A Race Done Right: Semper Fi 5K

As the title of this post indicates, I had a good morning at my 4th consecutive Semper Fi 5K. Unfortunately, this race will not be put on in future years, so it was also my last. Here's some history:

2016: 21:05 (Heavy rain, 55 degrees)
2017: 20:17 (Cloudy, 60 degrees)
2018: 20:40 (Very humid, 68 degrees)

I didn't have a lot of confidence going into this race. Even though I have been running well on cool, non-humid days, the humidity has been killing me on other days. I ran 19 miles last Saturday in very

humid conditions, and it resulted in me feeling completely drained for the next three days. I had to take off work on Monday because I felt so tired.

I did not run at all on Monday, ran a very easy 4 miles on Tuesday, and was feeling better again by Wednesday for 8 miles. But after that, it was time to taper down for the 5K. Suffice it to say, I went into this race very well rested and recovered. I got plenty of sleep this week and did not run very much.

Yesterday morning, I was still unsure of how I would approach the race. I was seriously paranoid of getting sick again by over-doing it in the humidity. But, the forecast was calling for 75% humidity, which isn't that bad. My coach suggested that I race it full out and see what I could do. So I told myself, okay, go ahead and race it!

Before the Race
I woke up at around 5:00, had my usual bagel and peanut butter and headed out the door with Greg at 7:00. Greg did not run this race because he's resting up for a marathon next weekend. (I'm running the same marathon, but wanted to do the 5K anyway. More on that later!)

Our plan was to meet up with Cheryl at 7:45 at the start line, but fortuitously she ended up driving directly behind us on the highway! She followed us to the parking lot, where we prepared for the race. The parking lot is almost a mile away from the start line, so we jogged there for our warm up, and I drank my Generation UCAN along the way. At the start line, we met up with some other friends and then continued the warm up. All in all, I warmed up for 2.5 miles. Then, I did some drills: high knees and B skips. As I was doing the drills, I told myself that while I was running, I needed to focus on quick turnover and pushing forward.

At the start line, I started to size up the competition. In 2017 and 2018, I was third place female. This year, it looked like it would be hard to keep that title. It seemed like a lot of fast women were lined up near the front. In particular, a woman named Kimi, who I met a few months ago, who I knew was running 5Ks really fast right now. I didn't have a goal time in mind, but I wanted to push myself hard, and I figured I would be happy with anything in the low 6:30's for a pace. It ended up being 64 degrees with higher than forecast humidity, so I thought a PR (sub-19:58) would be unlikely. Plus, the sun was coming out and warming things up. That wasn't supposed to happen!

Mile 1: 6:31
The race started and I started to recite a mantra immediately: Relax and push forward. I hadn't

Mile 1: Photo by Greg Clor

planned on using this mantra, but during my warm-up drills, the idea of pushing forward really struck a chord with me. So I recited it over, and over, and over again. Kimi was about 5 seconds ahead of me, and I wasn't surprised. She had recently set a few 5K PRs so she was a fast one!

I learned from the Pike's Peek 10K last month that I definitely DO want to monitor the Garmin. In fact, when I do my training runs, I sometimes speed up during the last 0.1 of each mile, just to get that mile split down to "look" better on paper and give me confidence. I saw my friend Allison cheering for me, and that really pepped me up.

At 0.9 into the race, I told myself to push a little harder to get that first mile split down. Doing this allowed me to catch up with Kimi, so that at mile marker 1, we were right next to each other. My Garmin beeped 6:31 which I was thrilled with, because up until that point, my average pace had been around 6:35. My strategy worked.

Mile 2: 6:37
I passed Kimi and continued to tell myself, relax and push forward. It was hard, but I felt strong and I felt like I still had a lot to give. I told myself to just get to the turnaround running strong and then the way back would be mentally easier.

Mile 2, photo by Allison Rainey

At the turnaround, I was able to see that two women were ahead of me. The first one was way ahead of me. There would be no catching her. The second one was about 10 seconds ahead of me, wearing a long-sleeved shirt. I don't know how people can race in long sleeves when it's 64 degrees out. I figured I might be able to catch her, but I wasn't going to make a move quite yet. She was still a good bit ahead of me, and I'd have to speed up a lot.

This mile was fun because a few of my co-workers were running the race, and they all cheered me on from the other side of the course as they were running out. I also saw Allison again shortly before mile marker 2.

Once again, at 1.9 miles, I told myself to push a bit harder to get the split time down, and it worked: 6:37. Previously, I had been around 6:40. Mile 2 is always the slowest mile of this race, so I wasn't worried that it was slower than the first mile. Particularly since I still felt good.

Mile 3: 6:30
This last mile is when it started to get really, really hard! I kept repeating the mantra: relax and push forward. Every time a negative thought would creep into my head, I replaced it with the mantra. Racing is much more fun when you have a mantra instead of visualizing yourself stopping! Of course

The last 0.1

the urge to stop is strong in every race because I am always pushing hard and hurting.

With about half a mile to go, I realized I was closing the gap on the woman with the long-sleeves. I didn't want to surge too soon, so I told myself to simply stay strong because I was closing the gap at my current pace. With 0.3 to go, I was still uncertain if I was going to be able to pass her. With 0.2 to go, I made my move. I sprinted as hard as I possibly could. I told myself I could slow down later if I had to but as I passed, I wanted to do it so quickly that she would not try to come with me. And it worked. I passed her right before mile marker 3 and she didn't attempt to follow.

The Finish
According to my Garmin, I ran 0.13 miles at a pace of 5:25 as I made my way to the finish. My official time was 20:21, and second place female.

I was soooo happy to have finished second! And my time was faster than expected too! I saw Kimi come through and then I met up with Greg to watch Cheryl and Kristin come through. I also met up with a few co-workers, as I was officially part of my company's team. Then we cooled down for just over a mile before the awards ceremony.

Final Thoughts and Stats
If you read my Pike's Peek report, I listed a few things that I learned that I wanted to improve upon for next time. And thankfully, I took those learnings to heart and ended up running a race I was happy with today:

• My mantra really worked, as it kept me focused and positive
• I was happy with my strategy for passing that woman with just 0.1 mile left to go
• I was able to break the race down into "chunks" making it mentally easier
• I felt good afterwards - not beat up and broken down
• This race is tied for my 3rd fastest 5K ever (and it was warm!)
• I placed 2nd out of 449 women

Using the McMillan calculator, this 20:21 is almost the equivalent of the 42:20 10K I ran at Pike's Peek. But, Pike's Peek was 7 degrees cooler and the course was net downhill. And I didn't feel like I ever truly dialed into race mode at the 10K. Today, I was "on" and I had the fire! 

Up Next

I'm running the Sugarloaf Marathon next weekend! I originally registered for it last October as my goal race for the spring, but then I pivoted to Shamrock. So it's not my goal race, but I am going to race it and see what I can do. Right now, the forecast shows the race being 57 degrees and sunny by the end (which is why it wasn't my goal race) but hopefully it gets cooler between now and next Sunday.

Finishing with a smile!

