I'm turning 40. Here are my thoughts.

In one week, I will be 40 years old! It's taken me about a year to accept this, but I have finally not only accepted it, but I am embracing it.

39 and 11 months old

Because this is my running blog, I don't write much about my life outside of running. But every once in a while, I think it's appropriate, and this is one of those occasions. I want to capture my reflections about this point in my life, and compare them to where I was 10 years ago. 10 years ago, in this blog post, I wrote this:

I started thinking about how I'll be 30 in less than two months and I'm just not happy with how I spent my 20's. I know that you're not "supposed to" have regrets. I don't know what I would have done differently, but I just feel like my life has been going in circles and circles for the past 10 years. I'm learning a lot, and I'm growing and changing. But yet my actual lifestyle is the exact same. I don't feel like I am maximizing my potential, and that I am far too "comfortable" in my lifestyle. Being comfortable makes it very difficult for you to want to make any dramatic changes to your life.

Career
I became much more focused on my marketing career in my 30's. I switched jobs a few times, and I am now at the executive level. Am I any better at marketing now than I was at 29? Not particularly. But I've learned much more about general business strategy, how to develop productive relationships, how to motivate others, and how to navigate sticky political situations. My tolerance for dealing with "crap" (so to speak) has increased, and I've learned that the higher up the ladder you get, the less actual work you do and the more "stuff" you have to deal with. People skills have become way more important, as has understanding the business strategy; not just the marketing strategy.

I've accomplished a lot career-wise. I typically get hired to build programs and frameworks that hadn't previously existed. Everything from structuring the back-end databases and processes, to launching conferences, advertising campaigns, and web properties. What I enjoy most about my career is coming into a situation where something didn't previously exist, and then building it for the good of the company.

Finally, I've learned that for me, the people are what make or break a job experience. I left my previous company because the culture wasn't the right fit for me. At my current company, I most enjoy the relationships I've built with my colleagues, and it makes going into the office fun.

Best marketing team ever!

Right Now: VP of Demand Generation at a large software company
10 Years Ago: Head of Marketing at a small software company

Relationships
Speaking of relationships, I've now been happily married for just over 8 years. Greg and I met a few months after my 30th birthday. When I turned 30, I was depressed about still being single. I wanted,

more than anything else in the world, to find my life partner. I lived alone and I didn't have many friends that I interacted with regularly. In fact, a few of my close friendships were on the rocks at that time. I had always envisioned getting married in my 20's, and when that didn't happen, I seriously started to wonder if it would ever happen for me.

Over the past ten years, I've become more aware of what I need in a friendship. Above all, I value friendships that are genuine. I want to be around people who make me feel like I can be myself. And I want to feel like they are being their true selves. Shortly after my 30th birthday my best friend and I had a "break up." We went our separate ways and did not speak for nearly 5 years. And then I realized that she had been one of the most genuine, truest people in my life and so I reached back out to her and we reconciled. Even though I don't see her as often as I'd like, I know that I can count on her for anything, and there is nothing I can't tell her.

As for new friendships, I've made many new friends through running! Some of them have come and gone, and others have stayed. The ones who have stayed are the ones who appreciate me for the person I am, quirks and all. I have no interest in petty games (I'm 20+ years out of high school). I want to be around people who are straightforward and genuine.

Right Now: Happily married and invested in friendships with people who want me to be "me".
10 Years Ago: Lonely, and invested in some friendships that weren't fulfilling.

Running: Mental
Running has been a large focus of mine for the past 10 years, and I hope it continues to be. I've made huge mental and physical gains in this area. Here's an except from my blog when I was 29:

I run because it keeps me motivated and it gives me something to look forward to. I feel like I am working toward something every day! There are always new frontiers to reach. New races to experience, new PRs to set. When I can't do that, my whole world feels so pointless.

Running was the ONLY thing I had when I was 29 and I knew it. And because of that, when running

Richmond Half, Nov. 2008

didn't go well, my whole world would seem to collapse. I even used the word pointless! Cringe! Here's another one:

My mother and many others have reminded me that my overall health is much more important than running. Somehow, this concept isn't so easy for me to grasp. Really, the main reason I want to be well is to be able to run. I'm more passionate about running than anything else in my life. I don't have a husband or a family like most people my age, so this is what I have devoted my heart to. It's probably hard for non-athletes to understand this passion, but for me, it's been the organizing principle of my life for a long time. My personality suits me perfectly for running. I'm extremely motivated, goal-oriented, passionate, perfectionistic, with a strong belief in the "effort-result" system. I have a need for structure and control in my life, and running every day provides me with that. 

