Indianapolis Monumental Marathon: Pre-Race Thoughts

And just like that, another marathon training cycle is nearly complete!

I ran two hard workouts this week, and now I am officially in "just get to the start line healthy" mode. Because I took three days off to let my Achilles tendons calm down, my schedule shifted so that last weekend's long run was actually on this week's Monday.

Training Wrap Up
The prescribed long run was 16 miles, with the last six starting at marathon pace, and then speeding up depending on how I felt. Now that it was October 23rd, my patience for continued warm and

Still warm and humid in late October

humid training conditions had run out. There is only so long I can "embrace the suck" of this weather when it's late October! It was 62 degrees with 99% humidity, and I could even see the droplets of moisture in the air with my headlamp.

The first 10 miles felt good, so I was optimistic about the last six. But I found that goal marathon pace felt a lot harder than expected. I hit the first one in 7:30, and then even though I pushed harder for the next mile, all I got was a 7:32. Knowing that my goal marathon pace was 7:27, this was disheartening. Determined to speed up as my coach advised, I pushed really hard for the next two miles and was able to pull out a 7:21 followed by a 7:20. With just two miles left to go, I realized I was nearly at my limit. How could 4 miles at goal marathon pace feel so hard?! The 5th mile was slightly downhill for 7:15, and then I really fell apart. My last mile clocked in at 7:28, but I was running at 100% effort level to reach that pace. Afterwards, I felt frustrated and discouraged. With the marathon in two weeks, I could barely run six miles at marathon pace! I'd like to think that this is due to the humid weather, but of course I don't really know for sure.

During my Myrtle Beach training cycle, I ran several marathon pace workouts that gave me the confidence I needed to execute on race day. During this cycle, I have not successfully run my goal marathon pace during a workout.

BUT! I have run much faster than expected during cool weather tempo runs, and even during a warm one. Thursday's workout restored my confidence that 7:27 is a realistic marathon pace. The prescribed run was 3 tempo miles, 2 tempo miles, 1 tempo mile, all with 4 minutes recovery jog. I was supposed to start at the slow end of my tempo range and speed up throughout the run. And I did it!  7:07, 7:02, 6:55, 6:48, 6:46, 6:41. It felt "comfortably hard" like a tempo should feel, and none of these miles felt like race effort.

Friday was an easy 60 minutes and yesterday was an easy 90 minutes. My legs still felt a little sore from Thursday's workout while I ran the 90 minutes, and I am hoping that they will bounce back to 100% in time for the marathon.

Here's a snapshot of my full cycle:

My coach actually prescribed seven additional miles for this week (two 30-minute recovery jogs on Tuesday and Sunday) but in the spirit of letting my Achilles Tendons calm down, I skipped them.

Race Goals
As I mentioned above, I really wish I had been able to execute more successful marathon pace runs during this cycle. I also wish I had run a tune-up race that had indicated where my fitness was at. But alas, I have neither of these, so I will have to rely on my speedy tempo runs as confidence.

The fact that my legs felt sore during yesterday's run was, admittedly, a bit discouraging as well. Typically in training I can run a six-mile hard workout on Thursday and follow it up with a 16+ mile run two days later and feel fine.

My "A" goal time is sub-3:18 because I think I am capable of it. So does my coach. However, I would be elated to simply break 3:20. Right now the forecast is looking decent, although not ideal. (Ideal for me is high 30s). It's about as warm as I'd want for it to be so if it trends any warmer between now and race day, I will not be a happy camper.

In terms of non time-based goals, I want to run a smart race where I don't go out too fast, but I go out fast enough so that I'm not having to run ridiculously fast during the last 10K. I also want to focus on enjoying the race, executing my nutrition and hydration plan, and pushing as hard as possible during those final miles, even though I know it will hurt.

I'm not really nervous or anxious about this race. And it actually doesn't even feel like a taper. I'm just excited to get to Indianapolis and kick off race weekend. I'm also really looking forward to having more free time once I'm not marathon training so my life in general doesn't feel as rushed.