Trusting the Process and Beating the Heat

In my previous blog post from last weekend, I wrote:

Since the majority of my workouts this cycle have been in warm weather, it's difficult to know if I am any fitter than I was for my Myrtle Beach training cycle. My times for the workouts are almost identical, if not slower.  I don't have a tuneup race or a workout that has made me think "wow- I've made a jump in fitness." Rather, the theme has been trusting the process, cranking out the workouts as prescribed, and hoping that my 7:27 goal marathon pace is realistic without any evidence. 

I didn't have to wait very long for my evidence. And it came on a day when I least expected it.

Thursday, Sept. 28

It was 72 degrees on Thursday morning, and I was scheduled to run my hardest workout of the week. The workout was 2 miles at half marathon pace, 5 minutes recovery, 4 x 1-mile at 10K pace, with 3-minute recovery jogs in between. Not an easy workout by any means! Because it was so warm (at the end of September nonetheless!) I briefly considered moving the workout to Friday, when it was forecast to be 54 degrees. I've moved workouts around before due to weather conditions. Ultimately, I decided not to move it because I had a 20-miler scheduled for Saturday, and I wanted to give my legs a day to recover. It had also been almost a week since my last hard effort, so I felt like I really needed to put in some quality miles.

I woke up, drank a serving of Generation UCAN, got dressed in a sports bra and shorts, and was off to do the workout. My mindset was that I was going to run this based on effort and not stress about the paces. I had performed this exact same workout seven weeks prior in the heat, so hopefully I would be a bit faster and that would give me somewhat of a confidence boost. But effort was definitely the focus.

I ran the exact same route as I had run in early August-- the same route I typically use for hard efforts on the road. It's mainly flat, with some inclines and declines here and there. Nothing more extreme than 10 feet per mile gain or loss. I started out running, the first half marathon pace mile in 7:03. I remembered that I had run it in 7:05 last time, so I was tracking pretty similar. It felt tough to settle into this pace, but once I did, it was "comfortably hard." I settled in and ended up running 6:48 for the second mile. Wow!

As I jogged my five-minute recovery, I realized that I felt pretty good, and that my second mile was a lot faster than it had been in August- 6:48 as opposed to 7:00. Now it was time to crank out the 4 x 1-mile at 10K pace. I ran the first mile, which was the hardest because it was a net incline. 6:38. Wow, okay! Faster than expected. As I jogged my three-minutes recovery I was both delighted and worried that I had over-run it and would fall off at the end of the workout. But that didn't happen. The second mile at 10K effort was 6:30. And then 6:22! And 6:28 for the last mile. So, these miles averaged 6:30, and my 10K PR pace is around 6:43, and that's in cool weather. When I ran this workout in early August, my average pace for the 10K miles was 6:52.

The average of all six miles was 6:38, which is still faster than my 10K pace! In 72 degrees. This was the workout that I had been waiting for. The workout that was my "evidence" that the training was actually working. Up until this point, I felt like I was flying blind. I was unsure if my 7:27 goal marathon pace was realistic. And now I am thinking that 7:27 might actually be conservative.

Lesson learned: trusting the process works. And I'm so glad I didn't move the workout to Friday with cooler weather. Running those paces in the heat was exactly the confidence booster I needed, and it happened when I least expected it. Best of all, I didn't feel all that tired afterwards. I've felt a lot more beat up after other workouts than this one. I felt great, and ran my uphill cool down in the 8:30's.

Here's a snapshot of my week:

Monday: 8.2 miles easy at 8:34 average

Tuesday: 11.3 miles at 8:01 average. My coach advised me to run this at a pace of around 8:00, which is the fast end of my easy range. I had done this same run a few weeks back and my legs had begun to tire during the last three miles. This week, my legs felt strong throughout without tiring at all.

Wednesday: 6.9 miles easy at 8:41 average

Thursday: 11.1 miles
This was the workout detailed above, plus warm up and cool down.

Friday: 8.2 miles easy at 8:33 average
Amazingly cool weather, as was forecast!

Saturday: 20 miles at 8:15 average

Saturday, Sept. 30

My coach suggested that I run this at a pace of 8:15, and then speed up to around 7:50 for the last few miles. I ended up running an 8:15 pace without even trying-- it felt like my natural easy pace in the cooler temps! I ran the last three miles at 7:46, 7:53, 7:52. I faced a 20 mph sustained headwind for the final two miles, so the effort level was more in line with a 7:20 pace. But I was determined to keep pushing and run those miles as close to 7:50 as possible.

Sunday: 3.4 miles recovery at 9:21 average

Total Mileage for the Week: 69

Here is a snapshot of my marathon training so far. I've run 60+ miles every week for the past six weeks and I'm still feeling great. Fingers crossed that this continues and that the summer heat has gone away for good! Only five more weeks until race day!

Windy 10K: A "Process" Race

This afternoon I ran the Ringing In Hope 10K.  I ran this race last year and it was my second-fastest 10K ever (aka a hilly 10K PR). This year, I knew I wasn't going into it as well trained. Last year, I had been

Ringing In Hope 2012

logging 50-mile weeks throughout December, and this year I have averaged in the upper 30's. I would love to be in the same shape now that I was back then, but recovery from back-to-back marathons took awhile so I didn't have time to ramp up like I did last year.

I call this race a "process" race because it wasn't going to be about speed or time. It was going to be about pushing myself, running based on feel (not looking at the Garmin) and finishing strong. I also focused on hydration in the days leading up to the race and nutrition the day of-- which was a challenge for a 1:00pm race. Most importantly, I was running this race for the sake of fun and tradition. Greg and I have been doing this race since it started back in 2010. 

I didn't really know where I was fitness-wise but I was hopeful that I could break 47:00 and fall within a minute of my time from last year.

Before the Race

I kept going back and forth about what to wear. Shorts or capris? The forecast was for 43 degrees and 16 MPH winds, with a "real feel" of 35. If it hadn't been for the wind, I would have gone with shorts. But I didn't want my legs to be too cold and stiff, so I opted for the CW-X capri pants with a short-sleeved Capital Area Runners shirt. 

I looked back at last year's blog to see what I ate and when. This is where keeping a blog really comes in handy! Since I had raced so well last year, I figured I would eat the same thing at the same time. A bagel when I woke up, and then another bagel with peanut butter about 2 hours before the race. Lots of carbs-- maybe too much. But it worked.

Greg and I arrived at the race, picked up our bibs and warmed up. We noticed that the race seemed smaller than in previous years, which was good. The 5K started 10 minutes before the 10K. In all of the email correspondence we received beforehand, the 10K was scheduled to start 15 minutes after the 5K. But they must have realized that this could result in the 5K winner running into a finish line that was packed with 10K starters, since the start line and finish line are the same. In any event, we started 10 minutes after the 5K.

We did a quick warmup, lined up and were running a few minutes later.

Miles 1-2 (7:26, 7:25)

My plan was to not look at my Garmin and race by feel. Since I didn't know what kind of shape I was in and because it was so windy, I didn't want to be married to a particular pace. I know this course like the back of my hand. I knew to expect a long (about 1/2 mile) hill in the first mile and then a fast mile 2. The race started off well, I felt strong and I felt like I was putting forth the appropriate amount of effort. During the second mile, I started running into 5K walkers and joggers. This was annoying, but I knew to expect it. Weaving through small children and walkers was mentally exhausting disrupting to my rhythm, but I did my best to just plow through, keeping my eye on other 10K runners who were going at the same pace as me.

