Boston Marathon Packing List

I'm flying out tomorrow to run my 6th Boston Marathon!  Here's what I'm bringing:

A Cranky Hamstring
I ran the One City Marathon 7 weeks ago. That was my goal race for the spring and I ran a PR of 3:14:42.
I am running Boston for fun and because I love connecting with all of my runner friends from around the country. The original plan was to run an 18 miler and a 20 miler in the middle of this seven week period, but that never happened. 

Two weeks after the marathon, I ran the NYC Half Marathon. Even though I ran that race "easy" it set me back because I never recovered fully from One City. I was sore for days afterward so I took about three days off. When I resumed running, my right hamstring, which was nagging me in between the two races, started acting up. 

It turns out I have some mild tendonitis in my lower hamstring as well as my upper hamstring. I have been going to physical therapy weekly and doing all the recovery things, but the hamstring has been up and down. Sometimes I feel like it's 100% better. But other times, it really speaks to me. 

I have run two really encouraging track workouts since the NYC Half. Both of these workouts confirmed that I have not lost any speed and in fact, my speed is as fast as it's ever been! Both workouts were 100% free of any hamstring pain! But the long runs have really irritated the hamstring. I have run 13.1 miles twice, including the NYC Half. My third longest run was 11 miles. So I feel quite unprepared from an endurance perspective. It could be that my hamstring really loves the flat surface of the track but doesn't like anything remotely hilly. That would be problematic for Boston.

As much as I would love to leave this cranky hamstring at home - it's coming with me. For better or for worse!

adidas Adios Pro 2 Shoes
Last year I took a gamble and ran Boston in a brand new pair of shoes-- the ASICS Metaspeed Sky Paris. I had never run more than three miles in them prior to the race. They ended up working out well, but I decided against wearing them again because they only have a 5mm drop, which irritates my Achilles. 

Over the past several weeks I have tried numerous carbon fiber plated shoes. My favorite was the Nike Alphafly 3, but I didn't have the opportunity to run long enough in them to want to wear them on race day. I also liked the Brooks Hyperion Elite PB, but they started to feel firmer than I would have liked towards the end of a 13-miler. In order to want to wear them in a marathon, I would like to test them out for 18-20 miles.

As a contrast to last year's risky shoe choice, I am playing it safe this year with the Adios Pro 2. The only remaining pair I have boasts my half marathon PR and my full marathon PR from December-- before I ran One City. Ideally my marathon shoes would have fewer miles on them, but I think the Adios Pro 2 is a true workhorse that will still perform well with 50+ miles. I did try the Adios Pro 4 and that was a nightmare. My big toe was hitting the top of the shoe in my normal size, so I sized up and that was a mistake. The fit was sloppy, my feet were sliding all over the place, I got a blister, and my Achilles hurt from the 6mm drop. Adidas ruined their best shoe, in my honest opinion. 

One of the reasons I am playing it safe with my shoe choice is that there is so much uncertainty in other areas of my life-- I don't need shoe uncertainty on top of that.

Tifosi Sunglasses and Light Horse Track Club Gear
The weather is looking pretty good! It might rival the 2022 weather for my best Boston weather. The current forecast shows that it will start in the low 50s and rise to the upper 50s by the end, with sunny skies. Sunscreen and sunglasses will be a must!

I'll be racing in my Light Horse Track Club crop top and rabbit shorts - which have so many pockets for my gels. This will be my first time racing Boston in a "club" outfit, unless you consider my McMillan shirt from 2018 to be a club. 

What I'm NOT taking with me
Now we get to the heart of the blog. There's something I am trying very hard to NOT bring with me this weekend: the emotional state that I've been in for the past four weeks. The past four weeks have been plagued with frustration, anxiety, and anger. I am working very hard to shake these emotions, but I haven't done a good job of it.

We put our house on the market on February 28 because the builder of our new home told us that we were obligated to close on the new house on March 31. We were in no hurry to sell our home. No hurry to move. We timed the sale of our house to correspond with the purchase of the new one.

As expected, we had a contract on our house the first weekend we listed it, with a close date that coincided with the purchase of the new house.  The contract allowed for a short rent-back so we would have two weeks to move. Everything was going exactly as planned.

11 days before we were scheduled to close on our new home, our builder informed us that they didn't get the Certificate of Occupancy, which is a permit needed for us to occupy the house. The reason they provided was that they failed to get a VDOT permit for the work they did to construct our driveway, and they didn't give us a new settlement date. They estimated 4-8 weeks, but no guarantees. They told us that the house itself was built and inspected and fully approved, the only issue was a driveway permit.

Surely it couldn't take 4-8 weeks to get a driveway permit, and if so, surely that couldn't prevent us from moving in! Because the builder didn't give us any details, I contacted the government myself and they told me that the driveway permit was just one issue. The builder received a notice of violation a week earlier which included many more issues aside from the driveway. The notice stated that they violated the original site plan by disturbing land in the "tree protection" area. As a result, all five trees on our property (which are over 50 feet tall) would need to be removed and new trees planted. But none of this work could be done until they first provided a new site plan that complied with forest conservation standards.

We went back to our builder and asked them why they didn't mention the tree situation to us, and they said that they had no idea about the trees. It was unclear if they were lying to us to cover up the fact that they violated the site plan, or if they were just incompetent and didn't read the entire violation notice.

Since that date, the builder has sent us mixed messages about the process to get the certificate of occupancy (do the trees need to be planted or not?) and they revealed themselves to be completely incompetent, or inefficient at best. They received their violation over a month ago and as of today, we still haven't seen any tree work. 

The builder is being extremely vague with their communication. When we ask for an update we are told "we are working on a VDOT permit and we will update you when we have it." They don't even have a phone number where we can call them - they rely on WhatsApp messaging. Even more sketchy - they have forbidden us to contact VDOT or the county. They told us that we would be in breach of contract because it's considered "interference". 

The contract we signed with them protects them in every way, and is silent about protecting us. This delay has financial implications for us, and we could end up with no home if we can't close before our rent-back ends. We are literally living on borrowed time! We are forever grateful to our buyers for allowing us to rent back the house, but the end date is fast approaching. 

Where we are right now: the builder is not communicating anything to us aside from "they are working on it," we are in breach of contract if we contact the government, and there is absolutely nothing we can do about the situation. On the plus side, we did have a walk-through and ordered an independent home inspection. The house itself is in excellent shape, and is move-in ready. We are satisfied with the overall quality of the build. But we cannot purchase it and move in until the builder gets a VDOT permit (timeline unknown) and they remove trees/plant new ones.

This has led me to experience:

Anxiety: I have very little visibility into the situation and there are so many unknowns. I honestly feel like I am going to have all of my belongings in a dark, dusty storage area somewhere, including my piano while I live in limbo for God knows how long. The lack of control is very difficult for me.

Frustration: I had to un-schedule everything I had planned for the move (utilities, movers, address change, furniture deliveries, blinds installation, etc) and put it on pause and will now have to re-do it all. We're incurring lender fees (the builder agreed to pay half of them) - and they are steep. 

Anger: The builder messed up and they are completely unapologetic about this and do not seem to care or acknowledge that this is more than an "inconvenience" for us. When they first communicated the delay to us it was over WhatsApp and the message said "sorry for the inconvenience". They aren't transparent, they have forbidden us to contact the government, they are moving very slowly, and they don't care. We hate them. 

So............ where do we go from here? Greg and I have agreed that we need to make a conscious effort to NOT let this impact our mental health and our Boston Marathon weekend. We don't want to carry it with us. I have now unloaded it onto this blog and hopefully that's where it will stay. 

This situation is testing me and I am learning a lot. I am learning that I hold onto anger and anxiety because if I "let it go," it would invalidate my feelings. Like if I can just go about my life and be happy and shove this to the side, maybe it's not such a big deal. And I have this need to prove to myself and the world that it IS a big deal. So I grasp onto it tightly. 