That honestly sounds like an entirely different person. I can't believe I wrote that and it makes me wonder what I will be writing on my 50th birthday! What function does running serve in my life now? It's still a passion, but I recognize it as one thing I do. It's not the only thing I am. I do many things in life, and running is just one of them. It's something I DO- not something that I am. It's still frustrating to deal with setbacks, like illness, but I realize that my overall health is way more important than this sport.

I no longer have a need to prove to myself and the world that I can run fast. I simply enjoy the training, and I like sharing my journey with others-- all the while documenting it so I can look back on it.

Right Now: Running is a hobby that I am passionate about.
10 Yeas Ago: Running was all I had in my life.

Running: Physical
I believe that my lifetime PRs will be set in my 40's. I have no idea how fast these PRs will be, but I believe I can keep getting faster, at least for the next few years. In 2008, I ran the Houston Half marathon in 1:50:43. This year, I ran it in 1:32:24. I don't expect to bring it down another 18 minutes

in my 40's but I think sub-1:30 is something I can definitely look forward to. I ran the Richmond Half

Houston Half, Jan. 2018

in 2008, too, in 1:48:43, so it will be fun to see what I run on Saturday.

I believe what will fuel my PRs is the ability to train consistently, without illness or injury. Illness has been a major roadblock for me over the past 10 years, and I think I've finally learned how to avoid (or at least shorten the duration of) the mono-like virus that I get in the summers. I'm working with an excellent coach, who has gotten me to a point where I can run 70+ miles a week in marathon training, while feeling strong and energized throughout. At least in the cooler months.

Overall, my health seems to be about as good as it was when I turned 30. The only difference is that now I am much more sensitive to the heat and cannot recover as well from hard workouts in heat/humidity. I never tolerated the heat particularly well, but it's gotten worse over the past decade.

I anticipate that at some point in my 40's, I will slow down. And when that happens, I may become a 50-state half-marathon runner, or I may create a list of "experience" races to go and do, like Big Sur, or Capetown.

Right Now: Training for a 3:15 marathon, running 70+ miles a week with the help of a coach
10 Years Ago: Training for a 3:40 BQ using plans from books

Blogging and Social Media
Social media has truly evolved over the last 10 years, and so has this blog. What hasn't changed is that I do blog a lot, and I interact with people on social media frequently. I used to be active on MySpace and the Runner's World forums, and I met a lot of runners that way. Over time, things transitioned to Facebook Groups, Instagram, and Strava.

Since I published my book, Boston Bound, my audience has grown. I never used to actively promote my blog or social media presence, but when the book came out, I made stronger effort to reach more people. The main reason is that I never really thought people would care about my journey. If they did, then great, but I wasn't going to try and build an audience. However, the feedback I received on my book was so positive, and so many readers reached out to me about how the book helped them, that I decided to be more proactive about sharing my ongoing journey.

In 10 years, I'm certain the social media landscape will have changed again. But I plan on my blog still being here. And I will continue to write in it whether or not I am running.

Right Now: Blogging 2-3 times per month, posting on Instagram 5-6 times per week
10 Years Ago: Blogging 2-3 times per month, posting on forums daily

Financial
Because Greg and I both work full-time, and we don't have children, we are in a good spot financially. In my 20's and early 30's, I was really frugal and typically had buyer's guilt about everything. Anything I bought that wasn't a huge bargain was like a guilt trip.

I remember once when I was 28, walking around New York City in uncomfortable, $30 shoes, with my feet aching. I went into a store and tried on a pair of $100 super comfortable sandals. I bought them because my feet hurt so bad, but the guilt lasted for weeks! Unless it was running shoes, I had never spent more than $50 on a pair. I didn't consider myself particularly frugal or miserly. Instead, I thought that if you can buy shoes and handbags and shirts for less than $50, why on earth would you pay more? It wasn't until I was in my mid-30's that I ever spent more than $100 on a handbag.

Over time, I have let go of the buyer's guilt with the help of Greg, and learned that it's okay to buy something that isn't the least expensive option. Potentially, I have swung the other way with luxury vacations, a few pieces of zebra artwork, and the money I spend on my wardrobe. But I want to enjoy life while I'm healthy enough to do so; Greg and I are of the same mindset here.

Right Now: Financially comfortable, with a more relaxed attitude about spending
10 Years Ago: Less financially comfortable, but way more uptight about spending

Final Thoughts
As I approach 40, and look back on my 30's, my mind is more open than ever. I'll reach the peak of my career and my physical fitness, and maybe even publish another book. I think the biggest change in the "me" now vs. the "me" from 2008 is that I am way more relaxed. I don't care as much about what people think of me, I have a higher tolerance for putting up with BS in the work environment, and I'm focused on positive relationships, and I prioritize taking care of my physical and mental health. I think that's a good place to be.