2014 Year in Review

This morning, my "TimeHop" app showed me the blog I wrote 4 years ago, which was a recap of my 2010 year of running. I thought it would be fun to do a comparison of 2010 to 2014, and write the blog in the same style.

Here is the 2010 year-in-review blog.

Yearly Mileage: 2134

In 2014, I ran a total of 2134 miles. This is 422 more miles than in 2013, when I ran 1712 miles. This is primarily due to the fact that I was injured in 2013, and I was not injured in 2014. 

In 2010, I ran 2136 miles, so I missed setting a yearly mileage PR by two miles. I was aware of this, but decided to stick to my training plan, and not "find" an extra two miles in the last week.

In 2010, 580 miles were on a treadmill and the rest were outdoors (thanks to the blizzard of 2010) 

In 2014, 149 miles were on a treadmill and the rest were outdoors.

2014 Weekly mileage

My highest mileage month was August with 229 miles. My lowest mileage month was May with just 80 miles, due to marathon recovery and hoping to finally rid myself of a nagging hamstring issue.

I started working with a new coach in July, and he's helped me increase my mileage without getting injured. In the past, I never knew exactly how to spread the miles throughout the week for maximum benefit with minimal injury risk. But with my customized plan, everything has felt challenging, but not to the point of over training.

My yearly mileage is on the upswing, a trend I love to see:

Yearly mileage

Races

Thanks to staying injury-free, I was able to do a good number of races this year. Four of these races were PRs (in bold).

• February: George Washington Birthday 10K in 45:44
• March: Shamrock half marathon in 1:42:24
• April: Cherry Blossom 10-miler in 1:15:25
• April: Crystal Run 5K Friday in 22:11
• May: Mississauga Marathon in 3:43:44
• July: Firecracker 5K in 22:54
• September: RnR Philadelphia 1/2 Marathon in 1:47:14 (major heat bonk)
• October: Boo! Run for Life 10K in 44:13
• October: Columbus Marathon in 3:40:00
• November: Virginia Run Turkey Trot 5K in 21:30
• December: Ringing In Hope 10K in 45:27

The turkey trot in November was just one second shy of my PR, and I am confident I would have PRed both my half marathons if the weather conditions hadn't been so unfavorable. 

My half marathon PR is now over 4 years old and I really think I can beat it by a significant amount if I get decent weather. 

Awards

I won 1st place in my age group at the Boo! Run for Life 10K, and 3rd place in my age group at both the Turkey Trot and the Ringing in Hope 10K.

Accomplishments

This year, I was really focused on upping my mental game-- both on the race course and off.  On the race course, this meant being mentally prepared for the hard times as well as conserving my mental energy for racing and not wasting it on things I can't control.

Off the course, this meant having a more positive attitude about my running, keeping it fun, and not defining myself by my running achievements.  Specifically, here were some major wins:

• Mental toughness during Cherry Blossom. I pushed extremely hard during that race after having felt like I didn't give it my all at the Shamrock half.
• Keeping positive during the hot, humid Philadelphia half marathon. I pushed hard and ran the fastest race I could given the circumstances. When I bonked and ended up with one of my slowest times ever, I didn't let that upset me and ruin the week-long vacation I had after that
• Stepping out of my comfort zone and working with a new coach. Having the confidence to approach new and challenging workouts, and valuing change for the sake of change.
• Qualifying for Boston. 2014 was the year I finally did it! And I wouldn't have been able to do it if I didn't give it every ounce of power during those final few minutes.
• Being less focused on time. I've gone into every race with goals that were non-time based, and as a result, the time hasn't mattered as much to me as achieving these other goals.
• Staying injury free. Listening to my body and knowing when to back off or cut a workout short.

Pictures

Shamrock half marathon, running through a headwind

Cherry Blossom 10-miler

Crystal Run 5K Friday

Mississauga Marathon

Firecracker 5K

Boo! Run for Life 10K

Columbus Marathon BQ!