Approaching the finish line

Miles 3-4 (7:44, 7:45)

Mile 3 was tough. This was directly into a headwind and up a hill. Dirt and gravel and stuff came flying at my face and I wasn't wearing sunglasses. It was definitely a physical and mental battle. I knew I was slowing down, but it didn't bother me. I just focused on doing the best I could, knowing that I would soon turn around and not have the strong wind gusts. During the 4th mile, things really thinned out and there were only two other people in my vicinity- both men. Usually I try to pass women in the second half of races as they are my competitors, but there were no women to be seen.

Miles 5-6 (7:26, 7:54, 6:33 pace for the 0.22)

Me and the two guys leap frogged these miles. I kept expecting that they would pull ahead because they were guys, but they didn't. I held my own with them until that last final hill, once again into a headwind. I just couldn't push through it as fast as they could and I let them finish about 5-10 seconds ahead of me. I kept wishing that a mantra would pop into my head like it normally does, but it didn't. I was having a conversation with myself instead, which is fine, but I think I do better if I repeat a mind-numbing mantra over and over. Anyway, the last thing you want at the end of a 10K is a long hill with a 15 MPH headwind. I slowed down, but I stayed strong.

The finish and beyond

In retrospect, I wish I would have looked at my Garmin leading up to the finish line. I was right on the

verge of 47:00 and if I had known that, I think I could have motivated myself to be a few seconds faster. I definitely ran the race as fast as I could until that point, but seeing numbers towards the end of a race always motivates me to pull out every last drop of strength. 

Official finish time was 47:03 (avg. 7:34 pace), which was good for 12th overall female out of 202. I usually win an age group award at this race, but this year my age group was particularly competitive. If I was in my 20's I would have gotten first place, or in my 40's I would have gotten second place. But that's okay- I can't control who shows up and how old they are!

I'm kind of neutral about this race. I am not thrilled, but I am not disappointed. I am satisfied that I ran the best race I could in windy conditions. And it's always fun to keep with traditions. In terms of "process" I did everything right except for maybe I should have peaked at the Garmin at the end. If I can repeat this process when I am better trained and the conditions are more favorable, I know I'll be racing extremely well. I performed to the best of my ability given my preparation (training) and the windy conditions. And that's really all I can ever ask for!

As I look ahead to 2014, I see a lot of question marks. The year feels very uncertain to me for some reason, and I guess I am okay with that. I don't know the extent to which this newish job and long commute will affect my marathon training and how I will be able to balance running, commuting, working, and spending time with Greg. Running used to be front and center in my life and in my mind. And now it's taking up much less space. Supposedly that's a good thing in terms of being more well-rounded and ironically performing better. I guess I'm just adjusting the change.

Happy New Year to my blog readers! I've thankfully had time over the holidays to read some of your blogs, and I hope the continue following them in the future.

Chicago Marathon Race Report

Greg and I ran the Chicago marathon yesterday, and it was truly an unforgettable experience.

Background and Training
I was injured for the entire month of July and was unable to run. I did, however, cross train by using the elliptical, pool running, and swimming. I spent the first two weeks of August run-walking as my shin recovered from its stress reaction. It wasn’t until the third week of August that I was able to resume somewhat normal training.

For me, a normal training cycle would be twice as long, and the mileage would go up to about 55-60.

My weekend long runs were as follows: 12, 16, half marathon, 20, 16, 12.

I knew this wasn’t an ideal marathon training cycle, and if I wanted to run a fast time, I should wait to run Richmond in November. However, I was already registered for Chicago and I’ve learned that running a satisfying marathon doesn’t have to mean setting a PR. I knew I would be able to train enough to get me to the finish line, so I decided to go for it.

Chicago has been on my marathon bucket list for awhile, Greg was running it, and I didn’t want to miss out just because I wasn’t in the best shape of my life. Plus, I knew from experience that I could run well on a short cycle and relatively low mileage. In 2008, I ran the Shamrock marathon on 7-8 weeks of training and set a five-minute PR. Chicago would be a fantastic opportunity to focus on goals other than a finish time, and still feel satisfied and accomplished.

So, what would success look like for me?  Here is what I mapped out:

• Have fun
• Sleep well in the week leading up to the race
• Start slow, finish fast
• Prevent stomach issues
• Have a good nutrition/hydration plan and stick to it
• Create a marathon playlist for my iPod that would get me in “the zone”
• Soak up the full Chicago marathon experience
• If something didn’t go well, learn from it and not beat myself about it
• Get through the taper without feeling like a crazy person
• Not compare my performance/time to other people’s
• Run somewhere between 3:40-4:00, adjusting for the weather if necessary.

While some of these things seem basic (and were never on my goals list before) I’ve realized that these things are true challenges for me. Having fun is actually an accomplishment, and so is sleeping well. Someone else’s goals list might look completely different. These were my goals because they have historically been a challenge for me and I knew I needed to work on them to become a better runner.

Before The Race
Greg and I flew out on Saturday morning and arrived in Chicago just after lunch time. We headed to the hotel, which was conveniently located just 3-4 blocks from the start/finish line. We were looking forward to a logistically easy race, in comparison to New York, where you have to wake up over 4 hours before the race starts to get to the start line, and sit there freezing for 2 hours before the race even begins. It was nice to be so close to the start/finish and not have to worry about finding transportation to and from the race.

Chicago offered free shuttle bus service to the expo from four different locations throughout the city. One of

Chicago Marathon Expo

these locations was a half mile from our hotel and gave us the opportunity to walk through millennium park. The buses were running frequently, so we didn’t have to wait for one to arrive. The expo was also a huge improvement over New York. The NY expo was so crowded that you couldn’t enjoy it, and there was definitely no free transportation to get there. In NY, I ended up with a men’s medium race shirt, since they had run out of my size, whereas in Chicago, they handed me a bag with the shirt size I registered for already inside of it.  I was super impressed with how organized the whole process was, and there were no lines at any time.  Greg and I didn’t spend too much time at the expo, as we knew it wasn’t a good idea to do a lot of walking the day before the race.

We had dinner at Petterino’s- a restaurant just a few blocks away in the theater district that had some local flare. I ordered my standard—pasta with chicken and marinara sauce and it was really good! The place was swarming with runners and theater goers. On the walk back to our hotel, we noticed theaters and shops that we would be running past the next morning.

During the course of the day, I had about 5 SaltStick Caps and a lot of water. This was new for me and Greg was worried that it would mess me up because you aren’t supposed to do new stuff the day before a marathon. But I had used those pills during training and they only seemed to help—not hurt. The ingredients were pretty mild and each pill contained less than 5% of the daily recommended amount of sodium, potassium, etc. I’ve had heat exhaustion issues in the past and seeing black spots after races has become the norm for me. My hypothesis was that I was drinking enough water, but not getting the electrolytes to go with it. And when I would try drinking coconut water, G2 or pedialyte—these just didn’t work. And the G2 upset my stomach during the B&A marathon. So, these SaltStick caps seemed like the answer.