September 2008

September 2018

Keep the P in PR

Personal Record. Or, Personal Best if you are in most places outside of the United States. This concept of a PR or PB (we'll use PR for the sake of this blog post) is what motivates many runners to do what they do. We want to see progress. We want that feeling of knowing that we're fittest and faster than we ever have been before. The feeling that all those early mornings and hard workouts somehow "paid off" and we have proof of it.

Now that social media is intertwined so heavily into our lives as runners, and real-life running communities are developing and growing, I think we've lost the P in PR. A personal record is just that, personal.

When I was working with a sports psychologist and heavily frustrated over my lack of PRs, he encouraged me to be less rigid in what I define as a PR. He told me I could have as many PRs as I wanted:

• Hot weather PRs
• Hilly course PRs
• Windy weather PRs
• Garmin PRs
• Training PRs

When you've run over 100 races like I have, and have been doing it for 12+ years, you'll probably only set a distance PR when the race has ideal weather, the course is relatively flat, and you're able to run the tangents (26.2 miles instead of 26.4, for example). Should you be robbed of all the PR glory I talked about above just because the weather sucked? Or the course was difficult?

The great thing about a truly personal record is that you define the criteria. I'm a data junkie so I like to track pretty much everything. I have a list of official records (if you're on a desktop PC you can see it in the right column) but I also track personal records for varying circumstances. Let's take the recent Boston Marathon for example.

Comparing last month's Boston to my official PR marathon of Myrtle Beach, I quickly realize this is a case of apples and oranges. I ran Boston in 3:26:53 and Myrtle Beach in 3:21:54. Let's break it down:

	Boston	Myrtle Beach
Hills	4 large uphills late in the race	Flat
Wind	20-25 sustained headwind the whole way	10-15 mph headwind for miles 8-20
Air Temp	High 30s	Low 40s
Precipitation	Heavy downpours throughout	None
Logistics	55-min bus ride + 90-min wait outside	Leave hotel 30 mins before race start
Tangents	Curvy road, a few turns (26.48)	Straight road, a few turns (26.23)

Officially, my record for fastest marathon is 3:21:54 at Myrtle Beach. What do I consider my personal record for best marathon performance? Boston. There were so many more obstacles and the race was less about fitness and more about strategy. I had a strategy for what I would do in athletes village. I had a strategy for my outfit and for changing my shoes before the race start. I had a pacing strategy that was specific to the course and the windy conditions. Boston was also more about attitude. It's easy to run fast when you leave your hotel room 30 minutes prior to race start with near perfect weather and the course is flat. I didn't need my mental toughness skills as much on that day.

Personally, I think my best marathon accomplishment is Boston. And, it's actually my fastest BQ margin, considering I am aging up for the 2019 race. My former self would have speculated on what I could have done if the weather weren't so horrible. But the time for that speculation was when I was training and setting goals; before the forecast came out. I had been targeting a 3:15-3:17, but I was able to accept my new reality once I learned what I would be facing. I got over it pretty quickly.

Army Ten-Miler 2017

Another example is the 10-mile distance. My official 10-mile race PR is 1:10:24 and when I ran that I was slightly disappointed. I had been trying to break 1:10:00, and I believed I had the fitness to do so. Weather conditions had been perfect but for whatever reason I just wasn't able to run what I believed I could have. On the other hand, when I ran a 1:13 at the Army 10-Miler in 74-degree, humid weather, I was elated with my performance. I typically don't run well in the heat, but I started out really conservatively and was able to run a huge negative split, passing loads of people in the second half.

Another great thing about personal records is that you can have them for training runs. I used to get frustrated when I would run really fast paces in training and then my official results wouldn't line up. I needed to learn to embrace the training PRs, and to have patience that the fast race times would naturally follow. I was really excited when I ran 19 miles with 15 at marathon pace, and marathon pace averaged 7:21. I didn't feel like I was straining at all! I felt like that run showed me that I had brought my fitness to a new level.

My former self would have been really upset that my actual marathon pace was much slower, but I'm not upset at all. I know what I am capable of and that's super rewarding. Would I like an official race pace of 7:21? Sure! But I need good weather, a flat course and easy logistics. Only 2 of those 3 are in my control.

As the summer approaches, I am gearing up to run a bunch of 5Ks. Most will be hot. Some will be flat, others will be hilly. I'll be able to run the tangents at some of them, for others, I won't. The coolest, flattest, and most direct 5K is going to be the first one, when I am least conditioned to race that distance. And the hilliest, curviest, hottest and humid 5Ks will come once I've had a few months of 5K training behind me. So, as I embark on this journey I need to keep the personal in personal record. I define the criteria. What I'm trying to accomplish might be completely different from what someone else is trying to accomplish. I may technically be racing hundreds of other women, but I know that each of us has our own purpose.