Virginia Run Turkey Trot 5K

Ringing In Hope 10K

My primary goals for 2015 are to run happy, healthy, and to continue to become a stronger running, both physically and mentally.

Over It.

Running didn't really happen for me in July due to a stress reaction in my left shin and some high hamstring tendonitis. For the month, I logged a grand total of 4 miles over the course of 3 runs-- all of them being "test runs". This morning I had a successful jog/walk session so I plan to start getting back into things next week.

I've been busy pool running, swimming and using the elliptical. I've been doing tempos and intervals on the elliptical, to the extent that I really feel it in my lungs and I am fairly certain that my VO2 max is being maintained. The effort is substantial and I am left feeling like I did a hard workout. I did a jog/walk this morning and the 9:30 pace felt like a 9:30 pace, so I am optimistic about where my fitness is. Definitely not obsessing over it since I know I will gain back eventually.

Where I've mainly been seeing progress is my mentality and attitude about running, and and about life in general. My primary goals for the year had little to do with training and running performance and mainly to do with mental strength. I think I've had a breakthrough. And the breakthrough is that I'm over it.

Worrying about what other people think of me-- I'm over it. Comparing my race times to others-- I'm over that too. Obsessing over getting every run in and following a training plan perfectly-- over that. Revolving my whole life and mental space around my next marathon and my training for it-- done with it.

I'm basically just sick of all the crap I put myself through in trying to improve my race times and it serves no

And if I don't run it perfectly, that's totally cool!

purpose. It's not going to make me a better runner. It's only going to undermine me and hurt me so why do I do it? It's okay that I took a month off of running. It's okay if I don't PR in Chicago. It's okay if I go for a year or two without setting a PR. Everything is my choice and nobody else cares about it to the extent that I do. Nobody is pressuring me to do any of these things except me. And I'm done with it.

That realization is so liberating and I can still remember the moment in the locker room of my building when it just kind of hit me. I had just finished an elliptical workout and I started to think about what my time off from running meant for me. But I just stopped short and realized that it doesn't matter to me the way it used to. It's my life and I can do whatever I want. I was exhausted from the elliptical. I was doing my best to maintain my fitness by doing activities that I didn't particularly enjoy and my best is good enough. Whatever happens in the fall is completely okay. And I honestly felt it, I didn't just force those thoughts into my brain because I know I'm "supposed" to be thinking along those lines.

One of my biggest roadblocks was that I never saw my line of thinking as being hurtful to me. In fact, I have always thought pretty highly of myself in terms of my hard work and motivation to accomplish things. It wasn't me who was hurting myself-- I was just reacting to the bad things that came my way.

When things didn't go well for me during a race, or really for most things in life, I would focus heavily on what went wrong and just wonder why I couldn't have what I wanted. This often led to post-marathon depression. I saw myself as sensitive and emotional about stuff, and that's just who I was. I couldn't help it if I got upset.

The breakthrough is that by focusing on these things that upset me-- I am hurting myself. Even though I'm not saying "Elizabeth you suck," by holding on to the disappointment and analyzing the situation over and over again, that's hurtful to me. If someone else had a race that didn't go well, I wouldn't spend hours talking them through all the details of how and why, and then comparing them to other people. That's not helpful. I'd want them to just move past it and get over it quickly.

Getting over it quickly doesn't mean you don't care or that you don't feel your emotions. It's just that you make the decision not to focus on things that hurt you. You make a decision to focus on things you can control and doing your best at those.

Many of my teammates ran a 1-mile race on a track a few weeks ago and I went to cheer them on. On the ride home, I started to feel a little sad that I was injured and unable to participate. And then I started wondering what my time would have been-- but very quickly I shut that down. I realized that I truly was "over it" and none of this mattered. I needed to focus on getting healthy again, period. And I drove all the way home feeling at peace with the fact that I didn't run and that I didn't speculate about what my time would have been. It was really nice.

I'm excited and curious to see how this breakthrough will look as I return to running. The best way I can describe it is a feeling of freedom. I feel free to do whatever I want and it's just okay.

