Love Rox Half Marathon: 13.4 Miles of Chaos

Or 10 miles, depending on who you are. . . but I will get to that later.

I have this recurring dream where I'm running a race and it turns into an obstacle course, and then I somehow get off course. I think I'm winning when the truth is I'm just going the wrong way. The most common obstacle is a staircase, and when I get off course, nobody is around to tell me where to go. That dream came true this morning at the Love Rox half marathon in Richmond.

I registered for this race about three weeks ago, per the advice of my coach. He likes the idea of running a half marathon tune-up race four weeks out from a goal marathon. Love Rox in Richmond was perfectly timed for this, and with a 10:00am start, I could drive down the morning of the race without having to deal with a hotel.

Being the inaugural year, I thought there might be some hiccups. However, Richmond Multisports, the organization that was putting this race on, had a good reputation for organizing triathlons. The race website seemed very professional and it had a fun Valentine's day theme, with elements such as "proposal hot spots" along the course where you could propose to your loved one during the race.

The course description was also very attractive. The website advertised,  "The course is very flat with the exception of some small gradual inclines up to the Lee Bridge and a few short steps down to the Canal Walk before you hit the Capital Trail along Dock." I raised my eyebrows at the "short steps down" part, but I thought I could handle a few steps down during a half marathon. Having run this race, I can honestly say this description is completely inaccurate. In fact, I would characterize it as very hilly and the "few short steps down" were more like 4 major staircases-- two up and two down. (Photo is below).  Sure, a lot of courses say "fast and flat" when they are actually rolling hills, but there is no way you can characterize this course as "very flat" or even "somewhat flat".

Anyway, I went into the race a tad skeptical, but open-minded and optimistic about what the course would bring.

Before the Race
Greg and I left our house at 6:15 and arrived over an hour ahead of the 10:00am start. Greg did not run this race and came just to support me. What a sweetie! I noticed there were only about 10 porta-potties which seemed insufficient for a race of 1,000 runners. I used one right away, before there was any line. I tried to use one again about 25 minutes before the start, but the line was huge and I didn't want to wait out in the cold rain for it.

Patricia, Me, and Jessica pre-race

Greg and I waited in the semi-warm tent for the race to start. There was a huge print out of the course map, in which the start line had been moved. This seemed like a last minute change because it hadn't been communicated via email or on the website. I wondered why they moved it and what that meant for the course distance, but nobody seemed to know.

I found my CAR teammates Jessica and Patricia who were also skeptical about the course and organization. We said we were just going to "go with it" whatever it ended up being, but we weren't expecting greatness from the race course. We did a quick half-mile warmup and then it was time for the race to start.

The race website advertised chip timing, which I interpret to mean a starting mat and a finishing mat. Well, the new start line wasn't actually a start line. They gathered us all onto a grassy area and told us to stand between two cones. It ended up being an extremely wide start, and we'd all eventually end up running on a path after just 0.1 mile on the grass. (Oh yeah, and running on grass is another part of my recurring race dream. I hate doing it.) Below is a photo of this start line, if you can even call it that. The path on the right hand side of the photo is where all these runners merged onto after just 0.1 mile. Yeah, total congestion.

Mile 1
They counted down from five and then the horn honked. I just couldn't believe how ridiculous this start was, but I figured I'd be on a nice race course soon and the "ghetto race" feeling would end.

We started running and maybe about half a mile into it, we ran down a staircase, and then up a staircase. These were not small staircases or "short steps" by any stretch of the imagination. I didn't think this was right because I thought we would just run down a staircase-- not immediately back up another one. We got to the top and I was just running along starting to get into a groove post-staircase when I noticed that the people ahead of me didn't know where to go. The leaders started yelling out "where do we go?". Seriously, nobody knew where the course was. Finally, we realized we had to go back down the staircase, and we never should have gone up it to begin with. So in addition to the four "planned" staircase runs, a lack of direction made us run six staircases, and definitely lengthened the course. By the time I saw mile marker 1, my Garmin read 10:00. (The plan was to go out at a pace of around 7:45-7:50).

Miles 2-3
Everyone seemed so pissed about this. I actually thought that they would declare it a false start, stop the race and have everyone start over. That would have been a good thing, but no, the race continued. At that point, I pretty much new a PR wouldn't be happening, unless I somehow made up that time. I stayed optimistic and continued running.

We ran underneath a railroad track and a bridge, so the Garmin got all wacky. I had thought that even if I didn't get an accurate time due to the course screw up, at least I'd have good Garmin data. Well, not true. My Garmin data for this race was all over the map. And if you include miles with staircases, I ran those probably about 10-15 seconds per mile slower than if there had been no staircase.

It was cold (upper 30's) and raining. We weren't running on asphalt but other surfaces, like the sidewalk that's made out of those little rocks. And concrete. And there were tons of potholes everywhere. Someone posted on the race's Facebook wall afterwards: "The ducking through the flood wall was awkward. The potholes and uneven terrain made injuries a serious concern."  I agree, the course was not safe on many levels. The terrain was just a small part of that.