We got back to our hotel, relaxed, and went to sleep. In terms of the sleep goal, I had slept really well in the week leading up to the race. This hasn’t happened for me in years. Last March, I slept horribly before B&A and it impacted my race. I’ve actually been sleeping really well for the past few months, despite starting a new and very stressful job. I think it’s because at some point in July I realized that it was ME who was putting all this pressure on myself, and it was totally un-necessary. It seems pretty simple, but coming to the realization that I can do whatever I want with my life and run whatever races I want in whatever times I want was completely liberating. I’ve felt like a different person ever since.

Race morning arrived and Greg and I did our standard routine. Ate our standard meal, got dressed, pinned

On the way to the start corrals

on our bibs, got our gels situated etc. We both decided to carry water, and fill it up periodically throughout the race.  As for nutrition and hydration, my plan was as follows: 1 SaltStick cap with breakfast and 4 during the race, starting at mile 3 and every 6 miles after with plenty of water. For nutrition, I would take 3 Honey Stinger gels starting at mile 5.5 and then switch to the chews for the end, because I thought they would be easier on my stomach at that point. (I guess I could write an entire blog on this topic, so I’ll stop there!)

I wrote on my arm the miles when I planned to take the SaltStick caps and the gels/chews, so I wouldn’t have to think about it during the race. When you are hurting at the end of a marathon, it can be difficult to remember the simplest of things!

The weather was sunny and in the mid to upper 50’s. Even though many were saying that this was "ideal weather," I’ll admit that this forecast made me a little nervous. If there is no cloud cover and the sun is directly on me, I've found that anything above 55 will feel hot and make me feel less energized. Earlier this year I bonked in a 10K that was in the low 60's and sunny. However, I ultimately knew there was nothing I could do about the weather, so I tried to think positive and not "expect" that this would hurt my race.

Greg and I left our hotel about 40 minutes before the start of the race and made our way to our starting corral. For Chicago, you have to “qualify” for the first 4 corrals- A, B, C and D.  Greg and I were in corral C thanks to some speedy half marathons we had run earlier this year. When we got there, we chatted with some other runners, and before we knew it, it was time to start.


Miles 1-5
Greg and I ran the first mile together and the experience of starting out with all those people in the city of Chicago was so cool. One of my goals was to soak it all up and enjoy the experience, and I made this my focus for these early miles. Instead of focusing on my pace and finish time, like I would previously do, I was instead focused on the race atmosphere, which relaxed me.

The marathon is the only race distance where I listen to music. It helps get me out of my head, and I find that good music can get me into a “zone” and enhance the adrenaline high. I carefully selected the songs and playlist order for this race, and I did the same for Greg.

I knew that my Garmin wouldn’t be working during these miles because of all the tall buildings, so I manually pressed the lap button at the mile markers to track my splits. I needed to make sure I wasn’t starting to quickly. My plan was to start at around an 8:55 pace and speed up from there.

Mile 1: 8:55
Mile 2: 8:54
Mile 3: 8:56
Mile 4: 8:37
Mile 5: 8:49

Miles 6-10
This is where I settled into the race and my confidence began to build. I wasn't planning on speeding up all that much, but I just naturally started going faster and it felt great. I didn't look at my Garmin that much-- mainly just when I saw a mile marker.

The music contributed to my elevated mood. Panic! At The Disco released a new CD on Tuesday, and so I put the entire thing on my playlist, starting at around mile 6. "Miss Jackson" is my favorite song from the CD so I played it four times in a row, thinking this song is working for me, might as well just keep it going. I looked at the numbers on my arm and at my water bottle. I planned to take my second honey
stinger gel at mile 11.5, so I needed to fill up my bottle. I stopped at a water station and started pouring cups into my bottle. The cups were literally only 1/4 full, so this took much longer than I wanted. Ultimately, I didn't fill the bottle up completely and decided I would just stop again when the bottle got low.

This didn't really feel like a race to me. It felt like I was just running in a big city with a ton of other people,

and with people all around me cheering. It was semi-surreal. I could hear the cheering, but I could also hear my music, so the whole thing just gave me this runner's high. Having fun? Check!

Mile 6: 8:39
Mile 7: 8:40
Mile 8: 8:51
Mile 9: 8:48
Mile 10: 8:52 (filled up the water bottle)

Miles 11-15
I actually think these miles were my favorites. It was at this point that I knew I wasn't going to have anxiety issues, and that the heat hadn't gotten to me (so far). I had imagined that the course wouldn't be shaded but thankfully, about 3/4 of it was shaded. When I got to the halfway point I recognized it as the area I used to stay in when I worked at my previous company. I used to go to Chicago regularly for business so it was cool to be in a familiar area at the halfway point.

I sped up unintentionally because I was feeling so good. I remembered back to the 3 marathons I ran in 2007, and how they were all very well executed. I remembered that my legs didn't hurt at the halfway point and everything felt pretty good up until mile 17-18. I started comparing this race to those races and realized I felt exactly how I wanted to.

When I crossed the halfway mark in 1:55:06, I realized that I could probably negative split and finish under 3:50. I wasn't sure by how much, but I told myself that the warmup was over and now it was time to race a half marathon. I wanted to see how fast I could do it.

I continued to execute my hydration and nutrition plan, drinking water about once a mile, and taking my SaltStick caps at the pre-determined times. During mile 15, I decided I would have one of the volunteers fill my water bottle from the big jug to make things go faster. Unfortunately, he was a very slow pourer, so I only had him fill it up 2/3 before moving on.

Mile 11: 8:34
Mile 12: 8:34
Mile 13: 8:15
Mile 14: 8:24
Mile 15: 8:46 (filled up the water bottle)

Miles 16-20
I still felt great during these miles. I was so excited because I knew the race was going to end well for me.

At this point, I had all the confidence in the world that I would finish strong, as long as I remembered to keep pushing during those final miles. I had plenty of energy, the sun wasn't bothering me and I was passing people like crazy.

Passing was fun, but also exhausting. I had to focus on where I was going to pass so as to not run into people. The race was still very crowded so I had to carefully maneuver around people. Ultimately, this would result in a Garmin distance of 26.47 miles, which I knew, but I wanted to keep running at the pace I felt good at, and that meant a lot of weaving. I actually saw some of the people who had passed me during the first few miles of the race. I also easily passed the 3:50 pace group and felt excited to have done so. Usually when I see the 3:50 pace group it's because I have hit the wall and they are passing me.

It's a flat course, so in looking at the splits, you can tell which miles were shaded and which were not!

Mile 16: 8:36
Mile 17: 8:18
Mile 18: 8:30
Mile 19: 8:17
Mile 20: 8:30

Miles 21- Finish
I was in the home stretch! I noticed that my stomach felt really good, which is rare for this late in the game, and if I had brought another honey stinger gel, I would have taken it. But since I packed the chews in anticipation of stomach distress, I had 4-5 of those instead. It was nice having everything written on my arm. I remember looking down at one point thinking do I have any gels or caps I need to take soon? All the math had already been done so I could just relax and focus on running.