This mindset is similar to how I used to approach marathons in my early 30s. If I didn't get REALLY UPSET about missing a time goal, then it would be like I didn't care. I had to get very upset to prove to myself and to those around me that a BQ mattered. The "oh well, I'll try again next time" attitude, to me, meant that I wasn't serious about qualifying for Boston. I was very serious, and my way of showing it was to get depressed and upset when I missed my goal. 

I have no control over the housing situation. I have very limited visibility into what is really going on. There's no resolution date in sight. I have to accept these facts, and realize that no amount of worrying and marinating in it will change that. I need to trust and remember that:

• The builder is financially motivated to move quickly because they want their money.
• If we are displaced from our current house, we can handle it. It won't be pretty, but we can get through it. 
• The builder is legally obligated to sell us that house - so we will get it at some point.
• Even though this has financial implications for us, it's not financial hardship or ruin.
• The best thing for me is to enjoy Boston - I shouldn't let the builder take that away from me too.

Right now it feels like we are not getting that house, but we will. We definitely will get that house.

What's on my packing list? Confidence. Positivity. Mental strength. Self-awareness. Self-care.

Track me on Monday with bib number 13694.

Birthday Marathon: A celebration in Richmond

Yesterday I turned 45. And I ran a marathon. My 33rd marathon, but the only marathon (or race, for that matter) that I've ever done on the day of my birthday.

Background
I was supposed to run the Marine Corps Marathon two weeks ago, but 16 days out I developed hip pain which resulted in two weeks of almost no running. Just some 2-3 mile runs here and there to "test" it out. Two visits to the doctor and cortisone shots eventually cleared things up but it wasn't 100% in the days leading up to the race, so I decided it wasn't smart to run it. Plus, the weather ended up being quite warm (so much so that they shut down the race early) and I would have likely switched to Richmond anyway. So it was going to be Richmond regardless, but the hip pain meant two straight weeks of nearly no running.

I had only run the Richmond one time before, in 2007. It was my 5th marathon and my first sub-4:00 marathon. I remembered it well, though, thanks to my detailed blog post. As my first sub-4:00 marathon, it carried good memories. I had also set PRs at the half marathon there in 2008 and 2015.

During the hip saga, I was headed down a dark path and I turned things around by truly letting go of any time expectation for a fall marathon. My goal became to simply run a marathon healthy and without hip pain, fully accepting that it might be one of my slower races. Letting go and truly embracing the marathon as an experience instead of a goal was mentally refreshing and really lightened my mood.

When I'm training for a marathon, much of the motivation to crank out the hard workouts comes from the desire to run a fast race. Otherwise, why would be I out there running hard tempos or long track workouts? Switching my mindset from "I am highly motivated to run a fast marathon" to "I just want to have fun" was a big shift in attitude, but one that had to happen.

Getting back at it
One of the benefits of taking so much time off was that I was really fresh when it came to do my last long run. Once my hip started to feel better, I was able to crank out 17.4 miles with some marathon pace work and have it feel totally manageable. However, this resulted in some serious DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) for the next 3 days since it was a shock to my system. I was familiar with this after my Boston Marathon fiasco last year. I took 9 days off shortly before Boston for an SI Joint issue and when I finally did a hard long run, my legs were really sore. So I knew this was no cause for concern.

11 days out from the marathon, on Halloween, I decided to run some mile repeats at 10K effort. I coached myself for this marathon, and I know that faster-than-lactate-threshold workouts are a weakness of mine, but extremely effective when I do them. I had just included marathon pace miles in my long run, so I thought this would be a good sharpening workout. I was targeting 6:45 for the repeats but didn't look at my Garmin for pacing. Running by feel, I ran 6:41, 6:34, 6:30 and they all felt like 6:45. This meant that I was in better shape than I had believed myself to be in. Wow. And my legs were still sore from the long run too.

7 days out from the marathon I did my last long run: 11.11 miles. I ran it as a progression run starting at the slow end of my easy zone and ending at the fast end of my easy zone. The entire run felt effortless with the first mile clocking in at 9:05 and the last 4 miles at 7:52, 7:47, 7:44, 7:50. I honestly couldn't believe how easy those paces felt. I was peaking for sure.

Shoe switch!
On Monday, 5 days out from the marathon, I decided to wear my race shoes for my final speed work, which would be 5 x 3:00 at half marathon effort. My plan was to wear the same shoes I wore in Houston (the adidas Adios Pro 2) as they only had 38 miles on them and they worked well there. However, I turned around and came home after running a mile out because my feet were slipping and sliding all around in the shoe. They were too big! How was that possible?

So then I tested another pair of the Adios Pro 2, the ones I wore in Boston 2022, and those also felt too big. I had one pair that was a half size smaller, but those shoes had too many miles on them for me to want to race a marathon in them. I then pulled a brand new pair of the New Balance Fuel Cell Elite 2, which is last year's model of the shoe. I heard many people say that version 3 of this shoe had issues and everyone liked version 2 so much better. So I bought a pair of version 2 and stashed it in my closet so I wouldn't even need to try the 3.

I put them on my feet and they fit perfectly. I ran 3 sets of 3:00 at half marathon pace and I felt zippy. Compared to the Adios Pro, they have a much softer landing and the fit is more locked in. I generally prefer the Adios Pro because they are more responsive and seem to have more pickup. But then I remembered my reason for running: to have fun. So what if these shoes weren't quite as fast? They were still fast and definitely faster than the shoes I wore when I ran my 3:15 PR, which did not have a carbon fiber plate.

The fact that they matched my planned outfit perfectly was a sign that it was meant to be. And having comfortable shoes might trump having faster shoes during those later miles. Usually I like to break shoes in a bit more before using them in a marathon, but I didn't have time for that.

The weirdest expo ever
Greg and I drove down to Richmond the day before the race with my friend Laurena. Laurena and I worked together nearly 20 years ago and hadn't seen each other since. But we stayed in touch and she reached out when she saw I was running Richmond. The drive down 95 was traffic-laden but the time went by so quickly because Laurena and I had 20 years to catch up on.

Laurena and me after the expo

The expo location was new this year (or maybe new to me, I am not sure when they moved it) but it was several miles away from the downtown start/finish at a NASCAR race track. It was cold outside with light drizzle and the expo was partially outside and partially in a garage-like structure. We were freezing cold and the light drizzle was annoying. After getting our bibs and shirts from a concession-stand setup, we went into the garage and walked through the expo. It was one long hallway with vendors on both sides. It was extremely crowded, cold and generally unpleasant. We wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. 

I can't even imagine how uncomfortable the vendors must have been in the cold and if other runners were like us, they didn't want to spend a ton of time there visiting the various booths. They had some featured speakers too and they were in an outdoor, uncovered space. 

I do not understand why the expo wasn't held at the convention center that was literally right next to the start line and race hotels. That would have made so much more sense. A more convenient location, climate controlled, more space for the vendors. But for some reason (I have to imagine there is a reason) they haven't held the expo there in all the years I've been running it (2007, 2008, 2012, 2015, 2018).

Food and Fueling
I am making this its own section because I often get asked about my fueling strategy. So here it is, all in one place. (Feel free to skip if this stuff is boring to you!)

I have a history of not being able to get gels down during the later miles of a marathon so it has taken me years to figure out a fueling strategy that works for me.

In the 3 days leading up to the race I tracked my water intake to ensure at least 60 ounces of water each day. I would have aimed for even high if the race was forecast to be warmer. I have a smart water bottle that tracks my hydration on an app. I used two packs of Uppermost Hydration each day on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I like the ways this hydration mix tastes and it has the added benefit of B and C vitamins. 

I did not carb load per-se, but I was mindful of what I ate and I made sure to eat carbohydrate-rich foods. Some examples are oatmeal, bagels, muffins, rice, pretzels. Pretty basic!