Mother's Day 4-Miler Race Report

This morning I ran the Mother's Day 4-Miler in Reston, VA. I had never run this course before, and typically I run the Angel Kisses 5K on Mother's Day, but that race no longer exists. Ideally, I would have had a few more weeks to recover from the Boston Marathon and get some speed workouts in before racing again, but my coach told me it was okay to race this anyway.

2015 Washington Running Report Rankings

In 2015, Washington Running Report ranked me #6 for women ages 30-39. That happened unintentionally, and so I looked into what I needed to do to qualify for rankings this year. There's a list of ranked races and runners need to participate in at least six of them-- with three of them being before June 30, and 3 being after. They're all local races, and the 5K that I ran in February was not on the list, leaving me with zero ranked races. So, I chose three of those races to run in the first half of the year, the first of which was today's 4-miler.

I had not done any speed workouts since Boston, except for 13 x 30-second strides the Tuesday before the race. That workout got my legs moving quickly again, but they still felt a lingering tiredness from the marathon. I wasn't sure what to expect from the 4-miler. On one hand, I was in the best shape of my life on April 18. On the other hand, I hadn't really don't anything since then to preserve it. Also, I wasn't sure if my legs would be ready to race, particularly on a hilly course.

Pacing Strategy and Goal
I think I run my best when I have a ballpark idea of the paces I want to run for each part of the course. Even though I had never run this race before, I had done my homework and I knew that the first mile was the toughest. It was a net gain of 70 feet, with one of the hills being a 100 ft climb. I knew that the first mile would be the slowest of the race, and I determined I would push hard, and rely on my endurance to still have energy for the rest of the race.

As for a pace target, I looked to the last 4 miles of the Shamrock Half Marathon because those are the fastest consecutive four miles I have ever run: 7:01, 6:58. 7:02, 6:56. So I set my sights on sub-28:00, which would be a PR. My "official" 4-miler PR had been 30:08, set in 82-degree weather last

Mile 1

summer. It may sound like a soft goal to run a 4-mile race at faster than half marathon pace, BUT given that it was much cooler and flatter at Sharmcok with a tailwind during those final miles (and I hadn't just taken three weeks off to recover from a marathon), I thought that it was a challenging but realistic goal.

Before the Race
Greg and I arrived about 40 minutes before the start of the race and warmed up with our friend Allison. I ran into a bunch of people that I knew, which made it more exciting. The sky was partly cloudy so I decided against wearing my sunglasses. It was humid, and about 56 degrees at the start. Given that it's May 8, that's pretty good! My previous Mother's Day races have always been warmer, with last year's race being close to 70. Greg, Allison, and I lined up close to the front and before we knew it, we were off!

Mile 1: 7:04
I originally estimated that this would be a 7:10 mile, but Greg was running very close behind me, so I wanted to keep the effort level up. I just told myself I was still really fit and even though I was expending a lot of effort to get up the 100 ft climb at this pace, that once I hit the downhills, it wouldn't be as much of a strain.

Mile 2: 6:54
Greg was still nipping at my heels. I could hear him breathing, and I really wanted to keep ahead of

him! I'm not competitive with him, but I still didn't want him getting ahead of me. Partially because I knew I had the fitness level to run at his pace. This mile had some gentle rollers, but was fairly flat for the most part. I continued to push really hard, and expected my pace to be a bit faster, given the flatness, but it wasn't happening.

Mile 2, photo by Cheryl Young

Mile 3: 7:04
Shortly after the mile two mark, Greg passed me. It was a strong move, and he quickly put about 5 seconds in between us. By that point, I was kind of just hanging on and hoping I could keep him in my sight! This mile was comprised with a large downhill, followed by an equally large uphill. According to my Strava data, it was a net downhill mile, but it certainly did not feel like it! I flew on the downhill, but afterward, my legs just didn't want to run uphill anymore. By the end of the mile, Greg was still about 5 seconds ahead of me, which made me feel like I was still running strong.

Mile 4: 6:44

Boston logo on shorts! Photo by Cheryl Young

Note: All of my mile splits end in "4" which is cute for a 4-mile race! I knew that this mile featured a nice long downhill to make up for the first hill we ran. I was desperately looking forward to it. After a small uphill, it came, and I flew! Up until that point, I was just barely on track for my sub-28:00 goal and I wanted a stronger margin on it. Greg was still ahead of me, but it didn't look like he had widened the gap. I gave it everything I had in me and turned the final corner to finish.

Official time: 27:51

Goal attained! I ended up taking second place in my age group, and it was definitely a competitive field. Greg ended up finishing in 27:43, which was 4th place in his age group. I'm happy to see him running so strong after his ankle break last year. It's great that we can finally train together again.