A Hearty Appetite for What's On The Menu

One week from today, I will be running a marathon.  I have one goal for it: take whatever is available.

It used to be that the main thing I wanted out of racing was PRs. And then I realized I was selling myself short and missing out on a whole lot of wonderful things- simply because I wasn't looking for them and seeing that they were there for me. Here is a list of possible "menu items" for next Saturday, in no particular order:

• Enjoyment of running a low-key race
• Development and experience as a runner
• Finishing the race
• Having a strong finish
• Pride in knowing that I ran my best race possible for that day
• Feeling loved and supported by Greg who will be at several places on the course
• Learning what works and what doesn't work, so I can refine my process
• "Testing" where my physical and mental training have landed me so far
• Camaraderie with other runners
• PR
• BQ
• Excitement
• Feeling of "solace" without much crowd support and very few other runners
• That feeling of pushing through physical discomfort and enduring it until the end of the race
• Checking a new state off of my marathon list (I'm not going for all 50, but would like to do a lot of states)
• Getting into a "groove" in the early miles and finding a rhythm

What's going to be available? I don't know. But I fully intend to take as much as possible from what's on the menu next weekend! That's my only goal. I probably won't get all of these things, but I will definitely get most of them as long as I am looking for them. I don't want to miss out. Yes, I would love a new marathon PR, but that's just one thing on a very long list. 

I'm not going soft. I'm not lowering the bar. I will run this race to the best of my ability in whatever the circumstances may be. In fact, that's bullet number 4. It's just that I am really broadening my horizons on what I can get out of the event. 

Don't Over Think It!

Many people would say that somebody who is anxiety-prone like me shouldn't be over-thinking the marathon in this way and that I shouldn't think about it until race day. That approach didn't work for me last year when I tried it, so I'm not going to try it again. Avoidance is not a strategy to deal with anxiety-- instead, you have to think about things in a way that gives you assurance and confidence that you will be able to handle them.

Keeping in mind that my goal is to get as many bullet points that are available (I know that these are not all within my control) I know I will succeed. I think that a lot of my previous anxiety stemmed from not knowing how the race was going to play out. Was I going to bonk? Would I meet my goal time? What would my splits look like? 

Now I realize that: A) I can actually predict most of what will happen  B) For the things that I can't predict, I know how I will handle them, and that's actually what makes racing so exciting.

I can predict most of what will happen. I'll have a pretty good idea of what the weather will be a few days out. I know everything I'm going to do on race morning before the race starts. I know what the course is like-- I've studied the map. I know what pace I will start at and that I will evaluate that pace at the 10K mark to see if I should maintain it or speed up. I know that I will see Greg along the course and I know when I will take my gels. I know that at some point the race will start to feel hard and I will need to continue to push through it. I know that barring any stomach issues or injuries, I will finish the race. 

There are a few things I can't predict. I don't know how I will feel and at what point the race will start to get tough. I don't know if I will have stomach issues. I can't predict what my splits will be or what my finish time will be.  But these unknowns are okay! If I do have stomach issues or if the race starts to feel hard early on, I will deal with it. If I could predict my splits and if I did know my exact finish time in advance, well then-- where's the excitement of actually racing?

Other Thoughts

• I trained so that I would be physically prepared to run this race. If I struggle during this marathon, it doesn't diminish my hard work-- my training will serve me well at future races this spring.
• It's been 5 years since I've had a strong marathon finish, but I don't feel like I am "due". It will happen when it's meant to happen. And it hasn't happened within the past 5 years for a reason
• A marathon time goal is far less significant than all the other goals I am working on this year. I'm working on overhauling a perfectionist mindset that I've had my entire life. Showing progress in that area is far more meaningful to me than a time. 
• I have a great deal of evidence to show that I can be happy, proud, and satisfied when a race doesn't go as well as I would have liked. The Love Rox half marathon is perhaps the best example of that.
• I also have evidence that focusing on doing my best will make me feel physically and mentally strong during a race.