I started thinking how happy I was to finally be running a solid marathon. I hadn't felt this good at mile 22 since 2008. I kept on passing people, feeling strong. My quads started to hurt at around mile 20, but my energy level was good. I told myself to just deal with the quad pain and that it would be over soon. During these miles, I had my favorite Panic! At The Disco CD going-- A Fever You Can't Sweat Out. I have been obsessed with this CD lately and I played some of these songs multiple times during that last stretch.

I finally ditched my water bottle during mile 24 and decided that if I needed more water I would just drink from a cup. I really wanted the marathon to be over at this point and realized this was a sign that I was running an optimized race. You don't want it to feel easy at the end-- it's supposed to hurt. I took this as a good sign and continued to push past people as I made my way to the finish.

I think I hit 26.2 miles at around 3:45-3:46, but due to all of my weaving, the finish was still a ways off in the distance. As I approached it, I noticed that I would be on the border of 3:47 and 3:48. I wanted that 3:47 so badly! This is where looking at the Garmin can be very motivating. I gave it everything I had at the very end, but there was a surprise hill just before the finish line, so it wasn't fast enough to get me my 3:47.

Mile 21: 8:37
Mile 22: 8:47
Mile 23: 8:42
Mile 24: 8:36
Mile 25: 8:52
Mile 26: 8:39
The last 0.47: 8:01 pace.

Looking at these numbers, I wish I would have kicked it into that higher gear sooner and shaved 10 seconds of off my time to get down to 3:47, but it doesn't change the fact that I still kicked butt and set a PR!

Official Results
The Garmin read 26.47 at a pace of 8:37. Here are the official results and splits:

I'm very proud that from the 40K mark to the finish, I ran some of my fastest paces. This is a negative split of just over two minutes, which is what I think is ideal for marathon performance.

First half: 1:55:06
Second half: 1:53:04

After the Race
Greg and I found each other shortly after the race, which was a relief because we didn't know if we would be able to do that among the large crowd of people. He struggled in his race, but still ended up with a very solid 3:43. I wasn't too far behind him! We hobbled back to our hotel and relaxed for awhile before going back out for our celebratory Chicago pizza.

Final Thoughts
This was a very good race for me on many levels. I would actually consider it a landmark race, as I haven't run this well since 2008, and I have run 8 marathons since then (not to mention the 3 I started, but did not finish).

The most important aspect of this marathon was that I went into it with the right attitude. I knew that I wasn't in as good of shape as I had been for most of my previous marathons, and yet I still had the confidence that focusing on "the process" of running would yield a favorable outcome. I didn't speculate as to what my time would be, and time wasn't really the focus here.

It's a valuable lesson because the next time I run a marathon with a solid training cycle under my belt, I will know that the feeling of accomplishment can come from so many areas other than a time. And I won't think that my training was wasted if something goes wrong and I don't do well.

While it may seem that I lowered my expectations for this race, I actually raised them. I was focused on areas that were traditionally a challenge for me and I truly embraced the process. I "expected" that I wasn't going to come down hard on myself and I was determined to make Chicago a great experience for myself no matter what.

I started this race conservatively, and didn't force myself into a narrow window of finish times that I had to hit. I went into the race with the attitude that I would try my best, stick to my plan, and enjoy the ride. And in the process of doing all of that, I just happened to run my strongest marathon since 2008, setting a PR of 45 seconds. An unofficially, I actually set a 26.2-mile PR of about three minutes.

Once I changed my mindset about my expectations, the rest was easy. Sleep was easy. Having fun was easy. Enjoying the entire weekend with Greg was easy. And yet this was major progress for me, so I consider them huge wins.

In terms of what I would do differently for next time, the only thing I can think of is just being more strategic about passing people, so that I don't weave myself into a 26.5-mile marathon.

I couldn't have asked for a better experience and I have a renewed love of marathon running.

B & A Trail Marathon Report: Adversity, Anxiety, and Attitude

This morning I ran a marathon! And I finished! It was my 14th marathon since I started running them in 2006.

Those of you who follow this blog know that I have struggled with the marathon for the past five years. Heat, hypothermia, stomach issues and most recently anxiety. In fact I wasn't even able to finish my past two marathons because my anxiety levels were so high. My heart rate soared and my body started to break down before I even got to the halfway point.

Given all of these past struggles, I reset my expectations. Even though I had the most amazing training cycle ever, and I am in the best running shape of my life, I wasn't pushing for a specific time goal. All the "signs" pointed to 3:30-3:35, but being too focused on time has played a major role in my anxiety, so I learned that I had to focus on other things. Primarily- simply running my best race possible in whatever circumstances were handed to me on race day.

Hell Week
(I realize that a good percentage of this "race report" focuses on the pre-race, but for me, that's the biggest challenge in a marathon. Not the race itself, but the buildup. )

Most marathoners are very familiar with the "taper madness" that occurs in the 2-3 weeks before the race. Training volume is down, pre-race jitters settle in and we have all this extra time on our hands. Last week, when I was two weeks out, I had the most relaxed taper week ever. I was actually sleeping 8-9 quality hours a night (my normal is 7 hours, and usually not straight through the night). I felt super relaxed and it didn't feel as if a marathon was approaching.

But then last Sunday night, I suddenly wasn't able to sleep. I've since identified many reasons for why this might have been (daylight savings time affecting my circadian rhythm, the house being too warm, the fact that I bought a new car that day, and the fact that I had slept so much the previous week that my body wasn't tired). Anyway, I tried to just brush it off on Monday and figured I would just make up for lost sleep on Monday night. Well, no, that didn't happen either. I only got 3-4 hours of off and on sleep and during that time I just felt so tortured. I woke up feeling like crap and I started to worry that this was becoming a pattern.  I went to see my sports psychologist, and that helped me a lot.

Finally, on Tuesday night, I slept. It was 7 hours and while I was hoping to make up for Sunday and Monday, I was happy to not have had another tortured night. When I woke up on Wednesday morning, I had this huge knot in my chest. I tried to ignore it, but the more I tired to ignore it, the tighter it got. Greg and I went on a 4-mile run, and my heart rate was elevated by 15 beats per minute. I was running a 8:45 pace, but my heart rate was as if I was running a 7:30 pace. And of course this freaked me out even more, and then I had a downward spiral from there, freaking out about the fact that I had a knot in my stomach and that I was experiencing physical anxiety.

I decided I wasn't even going to run the race. It wasn't worth all this physical anxiety. I was just going to call it quits before I even started. I hadn't expected I would feel like this in the week leading up to the race, and it upset me. I had worked so hard over the past nine months addressing my "perfectionist" attitude about marathons, and yet I was still getting knots in my chest and not sleeping.

After the run, Greg talked me down from my state of distress and I felt much better. Slowly, the knot in my chest went away. The key thing he told me was that my goal wasn't to eliminate anxiety, but to know how to manage it and react when it hit.

Back to the sports psychologist I went and he gave me some great advice on how to focus my thoughts during the next few days.

By Thursday I was feeling better. During my run, my heart rate was elevated by only 5 beats per minute. Still not ideal, but it proved that I was able to lower it from the previous day. Knowing that I had the power to lower it gave me hope and made me feel more in control. I wore the heart rate monitor while running, but I didn't look at the numbers until post-run, which was a good idea. During the run, I stayed focused on the music I was listening to and did everything I could to keep myself positive.