The day before the race I ate the following:

• 2 hardboiled eggs
• A medium-sized pumpkin muffin
• A turkey sandwich on a plain bagel with goat cheese
• A banana
• Lots of almond butter filled pretzels (Wegman's brand) - seriously a lot of these!
• Drank about 8 ounces of beet juice just before noon
• Had a beet salad with dinner
• Chicken parm (no cheese) with spaghetti and Pomodoro sauce at local restaurant
• Bread basket at dinner

2 hours before the race start:

• About 10 ounces of fluids (water + Skratch Labs Hydration)
• About 6-8 almond butter filled pretzels
• Half a banana

All the fuel I brought, actual intake outlined below.

This is not much food. I used to eat a bagel with peanut butter + a banana but I found that to be too much. I normally do not eat before I run in the mornings so my body isn't used to having a ton of food.

25 minutes before the race:

• Strawberry banana UCAN gel with 5-6 ounces of water. UCAN is a slow release energy so if you take it 25-30 minutes before start time it kicks in when the race starts and slowly releases energy. Maurten gels, on the other hand, deliver a burst of energy right when you take them.

Once I started racing:

I carried a 24 ounce bottle of water + Skratch Labs Hydration mix. This mix has electrolytes + carbs. I used 1.25 scoops which equates to 100 calories. After each mile marker: I took a small (1-2 ounce) sip from my bottle. I drank the entire bottle and was finished with it after 16 miles.

At mile 20, I took water from a water station and drank that while walking for 4-5 seconds. I probably got a good 4 ounces in. I had no other fluids after mile 20, which was fine for a cool day. I used this same strategy in Houston with warm temps and I ended up dehydrated.

I timed my gels as follows:

• 0:20- 2 Honey Stringer chews
• 0:40- Maurten gel
• 1:20- Maurten gel
• 2:00- Maurten CAF gel (my only caffiene)
• 2:40 - Maurten gel
• 3:00 - One honey stinger chew

Everything went down easily. I estimate that I consumed around 600 calories including the UCAN gel, Maurten gels, chews, and Skratch mix.

This could have been its own blog post but I like to write novel-length marathon race reports, so it's here. 

Weather
It was 38 degrees at the start and warmed up to around 52 by the finish. Winds were 2-5 mph and there were only a few times I noticed wind, mostly over the big bridge. The sky was mostly cloudy at the start and the sun started peaking though towards the end. It was quite humid in the beginning so 38 degrees felt more like 45 degrees - and Kathy and Greg agreed with this "real feel. On my personal weather scale it gets a 9 out of 10. It would have been a 10 if it stayed under 45 degrees and it was less humid. But 9 out of 10 is pretty darn good weather!

Time Goal:
Based on how great my training runs felt leading up to the race I knew my fitness was still intact. So I did not revise my goal from what I had originally planned for MCM: sub-3:20. This would be a men's BQ for age 45-49. The last time I ran sub 3:20 was in the fall of 2021 so I figured I should try to do that again before going for a PR (3:15:34). My marathon pace runs had averaged 7:25 for marathon pace, but I'm not bold enough to go for the marathon pace I run in training as it has never worked out for me. I thought 7:30-7:35 would be more realistic. I figured if I had a good day, I would run my second fastest marathon ever and it would be 3:17-3:18.

Additionally, I am registered for Boston in 2024. I used my 3:26 from Houston as my qualifying time. I thought that time might put me in wave three, which has a later start time. I wanted to submit a faster time to get back into wave 2 like I usually am. If you run a time faster than the time you registered with, Boston allows you to submit it for a faster wave/corral assignment.

Before the Race
I hadn't slept particularly well all week due to my body clock being "off" from daylight savings. I have a very rigid circadian rhythm and if it gets disrupted my sleep suffers. Thankfully I learned from CIM that you can have epically horrible sleep and still run well, so I was not concerned. The night before the race I got about six hours of mostly peaceful sleep. I went to bed at 8:20, woke up at 9:30 to go to the bathroom, slept from 9:45 to 2:00. And from 2:00-4:00 I was mostly awake but had some brief periods of sleep. I did not have any anxiety dreams about missing the race or any dreams about the race at all, which is rare.

I got out of bed at 5:00 and started eating (see above). I got dressed, which included putting body glide everywhere to avoid chafing. I also used a body marker to write on my arms which miles had the most uphill and which miles had the most downhill. That way I knew not to worry if I was going slower on the uphill portions or seemingly "too fast" when running downhill. I ultimately ran the race based on effort/feel, but it was nice to have a little guide of what to expect.

It was my 45th birthday. So the birthday text messages were already rolling in! I tried to minimize the time I spent on my phone so I could focus on getting ready and ensuring I had everything I needed. All of my fuel fit in my shorts pockets. For the honey stinger chews, I removed them from their package and wrapped them in tiny pieces of plastic wrap. The chews were mostly meant to be a backup plan in case I couldn't get the gels down. But they would also serve as supplemental energy as tolerated. 

I made sure my shoes were tied to a good comfort level, and tucked the loops of the laces under the firm laces to ensure they would not come undone. I learned the hard way in Houston when I had to stop to tie my shoe. I spent a few minutes using a massage ball on my glutes to help with glute activation. This was recommended by my physical therapist.

I left my hotel room at 6:30 and met my friend Kathy in the lobby. We chatted and that's when I had my UCAN gel. Shortly after we left the hotel and headed towards the start line. I tried to run there for a warmup but that was short lived because it became too crowded. Oh well, I would use the first mile as a warmup.

I lined up in the corral between the 3:10 pacers and the 3:25 pacers. There was no pace group for 3:20 or 3:15. I was happy about that because I don't run with pace groups and I find it annoying to be caught up in the big pack of runners. Since I was trying to run a time of around 3:18, I figured I should never see a pace group during this race if things went well.

Miles 1-6
The race seemed to start quite suddenly but I was ready. Mile 1 is always about finding a rhythm, especially since I hadn't warmed up. I go out at what feels like easy run pace and then adjust from there. I was expecting to see Greg at the first mile marker but I ended up seeing him a lot sooner. No worries, I was able to gracefully weave through the runners to greet him on the side of the course. 

Mile 1

I had studied the elevation profile of the course and I knew that these first six miles were slightly net uphill. I like to start conservatively so knowing these miles were net uphill meant I wanted to go even slower to avoid expending too much effort. 

A lot of people have conversations early in the race so eavesdropping is unavoidable. It was a nice distraction for me as I focused on their conversations instead of thinking about all the miles ahead of me. I stayed in the present. 

Somewhere around miles 4-5 the 3:25 pace group came up from behind me and I found myself caught up in them. I definitely did not want to be in the middle of the pack and even though I was confident in my own pacing, it was still somewhat demoralizing to have a pace group catch you. A 3:25 marathon is a pace of 7:48, and they were running notably faster. I dealt with it by speeding up to get out of the pack and once I felt like I was a good bit ahead of them I slowed back down. 

I removed my arm warmers at around mile 5 which was sooner than expected and I ditched my hand warmers not longer after. With temps ranging from 38 to 52, that was my layering strategy.

Mile 1: 7:43
Mile 2: 7:37
Mile 3: 7:32
Mile 4: 7:35
Mile 5: 7:36
Mile 6: 7:36

Miles 7-13
By this point the crowd had thinned out and I knew that my favorite part of the course was coming up. This portion runs down by the James River and it's quite scenic with all the fall colors. It's peaceful and mostly flat. There were a lot of curves during this section and a small part of torn up pavement. I had to watch my footing and pay attention to the tangents. But thankfully the pavement got better after about half a mile. The shoes were still feeling really comfortable and soft. 