I feel ready for this marathon. I've been sleeping well, feeling strong, and staying focused on "taking what's available" next Saturday.

2013 Goals

A year ago, my yearly goals would have looked something like this:

Marathon: Sub-3:35
Half Marathon: Sub-1:40
10K: Sub-45:00
5K: PR
Miles to run: 2000+
Injury Free.

They don't look like that now. I've changed and grown quite a bit over the past year and a result, I see my running in a different light.

Before I can set my 2013 goals, I think I need to take a look at where I am now. My goals are to continue to hone the "tools" that will make me a happier person and a stronger runner, both physically and mentally. These tools or skills aren't a "yes/no"-- rather, they exist on a spectrum of how strongly they can hold up with  increased amounts of pressure or adversity. I have quite a few of these, but I am going to go with my top 5 skills that I want to strengthen in 2013.

• Focusing on the process of running a race, as opposed to the outcome
• Not comparing myself to other people
• Separating my running from myself as a person-- not defining myself as "a runner"
• Focusing on the big picture of my running- not any one individual race
• Attaching emotions to the process (ex: being happy about executing my race strategy)

The better I am at each of these, the less anxiety I will feel about running and racing, the better I will sleep, the more relaxed I will feel, the more content I will be. And ultimately, this is what leads to strong performance.

A year ago, I didn't have any of these skills. One bad race would upset me so much and overshadow the big picture of my running and all the hard work I did during training. And I couldn't let it go-- I couldn't separate out my running from other parts of my life and who I was as a person. A "bad" race would hang a dark cloud over me for days. I knew I had anxiety issues that were impacting my marathons and the more I tried to get myself to relax, or convince myself that I didn't care about the time, the more anxiety I generated. I finally put a stop to the cycle and committed 100% to learning how to be kinder to myself.

With 1 being "I don't have this skill yet" and 5 being "I have this skill and I am extremely confident that it will hold up in any circumstance, even extremely high pressure ones", here is how I evaluate myself now.

Focusing on the process of running a race, as opposed to the outcome. Now: 3. Goal: 4
I've demonstrated this skill at my past 4 races, including my most recent race where I felt like I was physically in shape to PR. However, none of these race were what I would have previously considered "goal races" so there wasn't as much pressure as there might have been if the race was my "A" race. I'd don't know if I will ever be able to push this to a 5 because I've always been so focused on my time goals, but I think I can get this to a 4 with more practice. A "4" would be where after the race, I'm still thinking in terms of process and not judging my race result. 

Not comparing myself to other people. Now: 3. Goal: 4

I've made huge strides here. I used to constantly compare myself to others. I don't do it as much anymore, but that's because I am literally having to remind myself not to. A 4 or 5 would be when the temptation is not even there and the thought doesn't even cross my mind to compare my running to someone else's

Separating my running from who I am as a person. Now: 4. Goal: 5

I never did this before because I didn't think it was important. Actually, I thought that all successful runners were completely defined by their sport and ate, breathed, and slept it. I've opened my eyes and taken a good look around me and realized that the most successful athletes I know are not at defined by their running. It's just one aspect of their life and they aren't carrying it into conversations at parties or into the workday, or letting it just occupy their mind 24/7. So once I realized that separation is actually a very good thing, I adapted nicely. I think I'm at a 4 because I still find my mind wandering to running when it really should be focused on something else. But only occasionally and I see this happening less and less.

Focusing on the big picture of my running- not any one individual race. Now: 3. Goal: 5
Perhaps a bit aggressive to move this to a 5, but I think I can. Marathon training is really focused around one goal race and all the workouts, etc. are timed accordingly. Therefore, it's hard not to see the marathon as the "A" race of the season and everything else as "B" and "C". But I really want to put everything on a level playing field. No one race defines my training cycle. And there aren't races that are "just for fun" and "for time". Every race should be fun. And I should care about my time for every race, although not have it be the main focus. As I explained in a previous post, only 20% of races are likely to be PRs. And 50% of them are likely to not go my way. That's just how the sport is at my level, and I want to accept that within the big picture of 2013.