Thursday's run was perhaps just as big of an accomplishment as the marathon itself. Yes, running a marathon is very hard. But for me, being able to manage my anxiety and stay positive when all signs pointed to me having yet another bad marathon experience was huge. I had overcome a major hurdle. Even though it seemed like my anxiety would cause me to have yet another bad marathon experience, I did not let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I fought hard against it and insisted on staying positive.

I had a horrible start to my week, but I was getting back on track instead of continuing the downward spiral.

I slept decently Thursday night, and woke up feeling good on Friday morning.

Packet Pickup, Dinner, Etc.
Once Greg and I left the house, I started to feel excited and even more relaxed. Yes! We had a nice trip to Annapolis, got our bibs, browsed around a few stores and had dinner. I was living in the moment and not stressing or obsessing about the next day.

I met up with a friend and her running club after dinner, and it was awesome to get to chat with her for awhile.

Finally, it was time for bed. I kept waking up every hour and didn't sleep well, but by this point, I didn't think it really mattered. I was in an "I'll take what I can get" mode in terms of sleep. (I'm down by about 15 hours for the week at this point- I sure do hope I sleep tonight!)

Pre-Race
I felt pretty calm before the race. Greg and I got up, I had my typical breakfast, went to the bathroom a lot, and we were off. I kept going back and forth between long sleeves and a singlet with arm warmers. I eventually decided on long sleeves since it was supposed to be 43 and raining for most of the race. There was a 100% chance of rain starting at 11:00 and I didn't want to get hypothermia like I had at a previous rainy marathon. I also wore a hat to keep the water off of my face.

We got to the race about 30 minutes before it started and I went in search of a bathroom, as per usual. The bathrooms were located inside the fitness club that was hosting the race. The line was long, but it moved quickly. My sports psychologist pointed out that I get un-necessarily anxious when the lines are long and I fear not being able to use a bathroom. He told me that I can't control the bathroom line, so instead of focusing on it, I should really just think about whatever I would be thinking about if I weren't in line. So, I started talking to the woman behind me and asked her a bunch of questions about where she lived, where she worked, etc. The time went by quickly and before I knew it, I had only 5 minutes left and I was still in line. Well, instead of letting it bother me and throw me off my game, I just accepted it and headed to the start line without getting to pee.

Greg, who is coming off an injury, was running the first 5 miles with me. Since I know that my anxiety is at its highest early in the race, this was the best time for him to be there. The plan was for us to treat it like a training run and talk as we normally do.

Miles 1-5
Greg and I started slow. I didn't even bother looking at the Garmin for the first mile because I knew it was super slow and was good with that. During mile 2, I found a porta potty and stopped to use it. I didn't worry about how it would affect my time, I just knew it was something that had to be done, so I did it and moved on.

Greg and I really enjoyed these miles. The weather was perfect-- overcast and 43. It was nice to be running in a new area. We even joked about how there were water stops on our training run. And how people on our training run were wearing race bibs. Laughing and chatting away made the miles tick by fast and distracted me from what I was really doing. Greg held my water bottle for me (filled with G2), which was a huge help. I took a Honey Stinger gel at mile 5.

Mile 1: 8:53
Mile 2: 8:59 (includes bathroom stop)
Mile 3: 8:31
Mile 4: 8:36
Mile 5: 8:29

Miles 6-11
These miles were my favorite part of the race. I knew that I was over the initial hump and I was still feeling good, so all signs were pointing toward a strong race. I turned my music on and let it carry me. I got into a groove and everything felt awesome. During mile 6-7 I was chatting with this guy about his race history. I normally would never be so chatty during a race, but I needed all the distractions I could get. Ultimately I went ahead of him because my plan was to speed up after the 10K point. I didn't want the speed up to be like "Okay, it's been 6.2 miles, now is the time to start racing it!" I didn't even want to feel like I was getting faster, I just decided to give a little more energy.

I had a huge smile on my face. I high-fived the little kids, I said thanks to the volunteers, and I just soaked it all in. I just felt so, so happy to be in a marathon where my body was cooperating. The weather was perfect, the course was nice and it was just amazing. This is why I run marathons. I used to get this feeling back in 2006-2007 when I was new to marathons, but ever since I decided I wanted to BQ, I'd taken myself too seriously to high-five the kids or "waste" the energy to thank the volunteers.

Mile 6: 8:35
Mile 7: 8:20
Mile 8: 8:21
Mile 9: 8:26
Mile 10: 8:18
Mile 11: 8:26

Miles 12-18
I took my second gel at mile 11.5. I had been drinking a bottle of G2, and finished it at around this point. I threw the bottle away (actually found a trash can) and I knew I would be getting another one from Greg at mile 12.5. It felt awesome to not be holding a water bottle anymore.

Mile 12.5

Greg was waiting for me where I expected and I breezed by him, taking the second bottle of G2. It was completely full, and I knew I wasn't going to drink the whole thing, so I squirted some out so it wouldn't be as heavy. The music was still motivating me. I was still running strong. There were some minor inclines and declines on the trail, which I knew were subtly impacting my speed, so I didn't get hung up on the Garmin. I was looking at the Garmin about 1-2 times per mile, which is a lot less than I used to do. It was for informational purposes only, and I never let it change what I was doing. Even when it said 8:00 at one point, I just kept on going at the same effort level.

I realized that the paces I was running probably weren't going to get me to a BQ, but I wanted to play it safe given my lack of sleep that week. I wanted to avoid a crash at all costs. And I knew that if I was feeling good, I could just really turn on the gas during the last 10K.

The turn around was at mile 16.5, and there was a big hill. I knew that the course had one major hill, but I didn't know where. And this was it. It felt like a dream to go down the hill, but going back up didn't feel as good. I had actually ditched the water bottle at mile 14, so I was in search of a water stop. I felt myself craving water, which is never good in a race, but I figured one would show up soon enough. Mentally, it felt great to have hit the turnaround point, even though there was that huge hill still ahead of me.


Mile 12: 8:26
Mile 13: 8:31
Mile 14: 8:38
Mile 15: 8:22
Mile 16: 8:18 (fastest mile of the race)
Mile 17: 8:34

Miles 18-23
There was a long-awaited water station at mile 18. I was very thirsty so I quickly gulped down two cups of water. I took my 3rd honey out (which I had ideally wanted at mile 16, but there was no water there) and the minute I put it in my mouth, I felt like I was going to vomit, so I spit it out. After that, I still had the honey on my lips and when I got a taste of it, it made me feel sick.

I was at that water station for about a full minute. Stopping there for so long may have been a mistake because it made me realize that I no longer felt good. And now there was a pain in my chest and I felt like I needed to throw up.

Mile 20, Photo by Greg

The next few miles were just hellish. I went into survival mode. I didn't try to think about what caused it, I just did my best to power through it and prayed that it would go away soon. I kept burping, and each burp felt like a release, but the pain was still there. In retrospect I think a number of things could have contributed. It could have been anxiety-related because it was in the same area where I felt that knot in my chest earlier in the week, it could have been from drinking too much G2 early in the race, and no water. It could have been from gulping down the cups of water too quickly.