As I was running mile 11, I said to the person next to me: it's mile 11 on 11-11 which is also my birthday! Let's make it a good mile! We chatted briefly and he asked me what my time goal was. I said 3:18 and he said 3:20. I lost track of him somewhere around mile 16 an I don't know if that's because I passed him or if he passed me. I wanted to savor every moment of this race. This was my birthday marathon and I almost didn't get to run a marathon due to my hip. I was grateful. I ran the entire race with gratitude. 

My splits below reflect the profile of the course. "Gently rolling hills" is an accurate description. None of the hills here were too crazy, but it made of uneven pacing. 

Mile 7: 7:17
Mile 8: 7:26
Mile 9: 7:30
Mile 10: 7:43
Mile 11: 7:18
Mile 12: 7:37
Mile 13: 7:18

Miles 14-20
My half marathon split was 1:38:58, which is an average pace of 7:33. I knew Greg was tracking me and I had told him to expect me in the high 1:38s or the low 1:39s, so I was executing exactly as planned. He later told me that he got no text message or email alerts. The tracking did not work. Oh well, at least I believed it was working and that helped me mentally!

At this point, I was on track to squeak under 3:18. Perfect. I felt really good but I had no idea how I would feel by mile 20 so it was too early to predict if I would be able to get under 3:18 or not. I stayed present and thankful of the fact that I was feeling good now, so I continued on. 

I did not turn up the gas intentionally but I got faster anyway. There were a few downhill miles which got me into a faster groove so I ran surprisingly fast during the toughest part of the course which are miles 16, 17 and 18. Those three miles are net uphill and include a bridge that is always windy even on non-windy days. I can easily see how those miles could be the beginning of the end for many runners!

In fact, once we were running over the bridge I didn't even realize we were on the bridge until I looked on either side of the course and noted it was mile 16. By this point I had finished all the water in my handheld bottle. Fueling was going according to plan and so far everything was sitting well. 

Mile 18

Once we were over the bridge I knew there would be two more uphill miles. At mile 16 I still I had no noticeable leg fatigue. I still felt fresh. Again, surreal!

I knew that Greg would be somewhere in the 18th mile and I found him at 17.5. I was so excited to see him. Before the race he asked me if I could give him some indication of how it was going at that point. I told him I would give him a thumbs up if it was going well. And he got a huge thumbs up from me! I was absolutely beaming. I had never felt so happy during the 18th mile of a marathon. 

Mile 14: 7:16 
Mile 15: 7:15
Mile 16: 7:39
Mile 17: 7:31
Mile 18: 7:26
Mile 19: 7:20
Mile 20: 7:30

Miles 20-26
I honestly could not believe how fast I was running. Similar to my mile repeat workout from 10 days earlier, I felt like I was running 7:45s when in reality I was running under 7:30. I think I must have been peaking at exactly the right time. And apparently all that time off from my hip did me some good and left me feeling fresh. I coached myself this training cycle so I gave myself a nice pat on the back for a job well done!

My official mile 20 split was 2:30:16, which is an average pace of 7:31. The tracking system was not working but I didn't know that. It perked me up to know that Greg could see how well it was going. 

I hadn't had anything to drink since mile marker 16 so I decided to walk through the next water station. I didn't want to stop again after that so I made sure to drink the entire cup which was probably 4-5 ounces. If it were warmer I would have needed more stops, but thankfully it was a cool day. The sun was starting to come out but it didn't seem to bother me.

I still had no idea what to expect from the rest of the race. Supposedly the last six miles were mostly downhill. But I remembered running the half marathon back in 2018 and it felt like there was still plenty of uphill in the last three miles, which are the same last three miles of the full marathon. 

My energy level was high and my spirits were high. I couldn't believe I was still going strong. Every time I glanced down at my watch my speed would blow my mind. Even though I wasn't on track to PR, I was not running this fast at the end of my PR marathon, which had been a positive split.

Mile 26

I didn't feel like I had faster gear, but the gear I was in was already plenty fast so I told myself to relax and hold it. I knew I had less than an hour to go and I could be mentally strong for less than an hour.

Miles 21-24 were magical. These are always the hardest miles of a marathon and they didn't feel nearly as hard as they usually do. Splits were 7:27, 7:13, 7:17, 7:19. UNREAL. I could not believe it.

The thought of getting a PR did cross my mind but I felt like I was very fragile at this point. Like I was so lucky to be doing what I was doing that any change in effort and it would all come crashing down. I was on a good path. No need to drastically shake things up. 

Mile 25 and 26 were the only truly hard miles of the race. My legs got achy and I was on autopilot. I didn't have much control over my speed, I just went with whatever I was given! I knew I was on track to crush my goal so I focused on taking it all in and remembering that marathons are what I love to do! I spend so much time and effort every day out of the year to prepare for this one day, this one moment. Mile 25 clocked in at 7:37 and mile 26 at 7:20.

I saw Greg just before mile marker 26. He snapped some photos and I knew the end was close!

The Finish
Richmond is known for its screaming downhill finish. Once you get to mile marker 26, the run to the finish line is a very steep downhill. I increased my cadence and let gravity do its thing. According to my Garmin, the last 0.31 miles was a pace of 6:11!

My official time was 3:16:04. This earned my 4th place in my new age group 45-49. 

It wasn't long before I vomited. For the past four years I have thrown up after every long distance race. It's inevitable. It doesn't mater how well the race goes, my digestive system shuts down. There was A LOT of vomit, but it was all liquid. It was a yellow-green liquid and I am not sure where that color came from. Once I got it all out I proceeded to find Greg. 

Before I did, someone stopped me and asked me to sign his copy of Boston Bound. Yes, it was another surreal moment. This person just happened to have his book with him at the finish line. I guess he brought it in hopes of seeing me. He ran a time of 3:10 so I guess he got his checked bag and then saw me. I signed the book for him and it made me so happy that someone brought my book to the finish line!

Greg and I were supposed to meet in the family meeting area, but I did not see that anywhere. I used someone's phone to call him and we eventually found each other. It was there that he told me he had no idea how I did because the tracking wasn't working. But he was able to zoom in on the photos he took of my watch to know it was going well.

We looked on his phone and found my official result. I was so happy with it! I was simply beaming and runner's high was in full swing.  Since tracking wasn't working I wasn't able to tell how Kathy or Laurena were doing. But I later learned that they both crushed their goals; they both qualified for Boston!

It was nearly a mile for us to walk back to the hotel. I was on Cloud 9 the whole time. My legs felt pretty good and nothing was hurting. Truly a rarity post-marathon. Back at the hotel I created my Instagram post and then took a shower. I read my splits to Greg and I was giddy with excitement.  45 was off to a great start. 

Stats:
Here are some fun stats:

• This was my 33rd marathon
• This was my 14th BQ
• I qualified by 33 minutes and 56 seconds
• I qualified "like a man" by 3 minutes and 56 seconds
• This is my biggest BQ cushion ever
• I was 30 seconds slower than my PR of 3:15:34
• This is my second fastest marathon ever
• This is my fastest marathon on a hilly course
• I placed 4 out of 164 women in my age group (45-49)
• First half was 1:38:58, Second half was 1:37:08
• This is a negative split by 1:40 
• Miles 22, 23, and 24 were all sub-7:20 and they were relatively flat
• I set a course PR by 40 minutes and 45 seconds; my time from 2007 was 3:56:41
• I beat my Houston time from January by over 10 minutes
• I will now be in wave 2 for Boston instead of wave 3

Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways
Everything worked out the way it was meant to. My hip injury was a blessing in disguise because the weather for MCM ended up being warm. And being injured on the cruise allowed me more time to enjoy the cruise instead of running on the treadmill. Once I flipped my mindset from a time goal to simply being grateful for the opportunity to run, then I was able to relax.

I missed two whole weeks of training and it didn't impact my fitness one bit! I expected it would, but I think it helped my body recover from all the hard work it did in August-early October.

I'm in excellent shape! This shows that I can coach myself successfully and I will continue to do so. I enjoy the freedom of switching things around to fit my schedule and I think I know what is best for my body at this point. Plus, I am a certified coach so I know how to build a plan. This will also save me money.