Attaching emotions to the process. Now: 4. Goal: 5

I've always done a little bit of this. I've always been really satisfied with my training and proud when I ran a race to the best of my ability. But it's always been overshadowed by the race result, since my emotions were more strongly attached to that number, and not the process. I've had so many fantastic training cycles for marathons, and had marathons where I ran the best race I possibly could given the circumstances- be it heat, an upset stomach, or whatever. And I was proud of myself for that, but that feeling of pride was never the dominant feeling after the race. I have a more realistic view of racing now, and there is no reason why I can't always run the best race I have in me that day and be proud of it. 

In closing, I think I have progressed more as an athlete in 2012 than any other year prior. Ironically, I only have one PR to show for it. But I think I needed to go through mono and other adversity to get some perspective and to "practice" skills that would be hard to learn if I was in peak condition physically. With these goals in mind, I am ready to embrace whatever 2013 brings. 

Setting The Bar

As a "recovering perfectionist" I am learning that I tend to set the bar too high. Previously, I would go into the majority of my races expecting PRs. Unless I was coming off of an injury, or the weather was warm, then I would shoot for a PR and then be disappointed when I didn't get it. I always thought this was a good thing because I wanted to set the bar high. I wanted to push myself. But now I am realizing that pushing oneself doesn't mean setting the bar high for every race in terms of a time goal.

There are three "levels" of performance, according to my sports psychologist. You can run the best race you have in you on race day, and end up in any one of these three areas.

1. You have your "bottom line" which is the range of times you would get if things didn't really go your way. You might expect to fall your bottom line range if the weather were hot, if you were coming off of an injury, if you just didn't "feel it" that day, if your nutrition or hydration were off. There are many reasons why you might run in your bottom line range. 

2. You have a "mid-range" area where if things went well, that's where you'd land. You felt good, the weather was decent, you had trained well, etc.

3. You have an "upper end" area where the PR and beyond lives. This happens when you have an amazing day, everything comes together. You're feeling great, you've trained well, you're well rested going into it, etc.

Of course, there are always the out-liers on the bottom end, like if you injure yourself during the race, or have major digestive issues, etc. That wouldn't be considered part of #1, that would just be an extenuating circumstance, which happens to everyone from time to time.

In a given year, how often can I expect to be at #3? Previously, I was expecting more than 50% of my races to be at #3. This isn't realistic-- at least not for someone who has been running for as long as I have been. For experienced runners who have been running for awhile and are past the point of setting PRs at each race, it's realistic to be at #3 about 20% of the time. My sports psychologist told me that "normal" and "realistic" for experienced runners is 50% at the bottom line, 30% in the mid-range, and 20% at the upper end. He said if you ask elite marathon runners how often they run a marathon that they think is a very strong performance, they will say about 1 in 5. At the end of 2013, if half of my races are at my bottom line, and 30% are in the mid-range, and 20% are at the upper year, then it's been a good year. If I exceed that, then it's been a great year. 

He also said that if he were to interview the first 1,000 finishers of a large race, that probably 20% of them would have set PRs, 30% would have been in their mid-range, and half of them would have been at their bottom line. This was an eye opener for me. I don't think he's lying-- he's been in this profession for over 25 years. So I've been digesting this concept for awhile now and trying to apply it to myself.

This is not to say that I should only try to get a PR in 20% of my races. Rather, to understand that PRs are the exception, not the rule. And I also think the point is that I need to go into a race not trying for a particular time, but to do my best and focus primarily on how I will run the race, not what the result will be. This "setting the bar" is not so much about goal setting, but being realistic about how I review my performances afterwards. The key is that you can run to the best of your ability and land in any one of these three areas. Running the best race you can on a particular day does not necessarily equal a PR, even if you are in the best shape of your life.