I was really pleased with how this went, mainly because I felt strong throughout. I ran about the time I expected and executed mainly according to plan, and my post-Boston legs held out through the end. They were screaming at me afterward, however.

Overall, this was a great experience! I saw many of my friends at this race, I checked off the first of my "qualifying" races to be ranked, and I met my goal of sub-28:00 on a hilly course. And it's always nice to get an age group award too!

New Boston Marathon shorts are a perfect match for the racing singlet!

Trusting and Pushing: Cherry Blossom 10-miler Report

This morning I ran my 5th Cherry Blossom 10-miler. I used this race to practice some of the things I mentioned in my post about pushing past limits in order to get myself to the next level.

Background
Whenever anyone asks me what my favorite race distance is, I say "the 10-miler". It's short enough so that

the pain isn't horribly prolonged, but it's long enough where you don't feel like you are about to die for the entire duration of the race. I've also raced consistently well at the 10-mile distance and I feel like it's my "sweet spot" in terms of performance. In my first few years of running, I would set 10K PRs during 10-mile races.

I had a few goals for this race. The primary one was to see how much I could push myself. The weather was going to be ideal (low 40's and sunny), so there would be no unknowns there, and I knew the course, so this would be the perfect chance to really test my limits in terms of pushing. Of course, I always go into races

wanting to push my hardest, but I've never really focused on it so heavily beforehand. I've usually focused more on the time goal and not my effort level. In the two weeks leading up to the race, I thought a lot about the mental strategies I would need to use to push hard when things got tough. I remembered all the mantras I have used in past races to keep strong and I visualized myself during the last 3 miles pushing hard instead of giving in.

Cherry Blossom 2013

My other goals were to go into the race relaxed and well-hydrated and run the tangents. In terms of a time
goal, I wanted to beat my PR of 1:15:52 from 2012 and ideally get under 1:15. I tried to do this last year, but it was extremely windy during miles 7-9, so I ended up with a 1:16:10. This year, I was fairly confident in my ability to run a sub-7:30 pace, but just barely, and I know that this course always runs long on my Garmin. I suspected I would be able to run a sub 7:30 pace, but I didn't know if that would necessarily equate to a 1:14: xx.

My training in the week leading up to the race was solid. I ran 10 easy miles on Monday, 6 x 800m on Tuesday (7 total), rested on Wednesday, and then did some easy running on Thursday and Friday. My running felt good all week and I felt ready. Even though I am in the middle of marathon training, I prefer to look at my training as not just centered around one race. If I do, it puts too much pressure on me for that race. I didn't see Cherry Blossom as a tune-up for the sake of marathon fitness, but a race in and of itself to be prepared for and raced to my full ability.

Before the Race
I slept about as well as can be expected the night before the race. I woke up several times during the night wondering what time it was, but overall, I think I got about 6-7 quality hours. Greg and I woke up at 5:15 with a goal of leaving the house at 6:00. It turns out that this wasn't enough time to eat our breakfast, go to the bathroom, get dressed, and get all of our stuff together. I'm including this so that I know to wake up earlier next year! We ended up leaving the house at 6:15, and we were so rushed that Greg didn't bring his driver's license and neither of us brought money. We had our metro cards, but I wasn't even sure how much money was on mine.

Normally a situation like this would have made me a bit anxious, but instead I found it thrilling. We drove to the metro station knowing that we'd end up in DC without money or ID and only the metro cards to get back. It actually helped distract me from thinking about the race. We were also later than I wanted to be, so I was worried that we wouldn't have enough time to use the porta potties.

It turns out, we did not have enough time for that, but it was fine because we didn't need to anyway, which is a first. We got into our corral with about 15 minutes to spare, which is what I planned for, since the corrals get really crowded.

Miles 1-4
As the race started, I felt really relaxed. I was excited to finally be there as I had been anticipating this race for the past few weeks. In the spirit of pushing hard, I didn't want to look at the Garmin too much initially. I told myself to trust my experience with the 10-mile distance, and that I would know what the appropriate pace felt like. Trust. I repeated that to myself over and over during the beginning. Trust your training. Trust you can push hard for the whole race. Trust that you won't blow up. Trust your experience. I didn't look at my Garmin until it beeped for the first mile. 7:37. A little slower than planned, but better too slow than too fast. I figured I had 9 miles to get the pace down.

Mile 2 was over a bridge which included a slight uphill and then slight downhill, and then repeated as we turned back around on it. The pace was feeling challenging, but I told myself that it should feel hard for the entire 10 miles. It's not like a marathon that feels easy during the first hour or so. Again, I avoided the Garmin because I didn't want to be discouraged by a slow pace, or freaked out by a fast pace.