I coached myself with a few basic principles that I suspected would work best for me, given my history:

• A short training cycle. No runs longer than 16 miles until 12 weeks out.
• Focus more on high volume and less on long runs; no runs longer than 20 miles
• High mileage doesn't wear me out - long runs do.
• I get the biggest training benefit from running slightly faster than LT pace 
• Easy runs should be no faster than 9:00 in the summer

In other words, pack very high volume over 6-8 weeks with 18 milers instead of 20 milers. That will have me peaking at just the right time. I do not think my training contributed to this injury because it was mostly nerve-based. I think running on the tapered brick boardwalk in Miami was the culprit because my hip started hurting about 5 hours later. 

There have been many marathons when I was in physically better shape than I am now, but other obstacles prevented me from running fast. I think I could have PR'ed any of these marathons:

• Houston: 3:26 - Too hot and humid
• Two Rivers: 3:19 - Injured during race, slightly overtrained
• Harrisburg - 3:23- Digestive Issues
• CIM - 3:22 - To hot and humid
• Boston: 3:26: Torrential Downpour and 25 mph winds 

So much of it comes down to having a good day. Good weather, good fueling, good mindset, low stress other areas of life. It's admittedly been frustrating having had SO MANY cycles when I felt like I was in shape to PR but then the stars didn't align. Even though I technically didn't PR yesterday, I wasn't trying to do that. I still enjoyed that same magical feeling of exceeding expectations and having that race day magic. A PR is really just a technicality. It's my fastest race on hills and I am 45 years old, not 40. 

I'm encouraged by this race. I've shown that I can run really fast with self-coaching and through having a positive, relaxed mindset. I enjoyed every moment of this and I am glad I savored it.

11 Days To Boston: SI Joint Injury Update

I'm back again with an update, with a little more clarity than I had in my previous update.  I'll first provide a brief overview of the situation, then a detailed timeline (more for my own sake to remember how this progressed) and then I will do a little rant about of navigating the healthcare system. Feel free to skim, as this is admittedly a boring post. 

What I've learned since my last blog post:

• MRI showed healthy discs. I have minor bulging, but nothing that would cause this type of pain
  
• The root of the problem is very likely my SI joint 
• That said, I do have some tendinitis around the left hip and a tight Piriformis, which are likely compensatory issues from bracing the SI Joint pain. It's one big chain reaction.

Progress since last blog post:

• Walking is now pain-free 75% of the time, and during the other 25% it's slightly noticeable
• I was prescribed a 6-day course of MethylPREDNISolone, and I have no idea if the improvement is from that or from my time off running. I finished it today.
• I took 9 complete rest days from running, but I did do PT exercises and foam rolling
• I didn't try to cross train because certain movements aggravate the area that aren't running, like leaning forward. Healing was my top priority; not maintaining fitness.
• I received a cortisone injection into the SI joint today

Timeline
After seeing my doctor on Tuesday, March 29, I scheduled an MRI for the following Tuesday (which then I was able to bump up a day to Monday April 4). I wanted to rule out a bulging disc. 

March 30-April 3
I had zero change, zero pain relief Wednesday-Saturday, which was discouraging as I had stopped running entirely. My doctor prescribed a prescription for 1000mg a day of Naproxen, but that didn't help at all.

On Friday, I decided to get a second opinion from another doctor who ideally would be able to give me a cortisone shot, as I wasn't getting any relief with rest or with Naproxen or with PT/dry needling. This doctor was not at all helpful, but he did tell me to stop taking the Naproxen and instead start a 6-day round of MethylPREDNISolone. Those are steroids, which I started on Saturday, April 3 and finished today.

During this time I refrained from running and did minimal walking. But I did some light PT exercises for the hips and glutes, along with stretching and foam rolling. I also used my RapidReboot hip attachment for compression therapy. I didn't want to go too crazy with the PT exercises because I hadn't been prescribed any by my PT and I wasn't sure it was an SI Joint issue. I just did some common sense stretching and strengthening that didn't cause pain.

April 4-6
Monday was the first day I noticed some relief. Finally it wasn't painful with each step, so I figured the rest + steroids were working. Monday was also the day of my MRI. I actually somewhat enjoy having MRIs. It requires you to be alone with your thoughts; no distractions. A great mental toughness practice.

On Tuesday, April 5, after taking nine consecutive rest days, I decided to go for a test run. Pain with walking was almost entirely gone by this point. I ran with an SI Joint belt, which had been recommended to me by a few people on Instagram as well as a doctor friend. I don't think the SI Joint Belt helped, but I do like the support it provides while doing my daily activities. On Tuesday's run, I did a run/walk series, with the run portions getting progressively longer (2 mins, 3 mins, 5 mins, 7 mins) to see how things were feeling. Pain around the SI Joint kicked in about 15 minutes into the run. And then it quickly spread to the glute and hip and I ended up stopping at 22 minutes. This was extremely discouraging.

After the run/walk I foam rolled, stretched, used a massage gun, and took an epsom salt bath and things calmed down and were back to normal. 

I got the MRI report which I didn't quite understand, but my doctor friend told me it was all clear and that the pain was not disc-related. I have some slightly bulging discs, but they aren't causing me problems. 

My run the following day, April 6. was SO MUCH better! I ran for 4.4 miles, including a few short walk breaks. No SI Joint pain, but my hip did tighten up on me a few times, and I had to stop and stretch. This could be because I did not wear the SI Joint belt, and my PT told me later that day that I probably didn't need one because my pelvis didn't need additional stability. During our session he did an adjustment to help the hip, and he also performed dry needling on my back, glute, and hip. It was painful.

Later that evening, I had a virtual visit with my favorite medical provider, a sports chiropractor who recently moved across the country. He was my go-to for ten years and I trust his opinion entirely. I probably should have done this virtual visit two weeks ago, but I was skeptical that virtual would help much. In hindsight, I think he would have provided the clarity I needed sooner rather than a lot of the ambiguous answers I had been getting from other providers. 

This sports chiropractor has helped me overcome everything that has popped up over the years. Talking to him was very reassuring. I was on the fence about getting a cortisone injection and he was in favor of it. He told me what to expect, gave me some exercises and advised on how to proceed. 

Today, April 7, I ran 6.6 miles 100% pain free thanks to the PT session the day before. No hip tightening, no SI Joint pain. I ran it as a progression run because I had a ton of energy and threw in some strides. It felt amazing to be back out there again. I still decided to get the cortisone injection because I didn't want the pain to return, and today would be my last chance before my doctor left town. I learned that there are very few risks with cortisone in the SI joint, and the potential reward was high. 

I've had two cortisone injections in the past, but they were both somewhere in the 2007-2008 timeframe and not for my SI Joint. One was the ankle and I think the other was the knee, but it might have been the hip.

My plan is to take a rest day tomorrow to recover from the injection, do a short/easy run on Saturday and then attempt a longish run on Sunday. I'll have to play it by ear and see how everything feels, but that's the plan for right now. My doctor actually cleared me to run tomorrow but in general I feel like she allows me to run when I really shouldn't! 

Venting Frustrations
I think I would be much better off if I had a cortisone shot last week; but my doctor didn't have any availability on the schedule until today. I tried to get one at my initial appointment on March 29, but she said that she didn't have time during that appointment. I wish I would have pushed harder to get the shot right then and there instead of waiting 9 more days. Then I wouldn't have had to mess with the medications or the MRI. SI Joint injections are used for diagnostic purposes because if the pain goes away, then it was definitely SI Joint.

Instead, it was a roller coaster of trying different medications, scheduling an MRI and trying to get insurance to approve it (they did not), and not really knowing what the issue was or if I was going to be able to finish Boston. And it took a full week since my initial appointment to get real pain relief. 