Anyway, the unfortunate thing was that I hadn't had any calories since I tossed the G2 at mile 14 and with the way I was feeling, I knew it would be nearly impossible to take any more in.

I knew to expect Greg shortly after mile 20 and I wanted to look good for him. I put on my best game face, but I walked as I approached him, threw down my gloves and my hat, and took a sip of water. The water made me feel like I needed to gag. I didn't even say anything to Greg other than that I couldn't drink the water. I didn't take the water with me, or the Honey Stinger chews. I walked away, and then slowly started to run again.

Meanwhile, the sun had come out! There had been a 100% chance of rain starting at 11:00, and instead of rain, we got sun. My hat had been completely un-necessary and my sleeves were rolled up. The weather was still nice-- I just wasn't dressed for it.

Mile 18: 8:24
Mile 19: 9:40 (includes water stop)
Mile 20: 9:10
Mile 21: 9:21
Mile 22: 9:40
Mile 23: 9:40

Miles 24-Finish
At this point, I told myself "You are going to run to mile marker 24. And then you will run to mile marker 25. And then, marker 26." I didn't think of it as three more miles. I thought of it as manageable chunks of distance. Thinking about it like this was very helpful and gradually, my chest/stomach problem started to dissipate. Instead of getting frustrated and discouraged about how this was impacting my time, I powered through it, determined to have a strong finish. In the past, I think I probably would have given up mentally and turned it into more of a catastrophe than it needed to be. Plus, even though I was struggling I was still passing people.

I don't think anyone passed me from about mile 10 onward. It makes sense because I started on the slow side and then sped up. I was thankful that nobody passed me as I slowed down, because that would have been discouraging.

I looked down at my Garmin and realized I could still PR. My average pace per mile was 8:44 and my PR pace per mile was 8:49. I was determined to get it.

With two miles left to go, I came upon someone who was hanging in there, but obviously going slower than me. I said something encouraging to him as I passed. Before I knew it, he was by my side and we were running together. Yay! I had someone to run with. I kept saying "we got this" and my big smile returned. I knew that things were only going to get better as I felt strong again and my chest pain was now just a minor annoyance.

I can't say enough how great it felt to be feeling strong at the end of a marathon. I haven't had a strong marathon finish since March of 2008. It's been five years. It was euphoric. It didn't matter that my time would be slower than what I was physically capable of. All that mattered was that I was going to finish happy and strong, and that I was pulling someone else with me.

"I see mile marker 26!" I said. I got pumped up, we ran to mile 26 and then I realized if I sprinted I could get under 3:49. I ran that last 0.2 like the end of a 10K and my final kick was awesome. It was so awesome that I felt like I could have kept going. In fact, I think that if the race had been 28 miles, my overall overage pace would have been faster. Ironic, but true, since I had plenty of energy and my legs felt good.

Mile 24: 9:01
Mile 25: 8:55
Mile 26: 8:23
Last 0.2: (7:43 pace)

After the finish
I was actually perfectly coherent and I felt great. I've never felt so good at the end of the marathon. And not once during the entire race did my legs get tired or hurt. This proves that my training paid off and I was truly in shape for a much faster marathon. It's just that I wasn't able to exert the energy I had when I was in so much discomfort. And it's amazing I had the energy that I did given that I hardly drank any water from mile 18 to the finish, and my last calorie intake was mile 11.5.

My time was 3:48:50, good for 3rd female, ages 30-39. It was a small race.

I found Greg and he said "You look much better now than when I saw you last!" I was so happy! I haven't felt so satisfied with a marathon in years!  And the funny thing is, if I would have run a 3:48 last year at this time, I would have been crushed. If I had the exact same race experience, I would have been so upset that I didn't qualify for Boston despite how great my fitness level was and how hard I trained. It wouldn't have mattered that I broke 3:50 for the first time, or that I beat my PR by over 2:00. It would have been a depressing day of "this is so unfair, why can't I just run a good marathon". But not today. I was fulfilled in so many ways. And as for that fitness I built up? It's not going anywhere! I still have the Cherry Blossom 10-miler ahead of me!

We waited around for the awards, which were given pretty quickly. Thankfully, they didn't wait for the 7-hour finishers before giving them out. Normally with a time like mine, I wouldn't expect an age group award. However, being an out-and-back race, I hadn't seen too many women ahead of me. I won a $20 gift certificate to National Running Center. I think I was supposed to get a plaque, too, but I didn't realize that until after I left so I hope they mail it to me.

Final takeaways
The age group award and the PR were just the gravy in this race. I am most proud of how I conquered my pre-race anxiety and got to the start line feeling relaxed. This resulted in a strong, happy finish and an affirmation that I have made some major fitness gains over the past few months. Especially coming back from Mono last summer.

I really hope I never have a "hell week" again during my taper. But if I do, I know now that I can manage the physical anxiety, and that a sleep deficit won't kill my race. I actually felt great physically during the first 18 miles, and again during the last 2.

In terms of lessons learned, I think I need to drink both water and G2 early in the race. Since G2 is a watered down version of Gatorade, I figured it was kind of the same thing, but it's probably not. And also- never trust the weather, even if there is a 100% chance of something! I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I pushed a bit more before the stomach issues. I'm not thinking about that in terms of what I did wrong, but just for next time I would like to have more confidence and be a bit less conservative. This race was not focused on speed or testing my fitness-- it was about refining the process. I've made huge progress and I now know what I need to do next time.

I'm really, really tired right now and I'm looking forward to a relaxing evening.

Setting The Bar

As a "recovering perfectionist" I am learning that I tend to set the bar too high. Previously, I would go into the majority of my races expecting PRs. Unless I was coming off of an injury, or the weather was warm, then I would shoot for a PR and then be disappointed when I didn't get it. I always thought this was a good thing because I wanted to set the bar high. I wanted to push myself. But now I am realizing that pushing oneself doesn't mean setting the bar high for every race in terms of a time goal.

There are three "levels" of performance, according to my sports psychologist. You can run the best race you have in you on race day, and end up in any one of these three areas.

1. You have your "bottom line" which is the range of times you would get if things didn't really go your way. You might expect to fall your bottom line range if the weather were hot, if you were coming off of an injury, if you just didn't "feel it" that day, if your nutrition or hydration were off. There are many reasons why you might run in your bottom line range. 

2. You have a "mid-range" area where if things went well, that's where you'd land. You felt good, the weather was decent, you had trained well, etc.

3. You have an "upper end" area where the PR and beyond lives. This happens when you have an amazing day, everything comes together. You're feeling great, you've trained well, you're well rested going into it, etc.

Of course, there are always the out-liers on the bottom end, like if you injure yourself during the race, or have major digestive issues, etc. That wouldn't be considered part of #1, that would just be an extenuating circumstance, which happens to everyone from time to time.