I carried a water bottle for the first four miles, and it felt great to finally toss it aside and have my hands free. I also didn't want to over-drink. I think I've made the mistake of drinking too much during races, resulting in cramping. I had hydrated well beforehand and I drank a good amount during miles 1-4, so I felt confident tossing the bottle and not having any more water for the last six miles.

Mile 1: 7:37
Mile 2: 7:26
Mile 3: 7:19
Mile 4: 7:15

Miles 5-7

I only looked at my Garmin when it beeped for the mile. I wanted to run by feel and not slow down or speed up based on my pace. I looked at the overall time when I crossed the 5-mile mark, and it was 37:24. I was on track for my sub-1:15 and feeling great.

There was also a timing mat for the 10K mark, which I hit at 46:33. That's a good 10K time! I thought to myself that I probably could have set a nice PR in the 10K distance today.

Mile 6 is always challenging in this race because there are a few hills and things start to hurt a lot more-- and yet you aren't really close to the finish. I always dread mile 6 of this race, but things tend to get easier when we reach Hains point at mile 7. We ran around a lot of curves during the 7th mile, and I was longing for the road to just be straight so I wouldn't have to focus on tangents. I started repeated "run to mile 7" over and over again to myself. This got rid of the negative thoughts that were starting to enter my mind. It worked so well that when I passed the mile 7 marker, I kept repeating it! I laughed at myself a bit, but the mantra was working.

Mile 5: 7:24
Mile 6: 7:36
Mile 7: 7:24

Miles 8-10
I couldn't believe I still had three miles to go. It seemed impossible and I was ready for the race to be done. I started envisioning myself dropping out at various points, which is a thought that always crosses my head

Photo by Cheryl Young

during races. I told myself to push and trust. I kept reminding myself that this was my chance to really see how hard I could push. After thinking about this for weeks, here it was-- the time when I wanted to push hard despite how tired I was feeling.

During the 9th mile there was a bit of an unexpected headwind. It wasn't horrible, but definitely noticeable, given that I was already feeling so worn out at that point. It also felt like a slightly uphill mile. But maybe I was just really tired. I glanced down at the Garmin a few times and noticed my pace was significantly slower and I was at risk for not meeting my goal. I told myself that the pain was just temporary, it would be over soon. Now was not the time to give in, after pushing so hard for the first 8 miles.

We finally hit mile 9 and had just one mile left! It was so hard! The last mile includes the biggest hill of the race and I used every ounce of energy I had to push up it. I finally reached the top, my Garmin beeped 10 miles, and then I ran a downhill stretch to the finish line.

Mile 8: 7:31
Mile 9: 7:40
Mile 10: 7:47
Last 0.7: (5:51 pace)

The Finish and Beyond
I felt like death immediately after crossing and knew that I did push past limits. I beat my PR from 2012 by 26 seconds, with an official time of 1:15:26. According to my Garmin, my average pace for the run was 7:29, which is pretty much what I predicted-- with the official race pace being a 7:32.

I found Greg about a minute after crossing, but I wasn't able to speak to him for a few minutes. We went immediately to the metro station without stopping for food or socializing, as we were both eager to be home. Fortunately, we made it back to our car without needing money or IDs! I have to say that one of the accomplishments of the day was how efficient we were at getting in and out of the city. No baggage check, no post-race food, no socializing- just the race and back home.

I placed 377 out of 10,548 women.
I placed 41 out of 1,597 in my age group (F 35-39).

I was excited to be in the top 2.5% in my age group!

Getting super data-focused, I could see this as my second "fastest" race ever. Looking at the McMilllan running calculator, the only distance where I have run a faster equivalent is the 5K.

McMillan pace equivalents

I was really pleased with my performance on this one. I achieved all of my goals: I went into the race feeling relaxed, I pushed hard when things got tough, and I ran a sub-7:30 pace. I know that my previous 10-mile PR was pretty solid, so at this stage in my running career, I don't expect to be setting huge PRs. I'm thankful to be getting faster slowly but surely, and that the 10-mile distance continues to be one where I excel.

Photo by  Cheryl Young

Setting The Bar

As a "recovering perfectionist" I am learning that I tend to set the bar too high. Previously, I would go into the majority of my races expecting PRs. Unless I was coming off of an injury, or the weather was warm, then I would shoot for a PR and then be disappointed when I didn't get it. I always thought this was a good thing because I wanted to set the bar high. I wanted to push myself. But now I am realizing that pushing oneself doesn't mean setting the bar high for every race in terms of a time goal.

There are three "levels" of performance, according to my sports psychologist. You can run the best race you have in you on race day, and end up in any one of these three areas.

1. You have your "bottom line" which is the range of times you would get if things didn't really go your way. You might expect to fall your bottom line range if the weather were hot, if you were coming off of an injury, if you just didn't "feel it" that day, if your nutrition or hydration were off. There are many reasons why you might run in your bottom line range. 