I've spent so much time on the phone trying to schedule PT sessions, trying to get an earlier cortisone shot (without success), working through the MRI scheduling and insurance, trying two different prescription drugs. Basically feeling helpless, frustrated and uncertain!

It's much easier when you know what your injury is, how long it will take to recover, and clear instructions on how to proceed. (Like a stress fracture, for example). It's also easier when it doesn't pop up three weeks before the Boston Marathon. So while I handled Covid pretty well, and while I handled my groin injury pretty well, I really struggled with the uncertainty on this one. It was difficult to stay positive.

BUT, I think I am finally coming through to the other side and I'm done with the worst of it. I have the cortisone shot, I have two PT sessions set up for next week, I know I'm not dealing with a disc issue, I have guidance on how much to run and what PT exercises to do, I'm no longer taking medications, and I had a 6-mile pain-free run this morning! I had none of this on Monday of this week.

My primary goal is to get to the start line feeling good so I will prioritize that over trying to salvage my fitness. At Boston, my main goal is to finish the race and ideally be able to walk when I am done (or at the very least, to be able to walk later that day!)  I've already been to the Boston medical tent once and I have no desire to return. I also want a good finish line photo. I haven't been happy with my finish line photos from my previous Bostons!

If you read all of this. . . you're a real trooper! 

Marathon recovery and chess tournament preparation

I spent last week recovering from the Two Rivers marathon. I experienced a sleep nirvana like no other. For four nights in a row, I slept straight through the night, with loads of deep sleep (according to my FitBit), and for 1-2 hours longer than usual. I would have expected that with no running, I wouldn't need so much sleep, but it was like my body knew it was recovering from a major event and the sleep was phenomenal. FitBit even gives you a sleep score, and one night I got a 90, which is the highest I have ever seen, followed by a 91! This tells me that I really did leave it all out there on the course and that perhaps I didn't have enough rest going into the race. 

Mentally, I feel much better about the race. I wrote my blog when I was still processing all of my emotions. Of course, that is the main reason I keep a running blog - for reflection and closure on my race experiences so I can move on in a productive manner. My main takeaway is that I ran a solid race on a tough course without having as much of a taper as I needed, given the extended training cycle. I'm proud of my execution and my BQ cushion of over 20 minutes. 

Also, running is just one aspect of my life; not my whole life. When I was training at 75+ miles per week it felt like my whole life because I didn't have the time of energy for much else. But getting 10+ hours back last week with no running made me realize just how much of a commitment I made to that training cycle. Unlike with past marathons, I didn't jump to sign up for future races. I only have one race on the calendar (a half marathon in May) and I give it a 50/50 chance of getting canceled. So everything is up in the air with my future race plans, which is a first for me!

Additionally, I have a mild injury, which I am fairly certain stems from the bike accident I had in 2019. While vacationing in Norway, my tire got caught in a rail track, stopped the bike, and I fell onto the bike with my pelvis hitting the bar with a massive amount of force. The area never completely recovered. It was about 95% there and then I ran CIM 4 months after the accident and that aggravated it again. When I started strength training in May 2020, I started feeling it again with lower abdominal exercises. And I noticed that engaging my lower abdomen in any way made the area feel a little sore.

It was extremely mild so I didn't do anything about it. I trained for Harrisburg with no issues. But as I ramped up for Two Rivers in February, I noticed that the pelvic area would get tender from running. During the marathon, it was a little achy, but nothing major enough to even mention in my race report. When I finished the marathon, I did experience some nasty pain throughout the groin and pelvic region, which continued for the rest of the day.

Ever since the marathon, it's been a little achy when I have to use my lower abdominal muscles or when I move my legs in a certain way. I had an X-ray done today and was diagnosed with mild inflammation of the pubic synthesis, which means I need to cut back on running for four weeks, and I am totally fine with that.

Now onto the exciting stuff: I competed in a chess tournament last weekend!

Background
I started playing chess when I was six. I loved it so much that I asked for an electronic chess set for my 7th birthday and I played that thing all the time. It wasn't long before I could beat my dad. Then came the teenage and college years, followed by my 20s when I rarely played. I beat my boss at a job I had in my early 20s and he was just as competitive as me, and he didn't like that I beat him. And so as a general rule of thumb, I learned never to play my boss in chess. It's more important for your boss to like you and respect you for the work you do on the job, not because you can outdo him or her in some other game.

Chess on vacation in 2018

Fast forward to around 2011, the year after Greg and I got married. We took a trip to visit his parents who lived in Albuquerque, NM at the time. His father had a chess set and the three of us played many games because there really wasn't much else to do! This chess binge got Greg, his father, and me all "into" chess again. We set up accounts on chess.com and continued playing each other long after the visit to New Mexico. And then my father also joined chess.com and the four of us would play each other frequently. And then I started playing random people on chess.com.

But back then, I didn't have the mental toughness that I learned through running and through working with a sports psychologist. I would be extremely hard on myself for making a mistake. On chess.com you have a rating and when you lose, your rating goes down. And at some point in 2012 I think, I lost a few games in a row, became super frustrated, and stopped playing on chess.com. Greg and I also stopped playing on the board. We would only play on vacation when the place we were staying had a board. Greg got his rating so high that he stopped playing because he didn't want it to get any lower. 

A New Beginning
Fast forward to January 2020, when I saw a Facebook post from Michael Wardian, a professional ultra runner who lives in the DC area. He posted that he was getting into chess and that he was playing games on chess.com. I thought it would be super cool to play him, so I re-installed the app on my phone, logged into an account I hadn't been in for eight years, and challenged him. There are different types of games you can play on Chess.com with regards to how much time you get to make a move, and we played where you have an entire day to make a move. That way you don't have to be on the app at the same time. 

My favorite checkmate ever: two equines!

Whenever one game ended, we would start another one so that we always had a game going. I started to explore all the features of the chess.com app and I loved doing the puzzles. I even started playing "blitz"games that only gave each players 5 minutes total to finish the game. You win by either checkmating your opponent or having their clock run out faster than yours. I was absolutely horrible at this because it requires you to think fast under pressure.

Before I knew it, I had caught the chess bug again and upgraded my Chess.com subscription so I could play more puzzles, analyze more games, and take more lessons. And Greg got more into it as well. He started doing the puzzles and we started playing more games against each other. He also started watching chess videos on YouTube, which he used to watch years ago, but of course now there are like 100 times more of them available and they are of much higher quality. 

Upping My Game
A few months ago, I started talking more with Michael Wardian about chess, and I asked him how he was able to get his blitz rating so high. Of course, he is a naturally "fast" person so he is gifted when it comes to competing at speed. I asked him to share some of his games with me and he did. 

I started providing feedback on his games and his desire to improve fueled my desire to improve even more! He totally inspired me to become a better player and also to bring my game to a live, in-person tournament. 

Of course all of this did coincide with the release of The Queen's Gambit on Netflix, and even though I loved that series, it is not what heightened my interest in chess. And it's not what made me want to sign up for a live tournament. All credit goes to Mike Wardian. He had competed in several tournaments and had an official US Chess rating. He was also a member of a chess club.

So I found a tournament just 15 minutes away from my house, which occurred last weekend (one week post marathon). Greg, Mike, and I all signed up for it. Back in 2011, I wanted Greg to sign up for a live tournament because he was getting really good at online chess. But he never did, and then our interest in the game waned.

Greg and I purchased an online chess course and it reinforced concepts we already knew, but also taught us new concepts. Chess is like any game or sport; it's a mixture of natural talent and the hard work of training or studying. While the lessons we purchased were a good start, they barely scratched the surface of the complexities of the game. We also purchased a chess clock and annotation books per Mike's recommendation.

Mike Wardian vs. Greg Clor

The day before the tournament (Friday) Mike came over to my house to play Greg and me live on the chessboard. Playing a live game on the board with an actual chess clock is completely different than playing online. When you can see the person in front of you the dynamic changes entirely, and when you have to manually tap a clock and record the moves on paper, it adds another dimension.