In a given year, how often can I expect to be at #3? Previously, I was expecting more than 50% of my races to be at #3. This isn't realistic-- at least not for someone who has been running for as long as I have been. For experienced runners who have been running for awhile and are past the point of setting PRs at each race, it's realistic to be at #3 about 20% of the time. My sports psychologist told me that "normal" and "realistic" for experienced runners is 50% at the bottom line, 30% in the mid-range, and 20% at the upper end. He said if you ask elite marathon runners how often they run a marathon that they think is a very strong performance, they will say about 1 in 5. At the end of 2013, if half of my races are at my bottom line, and 30% are in the mid-range, and 20% are at the upper year, then it's been a good year. If I exceed that, then it's been a great year. 

He also said that if he were to interview the first 1,000 finishers of a large race, that probably 20% of them would have set PRs, 30% would have been in their mid-range, and half of them would have been at their bottom line. This was an eye opener for me. I don't think he's lying-- he's been in this profession for over 25 years. So I've been digesting this concept for awhile now and trying to apply it to myself.

This is not to say that I should only try to get a PR in 20% of my races. Rather, to understand that PRs are the exception, not the rule. And I also think the point is that I need to go into a race not trying for a particular time, but to do my best and focus primarily on how I will run the race, not what the result will be. This "setting the bar" is not so much about goal setting, but being realistic about how I review my performances afterwards. The key is that you can run to the best of your ability and land in any one of these three areas. Running the best race you can on a particular day does not necessarily equal a PR, even if you are in the best shape of your life.

In the past, I've always expected my marathons to be at the upper end.  My first six marathons were all PRs and everything went perfectly smoothly. In fact, I exceeded my expectations with every single one of them! Since I know I am capable of running fantastic marathons, I have always expected it out of myself. I figured that if I set the bar any lower than how I performed at my first six, then I would be doing a dis-service to myself. 

This is simply unrealistic and it creates a great deal of pressure, resulting in exactly the opposite of what I want. Going into each marathon, I knew I wouldn't be satisfied unless I was in that "upper end" of performance range, just like I had been for my first six. And as the years went by, I just felt more and more pressure to prove myself. Thus, my marathons have been a very long string of anxiety-related blow ups.

My sports psychologist wanted me to think about what specific ranges of times I would put in each bucket for 2013. The ultimate goal of training is to lower all of the ranges, but this doesn't happen overnight. I shouldn't be revising these buckets every time I race-- I need to be focused on more of the big picture of my running as opposed to any one specific race. Will I run a 3:30 marathon? Absolutely, I know I will. Will it be the next marathon I run? I don't know. I'm focusing now on the bigger picture of my running, and I won't let one race, one day, be the judgement of weeks and months and years of hard work and dedication. 

One of my many new year's resolutions is to set the bar high for myself in a completely different way. Instead of always trying to set PRs with my running I will have extremely high expectations in the areas of:

- Believing in myself and my ability to work hard

- Taking good care of my body

- Keeping running separate from other areas of my life

- Conducting constructive post-race reviews and weekly training reviews

- To have patience

- To compare only to myself-- not to other people

- To just let myself run without judgement

These are by no means easy for me, but they are all within my control. The bar is set for 2013, and I'm looking forward to a happy, healthy year!

Learning From Workouts, Not Judging

I'm really embracing this whole "process focus" thing, and I am loving it. Being process-focused means that you strive to learn from each of your runs, be it a training run or a race. The more you learn, the more confidence you have, the more you can improve, and the more rewarding and enjoyable the whole thing becomes. You have to be willing to try new things and to be looking for the learning-- not the success or the failure.

In this week alone, I've done some solid learning. If I wasn't looking for it, I might have missed it and not felt as good about my training as I do currently.

Intervals: Maybe I DO let the Garmin hold me back
On Tuesday, I ran an interval set of 1600, 1200, 800, 800, 400. On the second 800, I realized that I hadn't pressed the "lap" button on my Garmin, so it was including the recovery jog from the previous 800. This means that I had no idea of what my pace was. I told myself to just push hard and I would be good. Well, at the end of the interval, the coach called out "3:12". Wow. Don't think I have ever run an 800 that fast. Usually I aim for around 3:20.

Maybe my Garmin does hold me back. I never thought it did.

I look at my Garmin during races, but not very often, maybe 2 times per mile. And I usually just take it in as information and I don't make any changes to my effort level. And if I'm going slower than I want to be, I don't let it affect my mindset, I just do the best I can. When I ran the Memphis Half Marathon last December, the Garmin was reading slower than expected for most of the race, but that didn't stop me from putting forth my strongest effort I could muster. In other words, too-slow paces don't psych me out. But maybe too-fast paces do.

I think that with my next race, which is a 10K, I will look at my Garmin only during the first mile, to ensure I don't go out too fast, and then stop looking and focus on running! I might just surprise myself.

Tempo Run: Trust the process
This morning, I ran a 4-mile tempo. Tempo runs are my least favorite training run because you have to push hard and you don't get breaks like you do with intervals. Tempo runs are also where I have the most room for improvement. I haven't done many of them over the past two months, mainly because I have been racing instead. But partially because I wanted to regain my speed quickly and I think intervals produce faster short-term gains.

Well, now I'm focused on long term gains so more tempoing it is. Based on the VO2 max test I had in May, I know that my Lactate Threshold heart rate zone is 172-179. All I need to do is keep my heart rate steady in that zone for the run to be effective. I don't need to hit a certain pace. I just need to complete the planned distance while keeping my heart rate in that range. For longer tempo runs, my heart rate would be at the lower end. For shorter tempos, my heart rate would be at the higher end.

Going into the tempo run this morning, I didn't have a pace goal. My only goal was to keep my heart rate in my LT zone. And hooray for me, I didn't even speculate on what that pace would be. I did my warmup and then started the run. Knowing that I wasn't trying to hit a certain pace took so much pressure off of me. This wasn't a test of my fitness level. This was just part of the "process" that will get me to where I need to be. As a result, I felt more relaxed on this run-- less stressed than when I used to run tempos.

I've always known that workouts aren't "tests" but I would still use them to gauge my fitness level, and be either disappointed or satisfied based on the average pace. Now I know that judging should play no part here. This isn't a test of my fitness level-- it's a workout.

When coming back from mono, I ran in the 10's and even the 11's for the first six weeks. That's where I was fitness-wise and I accepted it. I knew that if I just kept doing it, I would get faster. I didn't push too hard because I was impatient or frustrated. I just did my workouts at a level appropriate for my current fitness level and had faith it would work if I kept at it. Process.

I don't think I trusted the process as much before, or maybe I just wasn't as patient. I ran my tempos by heart rate previously, but there was also a pace that I really wanted to hit. When I did hit it, I would feel awesome all day long. When I didn't hit it, I would get frustrated and question myself. Wondering if I could have run it faster, or maybe I just wasn't in as good of shape as I thought.

The most important thing about a tempo run simply doing it. Greg has always thought that and now I am really embracing it myself. Yes, I knew that doing it was the important thing, but there was also a lot of judgement, speculation, etc. along with it. And now, it's just part of the process. I trust the process. I have proof that running 10-minute miles can lead to 9's which lead to 8's. Even though my tempo run wasn't as fast as where it's been previously, I know that I am getting there-- I'm on the right path.  And that is extremely satisfying.