2. You have a "mid-range" area where if things went well, that's where you'd land. You felt good, the weather was decent, you had trained well, etc.

3. You have an "upper end" area where the PR and beyond lives. This happens when you have an amazing day, everything comes together. You're feeling great, you've trained well, you're well rested going into it, etc.

Of course, there are always the out-liers on the bottom end, like if you injure yourself during the race, or have major digestive issues, etc. That wouldn't be considered part of #1, that would just be an extenuating circumstance, which happens to everyone from time to time.

In a given year, how often can I expect to be at #3? Previously, I was expecting more than 50% of my races to be at #3. This isn't realistic-- at least not for someone who has been running for as long as I have been. For experienced runners who have been running for awhile and are past the point of setting PRs at each race, it's realistic to be at #3 about 20% of the time. My sports psychologist told me that "normal" and "realistic" for experienced runners is 50% at the bottom line, 30% in the mid-range, and 20% at the upper end. He said if you ask elite marathon runners how often they run a marathon that they think is a very strong performance, they will say about 1 in 5. At the end of 2013, if half of my races are at my bottom line, and 30% are in the mid-range, and 20% are at the upper year, then it's been a good year. If I exceed that, then it's been a great year. 

He also said that if he were to interview the first 1,000 finishers of a large race, that probably 20% of them would have set PRs, 30% would have been in their mid-range, and half of them would have been at their bottom line. This was an eye opener for me. I don't think he's lying-- he's been in this profession for over 25 years. So I've been digesting this concept for awhile now and trying to apply it to myself.

This is not to say that I should only try to get a PR in 20% of my races. Rather, to understand that PRs are the exception, not the rule. And I also think the point is that I need to go into a race not trying for a particular time, but to do my best and focus primarily on how I will run the race, not what the result will be. This "setting the bar" is not so much about goal setting, but being realistic about how I review my performances afterwards. The key is that you can run to the best of your ability and land in any one of these three areas. Running the best race you can on a particular day does not necessarily equal a PR, even if you are in the best shape of your life.

In the past, I've always expected my marathons to be at the upper end.  My first six marathons were all PRs and everything went perfectly smoothly. In fact, I exceeded my expectations with every single one of them! Since I know I am capable of running fantastic marathons, I have always expected it out of myself. I figured that if I set the bar any lower than how I performed at my first six, then I would be doing a dis-service to myself. 

This is simply unrealistic and it creates a great deal of pressure, resulting in exactly the opposite of what I want. Going into each marathon, I knew I wouldn't be satisfied unless I was in that "upper end" of performance range, just like I had been for my first six. And as the years went by, I just felt more and more pressure to prove myself. Thus, my marathons have been a very long string of anxiety-related blow ups.

My sports psychologist wanted me to think about what specific ranges of times I would put in each bucket for 2013. The ultimate goal of training is to lower all of the ranges, but this doesn't happen overnight. I shouldn't be revising these buckets every time I race-- I need to be focused on more of the big picture of my running as opposed to any one specific race. Will I run a 3:30 marathon? Absolutely, I know I will. Will it be the next marathon I run? I don't know. I'm focusing now on the bigger picture of my running, and I won't let one race, one day, be the judgement of weeks and months and years of hard work and dedication. 

One of my many new year's resolutions is to set the bar high for myself in a completely different way. Instead of always trying to set PRs with my running I will have extremely high expectations in the areas of:

- Believing in myself and my ability to work hard

- Taking good care of my body

- Keeping running separate from other areas of my life

- Conducting constructive post-race reviews and weekly training reviews

- To have patience

- To compare only to myself-- not to other people

- To just let myself run without judgement

These are by no means easy for me, but they are all within my control. The bar is set for 2013, and I'm looking forward to a happy, healthy year!

2008 Recap

2008 was a good year for me running-wise, with the exception of a knee injury in the Spring and a 5-week long illness in the fall. Since I started racing in 2005, I know that my "gains" will be less significant as time goes by, so having another year like 2008, with significant PRs at several distances, will be unlikely. While there are still many good things to come in my running career (or so I hope) I'd like to take a moment to reflect back on 2008.

Races & Places
The furthest I traveled for a race this year was the London Marathon in April. Other interesting locations were the Houston Half Marathon, Richmond and Virginia Beach (for the Shamrock marathon and the Rock 'N Roll Half). The other races were all in the Washington DC Metro area.

Marathons
Shamrock Sportsfest Marathon, March 16, 3:51
Flora London Marathon, April 13, 4:11:57

Training Miles
I ran 1746 miles in 2008. This is exactly 150 miles more than my total from 2007, which was 1596. I had injuries in both years, but the injuries in 2008 sidelined me more than in 2007. The total is less than what I had hoped for (I was going for 2000), but after my injury healed, I ran 1130 miles for the second half of the year. Had I been able to do this for the first part of the year, I would have exceeded my goal.