In a live tournament, you make your move, tap your chess clock, and then record your move on a piece of paper. You also record your opponents move. This enables you to go back and analyze your game afterwards. At higher levels of competition, it's mandatory and you need an accurate score sheet to claim a win. To record your move on paper you need to know how to annotate all the pieces and all the squares. This was actually something I picked up quickly, and the more you do it, the more automatic it becomes. 

A huge thanks goes out to Mike for coming over and showing Greg and me the ropes of a live tournament. The score book, the chess clock, the rules, and everything would have been totally foreign to us otherwise.

How did it go? Stay tuned for the next blog in which I discuss how I applied the mental skills I acquired for running to the game of chess!

The race day countdown: why NOT to do it

With something like marathon training, where you are working toward a specific event on a specific date, it's easy to lose focus on what's happening in the present. As runners, we begin counting down to the marathon months in advance. I often post on Instagram: "Just 5 more weeks until race day!"  We are always very aware of how far away this event is, and it's easy for race day to become the day we are waiting for.

When I was training for Shamrock, I was often overwhelmed with how much I had to juggle. Not only did I have to fit the training into my busy life, but the weather threw in some curve balls, so I would have to adjust for that-- sometimes running after work or using a treadmill. During the past few months, I found myself thinking "after the marathon I will do x, y, and z".  I think I do this with most marathon training cycles, but I was more aware of it this time. It felt like certain things in life just needed to wait until I no longer had 70-80 mile weeks on my plate.

Now that the race is over, and I am getting to some of the things I pushed off, I realize I need to work on not focusing so much on that marathon date. A very simple example is taking a trip to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to purchase some kitchen items that needed to be replaced. Sure, I could have bought them online, but I wanted to go to the store, browse the items in person, and use all my 20% off coupons! Although I enjoy shopping, this task just seemed like too much to do while I was running all those miles.

One of my friends wanted to run with me the weekend before the marathon and I told her no. My only reason was that I didn't want to have to schedule or coordinate something. I was feeling stressed out (as I blogged about previously) and I didn't want something else that I had to plan for. I didn't want to have to be somewhere at a certain time.

In reflecting on these two examples, and my overall mindset in the four weeks leading up to the race, I was feeling really over-scheduled and wanting to put everything off until after the race. I want to avoid this in the future for a number of reasons:

1. I don't want to wish my life away
The countdown to race day is always exciting, but it can be a slippery slope. If I have six weeks to race day, then that's six weeks of quality living I have to do and I want to savor and enjoy those weeks. Whether I am running, going to work, spending time with friends and family, blogging, or playing the piano, I want to be happy in the moment. If I were to live from marathon to marathon, then the rest of life would pass me by!

2. I don't want to feel stressed out by my training plan
I think this is mainly an issue during winter months when I have to adjust when I train due to snow and ice. Or if there isn't enough light in the morning to do the whole workout and get into work at a reasonable time. As I posted previously, the running itself isn't the issue-- it's the logistics. I think this will continue to be a challenge in future winters, so I will need to figure out a way to be more relaxed and accepting about moving runs around. I think that the planning and scheduling of runs got to be so much, that I didn't want to make any other plans that weren't absolutely critical. So I kept thinking "after the marathon I want to do x, y, and z."

3. The marathon isn't that important
I work really hard to prepare for a marathon. I spend 8-10 hours a week training. It's important, but it's not THAT important. I don't want to be constantly thinking to myself, "March 17th is THE day!" All days are important. Some days are more exciting than others. Some days are easily forgotten and others are extremely memorable. And yes, marathon day is really exciting and fun, and it's great to look forward to it! But I think it's a mistake for that date to be a shiny object when I think about the months and weeks ahead of me.

As runners, we need to balance the excitement of looking forward to race day with the reality that we live in the present. I need to work on this. Running is not life; running is a part of my life.

Monday morning recovery run

After I DNF'ed the marathon on Sunday, I stayed in Virginia Beach and just chilled out. Greg and I
had dinner with one of my best friends from college who lives there and it was really nice. The next morning, we did a 3-mile recovery run on the boardwalk at sunrise. It was beautiful and calming.

My coach and I both thought I was ready to dive back into training, as if this had been a half marathon. Typically after a half marathon I don't need much recovery time and I am running hard again four days later. On Tuesday I ran for 90 minutes at an easy pace and everything felt really smooth and good. Wednesday was an easy 70 minutes, and on Thursday morning I went to the track. I was scheduled for five mile repeats but I quickly realized that my legs were not as recovered as I thought so I cut it off after just two, and those two were much slower than the target. Friday was 75 minutes easy, and I noticed my legs were really dragging.

In the meantime, the "life stress" that I mentioned in my previous post has not gone away yet, but the end is in sight. When I woke up on Saturday morning, just rolling around in bed, my legs felt a little achy. I had a long run on schedule and I decided to bag it and take a rest day. I guess I didn't initially realize how much the 13.8 miles took out of me on Sunday. I figured that doing a long run on dead legs would only put me deeper into a hole, and wouldn't provide much training benefit. My coach suggested I take Sunday off as well based on this feedback, so it's been a weekend full of relaxation and catching up.

Greg and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond yesterday and got the kitchen items we needed. I got a massage which further emphasized that my legs were not in great shape. Today I am tidying up some clutter in the house and getting a pedicure. I might go for a walk this afternoon just to get the blood flowing to my legs. My hope is that these two days off will restore my legs and I can have a quality week next week before tapering for the Cherry Blossom 10-miler.

As for right now, I am not going to focus too much on that race. I need to get my legs revitalized and enjoy my weekend!

From great to good: How I changed my life for the better

About six years ago, while discussing my running goals, I was asked why these goals were so important to me. Couldn't I simply be happy by being "a good person doing good things," he asked.

This question saddened me greatly at the time. It was as if I was being asked to settle.  I interpreted "a good person doing good things" as being ordinary and mediocre. Anyone can be a good person doing good things, but few people could qualify for Boston or win awards for their running accomplishments. I loved running so much because I believed it made me special. I wanted to be a someone who did great things, not just good things.

What I heard was "you shouldn't be so focused on this running stuff; give it up and just live a plain old normal life." It was like he was telling me I shouldn't try to be so special. I should just focus on being like everyone else. It was a hard pill to swallow.

This was six years ago and during those six years, I have thought extensively about this topic. I've opened my eyes to the world around me and I've had encounters with people who did not do good things. Who, based on the way they treated me and others around me, I believed to be morally corrupt. The more I observed the actions and motives of these people, the more I realized that being a good person, doing good things is the essential foundation for my self-worth. Not my accomplishments, running or otherwise. I work hard and I'm nice to people. I'm passionate about what I do. I try to bring positivity to challenging situations. I could win a dozen races, and it would be meaningless without this core foundation.

Accomplishments are easy to hang your hat on. They are tangible, measurable, and shareable. But they are meaningless if you don't value yourself for the way in which you live your life. Because I was never really taught what true self esteem was, it was easy to point to my accomplishments and feel proud. I think I've always been a good person doing good things, but I vastly undervalued it. I didn't realize that I should be loving myself for it, instead of focusing so much on what I could achieve. I'm probably a late bloomer in all of this, as I didn't come to this realization until my mid 30s. But once I did, it was life changing.

Now, as I go about my days, I am much more aware of how I'm approaching situations and not simply the end goal. I prioritize acting with dignity and I admire others who do the same.

I'm currently coming off of a five-week break from running. Many people have said to me, "it must be killing you to not run!" But truthfully, it didn't kill me. It was (and still is) hard, but I didn't focus on it all that much because I knew I would recover and eventually I'd be out there running every day again.