In the past, I've always expected my marathons to be at the upper end.  My first six marathons were all PRs and everything went perfectly smoothly. In fact, I exceeded my expectations with every single one of them! Since I know I am capable of running fantastic marathons, I have always expected it out of myself. I figured that if I set the bar any lower than how I performed at my first six, then I would be doing a dis-service to myself. 

This is simply unrealistic and it creates a great deal of pressure, resulting in exactly the opposite of what I want. Going into each marathon, I knew I wouldn't be satisfied unless I was in that "upper end" of performance range, just like I had been for my first six. And as the years went by, I just felt more and more pressure to prove myself. Thus, my marathons have been a very long string of anxiety-related blow ups.

My sports psychologist wanted me to think about what specific ranges of times I would put in each bucket for 2013. The ultimate goal of training is to lower all of the ranges, but this doesn't happen overnight. I shouldn't be revising these buckets every time I race-- I need to be focused on more of the big picture of my running as opposed to any one specific race. Will I run a 3:30 marathon? Absolutely, I know I will. Will it be the next marathon I run? I don't know. I'm focusing now on the bigger picture of my running, and I won't let one race, one day, be the judgement of weeks and months and years of hard work and dedication. 

One of my many new year's resolutions is to set the bar high for myself in a completely different way. Instead of always trying to set PRs with my running I will have extremely high expectations in the areas of:

- Believing in myself and my ability to work hard

- Taking good care of my body

- Keeping running separate from other areas of my life

- Conducting constructive post-race reviews and weekly training reviews

- To have patience

- To compare only to myself-- not to other people

- To just let myself run without judgement

These are by no means easy for me, but they are all within my control. The bar is set for 2013, and I'm looking forward to a happy, healthy year!

Someone Who Thinks You Can't

Reason to exercise #101: Because there is someone out there who thinks you can't.

I can't take credit for this little gem of wisdom, I saw it on Twitter and re-tweeted. For each one of us athletes who trains hard to attain specific goals, there is likely someone, or several people, out there questioning us or doubting us. So instead of letting that person bring us down, let them fuel our fire to work harder and smarter in pursuit of our goals! 

Any psychologist will tell you that people who doubt you or who project negativity onto you are actually just exhibiting their insecurities. The ones who tell you that you can't attain your goals, or you'll get injured, or you're aiming to high-- instead of buying into their negativity, you have to question why it matters so much to them. Some of them may even be fellow athletes who disagree with your approach, your philosophy or even the statements you make about yourself. They put you down because underneath it all, they believe it invalidates their approach or their achievements.

Most of us already struggle with self doubt and our own negativity at times that we certainly don't need others questioning our goals and aspirations as athletes. (As a side note, I believe anyone who trains for a race is an athlete and I don't like categorizing runners vs. joggers or competitive vs. amateur.) We all need to respect each other as athletes no matter how different our capabilities are. Even the folks who run/walk their way to a six-hour marathon deserve respect because they have a goal. What they are doing in no way undermines what I am doing. 

Why do I bring this up now? I have personally encountered folks both online and face-to-face at races who have blatantly belittled me and scoffed at my goals. These aren't people I'm in direct competition with, but people who disagree with my philosophies on running. And it's often under the guise of them "just trying to be helpful," but sometimes it's less masked.  

Personally, I consider myself to be someone who takes a realistic and conservative approach to training. Even more so within the past two years. But there will always be someone out there who "thinks I can't" no matter how reasonable my goals may be. Maybe I'll attain my goals, and maybe I won't. But nothing is going to stop me from trying and putting myself out there and using this blog to do so. I started this blog as a way to document my reflections on my training and racing and I'm not asking anyone to agree with my assessment of these things. If someone doesn't agree, then they don't have to read. It was my decision to make this blog open to the public so I realize I have opened myself up to criticism and negative comments. Along with all the wonderful support I get from 95% of my readers, there will inevitably be those who "think I can't". 