Highest Mileage Month: 225.5 (December)
Lowest Mileage Month: 39.9 (May)
Highest Weekly Mileage: 56 (December 1-7)
Lowest Weekly Mileage: 0 (A few times due to injury and illness)
Average Training pace: 9:25/mile

In 2007, my highest monthly mileage was 168, and highest weekly mileage was 48.

Injuries
For the first half of the year, it was one injury after another. But once I got smarter about training, my injuries vanished. Injuries included:
- Pinched Peroneal Nerve in early January
- Strained Tibialis anterior (outer shin muscle) in March, April, and May
- Outer Knee pain, from using the wrong shoe in March and April
- Patellar Tendonitis from April to July
- Virus throughout the entire month of September

Bad Racing Experiences
The worst race of the year (and perhaps my life) was the Rock 'N Roll VA Beach half marathon. I had been coming down with some sort of viral infection, and didn't realize it at the time. It was also 93% humidity and the upper 70's. I would have DNFed if I thought I could get a way back to the finish line. I have never felt so wasted during a race and immediately after. Following this race, I was sick for nearly five weeks.

I also attempted to run a 10K just as I was recovering from being sick, and I ended up really messing it up. It was so bad I didn't even post a blog about it. I felt like shit throughout the entire run, with a time that I was completely ashamed of. Not to mention that the 10K is already the most challenging distance for me.

PRs
I set a PR at every distance this year, except for the 10K. And I did not race a 10-miler, so there was no PR to be had. I also ran my first 20K, but I used it as a "marathon pace" training run.

5K: 23:22 (7:31 pace)
4-mile: 30:16 (7:34 pace*)
20K: 1:44:26 (8:25 pace)
1/2 Marathon: 1:48:43 (8:17 pace)
Marathon: 3:51:49 (8:51 pace)

*Course may have been 3.9 miles, but damn, it was hilly!

Running Buddies
Brent and I ran the Shamrock Marathon together (well, not together, but we drove together, etc) and a 10K. It was great to take a trip to Houston to visit one of my best running friends (and best overall friends!) Randi. She ran the full while I did the half. My friends in London, Zoe, Rosa and Charlotte were amazing when I went over there. They totally took care of me. Also a shout out to Lauren who ran the VA Beach half and the Leesburg 20K with me. And then there are the "usual suspects" who I often see at local races.

Also extremely important is my running support network. The Big Cat Race Team (especially George/La Lynx), the "Think Fast" ladies and the "RWOL BQ" girls have been incredible in supporting me.

Randi and me before the Houston Marathon

At a London restaurant after running the marathon with my British friends.

Brent and me before a 10K

Power Songs
5. Fall Out Boy- Beat It
4. Paramore- Misery Business
3. Good Charlotte- I Don't Wanna Be In Love
2. Jason Mraz- The Dynamo of Volition
1. Counting Crows- Cowboys

2008 Races
January- Houston Half Marathon: 1:50:43
March- Shamrock Marathon: 3:51:49
March- Scope It Out 5K: Dropped out, Injured
April- Flora London Marathon: 4:11:57
April- GW Parkway Classic 5K: 23:55
May- Cascades Firechase 10K: 58:30 (injured, training run)
June- Lawyers Have Heart 10K: Too slow to mention!
June- PRR Twilight Festival 4-miler: 35:33 (100-degree heat)
August- Leesburg 20K: 1:44:26
August- VA Beach 1/2 Marathon: 2:03:xx
September- Hartford Marathon: Dropped out, Sick
November- Richmond 1/2 Marathon: 1:48:43
November- Turkey Trot 5K: 23:22
December- Christmas Caper 10K: 49:36
December- Fairfax 4-Miler: 30:16

Weather
Nearly all of my races this year have been in extreme weather. I have had horrible luck with weather. The Shamrock marathon was very windy. The London marathon had torrential downpours. The PRR Twilight 4-miler had a 100-degree heat index, and I actually had to walk part of the last mile. The VA Beach half marathon had 93% humidity, and we all know how that turned out. My 10K in December was extremely chilly with a headwind. My 4-miler last night was held during a wind advisory with 20-25 MPH winds, gusting up to about 40 MPH. The best weather was probably during the GW Parkway Classic 5K. But I was injured during that one!

2009 Goals
Basically, my main goal is to qualify for the Boston Marathon. The 1130 miles that I ran from July-December will hopefully get me there when I make my attempt in a few weeks. If not, I may try again in early May, or just wait until the fall.

I'd also like to run 1978 miles, because that was the year I was born.

And most importantly, my goal is to remain injury free.