In closing, what this person was asking me to do was anything but ordinary and mediocre. He was asking me to start thinking about my values and who I was as a person. Was I a good person? Did I treat others with respect? Was I honest, caring, and genuine? I've come to realize that I pride myself most on my authenticity.

Great things aren't great if they aren't fundamentally good. If we all focused more on being good rather than great, the world would surely be a better place.

Nobody Cares About Your Marathon Time

Other people don't care about your race times. And that's a good thing.

They may be interested in how you do. And they may even track you during a marathon! And if you have a coach, he/she is likely personally invested in your performance. But your race time is not going to change the lives of other people. Other runners care about their races times. Any interest

they have in your race time is just that-- an interest. And a fleeting one, as they will likely not be focused on your race time the next day.

But what about the elite athletes who get press coverage? Or what about the runners who have tens of thousands of social media followers? People care about those race times, right? Not really. It's cool to scroll through the Instagram feed and see how people's races went. And it may be worthy of a conversation or two. But that's about the extent of most people's caring. I have nearly 10,000 followers on Instagram, and I don't think any of them lost sleep over my Indianapolis time. While I received an overwhelming amount of support from the running community, I know that my failure to meet my goal isn't going to change anything in their lives. And that's such a relief! Phew.

I'll caveat all of this with the statement that some people will judge you. In fact, people are probably judging you all the time for lots of things. And admit it-- you sometimes judge other people too. It's human nature to judge and to make comparisons. You can't stop people from judging you, especially if you put yourself out there. What you can stop is how you let those judgments effect you. Are you going to make decisions based on how you might be perceived? Or are you going to make decisions based on what is truly right for you. Do you value yourself based on other people's perceptions? Or do you value yourself based on your own standards?

It's easy to understand this concept intellectually. Most people know that they shouldn't care about what other people think of them. For me, the real breakthrough came when I actually felt it.

Back in the summer of 2013, I was debating whether or not to run the Chicago marathon. I had been injured for five weeks, so I was deciding between doing it as a fun run, or just bagging the whole thing. Was I going to embarrass myself yet again with another relatively slow time? Would everyone think I was crazy for considering myself to be a BQ-caliber runner? But at that moment, I was able to "catch" myself and turn those thoughts in the other direction.I realized that I was making this decision primarily based on how other people (my running friends and teammates) would perceive my time.

And that's what caused the breakthrough to happen. I realized that my time was important to me, but it was really just a small point of interest to my friends. If I ran a slow time, they might think, "oh, Elizabeth didn't do all that well," but then they would go about the rest of their day, focused on other things. And if they thought "oh, Elizabeth didn't do all that well," would it impact my life? NO. Not one bit. Let them think it! Let them think whatever they want about me because it's not going to change the decisions I make, or how I feel about my running.

Nobody cares how crappy I look here!

I've often been asked what the single biggest "a-ha" moment was in my journey to overcome race anxiety. It was this realization, which felt like like a heavy weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It made me feel free to do whatever I wanted with my running. I was no longer afraid to run a slow time because of what other people might think. And my anxiety levels plummeted.

The stakes were now lower on race day. Every race became about my individual goals and my own unique journey. I was no longer trying to prove anything to anyone. And while I still cared about my race times, I wasn't worried about embarrassing myself if I ran slower than expected.

Nobody cares about your race time. Nobody else has put in the work like you have, and nobody else has to live with the result. After all, how much do you really care about other people's times, relative to how much you care about your own time? You probably don't lose sleep over other people's running.

Learning to accept a missed goal is a skill in and of itself, but when you are ALSO worried about other people's judgments, acceptance is nearly impossible.

How does all of this relate to the marathon I ran two weeks ago?

• I went into the race feeling relaxed, so I don't think that my bonk was the result of race anxiety.
• When I started to struggle, I wasn't worried that the people tracking me would see I had slowed down; I was focused on trying to push through.
• After the race was over, I was wasn't afraid to share my experience with other runners on social media and my blog.
• I've spent the past two weeks focused on recovering and planning out my spring season-- not trying to justify what happened to anyone.
• I'm not looking at Boston (my next marathon) as a redemption race to prove to the world that I can, in fact, run a fast marathon. It's simply my next marathon. 

It's easy to feel pressured on race day, particularly if you are active in the running community. But other people's judgments should be the least of your concerns. Because those people simply don't care as much as you may think.

Erase This Word From Your Running Vocabulary

Lately, I have been seeing this word all over the place in the running community. Particularly in blogs and on Instagram. And when I read it or hear it, it's like nails on a chalkboard to me.

The word? Excuse.

Here are some (not verbatim) examples of how I have seen this word used:

• I'm not trying to make excuses, but it was 85 degrees out.
• There was a headwind for 5 miles of the race. It's not an excuse, but it slowed me down.
• Not making excuses, but I got a stomach cramp at mile 9.
• The weather was perfect, so no excuses. 

These types of lines leave me scratching my head. What? Why would you need an excuse? Did you not just go bust your butt in a race or a workout while most people are sitting on a couch? What would you be excusing yourself for? Even though these runners are saying that they are NOT making excuses, they are implying that they might, in fact, need one by virtue of calling it out.

Let's back up here. In trying to figure out why this word bothers me so much, I've broken it down to the basics. What is an excuse? When would you use one? 

An excuse has two components.

1. You didn't do something you were supposed to do; you failed to meet a commitment

• You didn't get into work on time.
• You didn't attend an event you RSVPed yes to.
• You didn't do your homework.
• You didn't call or text someone when you said you would.

2. You didn't actually intend to do it, so you manufactured an explanation.

• You didn't get into work on time because you slept in, so you blamed it on the traffic.
• You didn't attend an event you RSVPed to because you didn't feel like going, so you said you weren't feeling well.
• You didn't do your homework because you just didn't make time for it, so you said your dog ate it.
• You didn't call or text someone when you said you would because it wasn't all that important to you, so you said you were too busy with work.

Both 1 and 2 need to be present in order for an excuse to come into play. If it's just #1, then there could be a very simple reason why. Maybe there was a major accident that prevented you from getting into work on time. Maybe you truly were sick so you couldn't attend the event. Maybe you couldn't do your homework because you had a headache. In this case, none of these would be excuses, they would be reasons.

Now let's apply it to running. It's almost never the case that 1 OR 2 exists, let alone both. When runners say they "aren't trying to make excuses" my question is, excuses for what? What didn't you do that you should have done? You missed a PR? You ran slower than your goal time? Well, that happens all the time. It's part of running. It's nothing that needs an excuse, an apology, or even an explanation. That said, explanations are helpful in understanding what went wrong, and if it was something you could control, how can you improve for next time? If it was something you couldn't control, then it's important to note it and then move on.

I remember a few years ago at the start of the Cherry Blossom 10-miler, the announcer said, "It's a beautiful day at 45 degrees and 5 mph winds. We call this no-excuses weather." So, if the weather were hot or rainy, would that be "excuse weather"?  Could you imagine if the announcer of the Boston Marathon said "Well, it's going to be 75 degrees and sunny today. It's excuses weather, so go on and make excuses for your poor performance."

If you ran a race, you don't need an excuse. It doesn't matter how fast or how slow you ran it. It doesn't matter if you achieved your goal or not. You showed up. You gave your best effort. Period. If you went on any kind of run, actually, you don't need an excuse. You would only need an excuse if you intended to train for a marathon, but didn't do any of the work. Or if you registered for a race and just didn't feel like showing up on race morning. If you put miles on your running shoes, then #1 above doesn't exist. So an excuse would never come into play. 

I also really hate the phrases "what's your excuse?" and "no excuses" when it comes to running. I see those so often on Instagram and Facebook. And even in advertising. Those phrases might apply to non-athletes who may legitimately want to start running, but don't make it a priority. But for people who regularly go out and run, the word "excuse" is completely irrelevant and potentially self-defeating. It's a negative word, and it's poisonous to a healthy mindset. So erase it from your vocabulary.