Why blog about my races? A finish time at a race doesn't tell the story and I don't want that to be my only takeaway years later. For example, a 1:46 half marathon, which is 5 minutes slower than my PR, looks like a regression in my abilities, but it was actually on target with what I wanted to achieve in that race. By the same token, my marathon PR from 2009 was actually one of my worst races, as I ended up in the medical tent with hypothermia. As runners, we tend to get obsessed about numbers and times, but we must remember that the journey is far more important than the destination. 

Before I even started running marathons, I had a boss who ran them. He told me that he really liked looking through the race results and seeing everyone's splits. He could tell who had a good race and who didn't based on the difference between their starting and finishing paces. I didn't know much about running back then, but his thinking made a lot of sense. 

I apologize if this blog is vague, but I'll use this post to remind me of what's most important and not allow others to project negativity onto my running or diminish my achievements. 

Brooks Sponsorship, Mileage Ramp-Up

I was pleasantly surprised this afternoon when I received an email from a Marketing Coordinator at Brooks Sports inviting me to join ther "Inspire Daily" (ID) program. I was waiting to qualify for Boston before I applied, but once I realized I wouldn't be able to run a marathon until the Spring, I decided to go for it anyway and just use my half marathon time from March of this year. The application process consisted of me providing them with recent race times (I gave two recent half marathon times) and a quick essay on how I inspire others. I also linked to some of the articles that I had written about Brooks running shoes which compared the different models.

If I accept their offer, I receive huge discounts on Brooks running shoes and apparel. However, I must agree to train and race exclusively in Brooks shoes. Right now, I alternate the Brooks Adrenaline with a Nike Structure Triax to avoid injury and preserve shoe life. I also wear the Mizuno Elixir for speed work and races from 5K-10K. If I accepted the sponsorship, I wouldn't be able to wear these shoes. However, if I got a home treadmill (which I am thinking about doing in about 6-8 months) then there probably would be no issue with me wearing the Nikes on those runs. The goal of the program is for the ID runners to market Brooks products by wearing them publically. I'd have to try some of their new shoes on to see if I liked them. The Infiniti is too wide for me in the toe box, but I haven't tried the Ravenna yet. If they have any Brooks Adrenaline GTS 6 (2006 model) hiding in their basement, I would be ecstatic, as I am curently hoarding them and saving them for marathons and half marathons.

My foot has been behaving and I had a strong "comeback" in October. I am still nowhere near where I was pre-injury, but I am feeling a bit more confident-- especially after a speed session today with 3:00 intervals at a 6:52 pace. My weekly mileage for October was:

Oct. 5-- 23.5
Oct. 12-- 27.5
Oct. 19-- 34
Oct. 26-- 39

My longest run has been 13 miles. My next marathon is the Shamrock Marathon in late March, so I have plenty of time to get my long runs up there. For now I am focused on three immediate goals:

Nov. 15-- Veteran's Day 10K
Goal will be 48:45 (7:50 pace). I know I shouldn't expect any PRs coming off of an injury, but my 10K PR is extremely soft, set two years ago before I had ever run a 45+ mile week. After over a year of consistently running 50+ weeks, I should be able to knock at least 30 seconds off of the PR. . . injury or not!

Nov. 26-- Turkey Trot 5K
Goal will be 23:10. (7:28 pace) Once again, I know I shouldn't be expecting any PRs in the wake of an injury, but I ran a 23:32 in 2006, so one would think that I would be able to shave off at least 20 seconds in the course of three years! My PR is 23:22, and I think this is soft, as well. I think I have a better shot at the 10K PR, but I am still going to go for it in the 5K

Dec. 5-- Memphis Half Marathon
I am uncertain about my goal for this race. On one hand, I might just run alongside my boyfriend. He has gotten extremely fast over the past few months, so I might not even be able to keep up with him! I'm predicting that he will run somewhere around 1:49, and that might be the best I can do on that day as well. I guess the 10K and 5K will be used to determine my goal. There is no way I will PR here, but I would like to have a strong performance.

So things are looking up. I know I have a long road ahead of me as I spend the next 4 months training for the Shamrock marathon. Hopefully I can scoop up some shorter distance PRs along the way.