I stuck with Jessica and Patrica during these miles and we were taking it all in stride. I said "well, at least they have proposal hotspots!" Patricia said, "you guys both better propose to me!" And I said "we should all three get married on this course!" Obviously, the race management was focused on the wrong aspects of organization.

We hit a water station and Patrica couldn't get water. I was holding a bottle, so this didn't affect me, but she literally had to stop and wait for someone to get her water. This happened multiple times throughout the race.  There were not enough volunteers and the ones who were there didn't seem to be paying attention.

I have Garmin splits for this portion, but they are totally inaccurate due to running under a bridge.

Miles 4-5
Up another staircase and we were finally on what seemed to be a typical race course. Here is a photo of the staircase that we ended up running up 3 times, and down 3 times-- Greg took this photo of me running up (in the red shirt).

Yes, this is a serious staircase! You don't want six of these in your half marathon!

I lagged behind Patrica and Jessica on the staircase and didn't catch up to them afterwards. The gap between me and them got wider and wider and I started to get frustrated and lose confidence. Physically, I just felt like I was expending way too much effort to be at mile 5 of a half marathon and mentally I was drained from how horribly the course was designed. As I watched Patricia and Jessica fade away in the distance, I had some interesting self talk:

I think I'm just going to drop out. The time I get won't be an accurate reflection of where I am fitness wise, which is one of the main purposes of a tune-up race. I feel like shit. I don't want to have to run a second loop of this exhausting course. There is no way I will be able to maintain this pace for the rest of the race. This just isn't my day. When I see Greg at mile 7, I'm just going to call it quits. I'll still have legs fresh enough to do a long run tomorrow and salvage some training for this weekend. This course is a joke and it's not worth my effort.

What do I really want out of this race anyway? And that question made me think. Seriously think. All these months working with a sports psychologist, trying to focus on the process and not the outcome. And then the question became a good one-- What can I get out of this race? What will I miss out on if I quit?  

A lot! I'm not running this race with the sole purpose of PRing. I want to prove to myself that I can push hard when things get tough. I want this run to boost my confidence for future races. Even if my time sucks, I want to feel like I put out my best effort. Quitting is not my best effort. I know that I am of similar ability to Jessica and Patricia and there is no reason why they should be so far ahead of me. I can catch them, I know it! I am going to surge now and start putting forth some serious effort. I might crash later on, but I am going to push for it now! I'm going to race this one!

At that point, I put my foot on the gas and started passing people. I sped up quite a bit and the gap between me and Patricia was getting smaller and smaller. At one point, I passed a guy who said to me, "where are you going?" I laughed and then wizzed by. All of a sudden I felt energized. I felt good again! Wow!

I am so proud of myself. I just proved to myself that I can turn a negative attitude into a positive one by focusing on the process (not the race result) and by doing so, make myself feel better physically. It's amazing how much my improved mental state made me feel. I was peppy again and excited to be in a race.

Back to the race, this was an unsafe course. The road was not closed off to cars, so we had to run on a sidewalk. Not an ideal surface for someone with a history of stress fractures. Some people were running on the road anyway, myself included. I kept on passing people and surging ahead until I finally caught up with Patrica. Yay! It was great to be running with her, and I was able to feed off of her positive energy.

Miles 6-7
Aside from my improved mental state, another factor that came into play was that I think I just start to feel better once I hit mile 6 of a half marathon. In Disney, I didn't really feel good until after I got out of the Magic Kingdom, six miles into it. And so, I learned something valuable-- I can expect to not feel all that great the first few miles of a half marathon. It will get better, so I should  hang in there.

Another staircase! And very slippery surface!

There was a very steep downhill, (the same one that ended the Richmond marathon last fall) and I felt like I really had to hold back to prevent myself from falling. It was so steep that it was unsafe, and many of the Richmond marathoners I spoke to afterwards agreed. Not only was this hill steep, but we couldn't run on the road-- we had to use the sidewalk, so it was particularly slippery. No fun.

After mile marker 7, I knew to expect Greg, who was waiting for me with a replacement water bottle. I later learned that he was also helping out as a course Marshall, directing people on where to go. Since they were so light on volunteers and people didn't know where to go, he was actually directing people. One person actually made a rude comment to him, as if he was part of the course management.

Greg also noted that some people were coming down the staircase way before the leaders of the half marathon. He figured out that these folks actually missed the out-and-back because they were mis-directed, so their race was only 10 miles. Not only does this screw up their race, but it screws up the rankings for everyone else. Who knows how many people only ran 10 miles and are competing with people who ran the full course? Really horrible mis-management.

Miles 8-11
This race also had a 10K, which ran one loop of the course, but started at 10:45. This means that Patricia and I got to spend our entire second loop passing slower 10K runners. This might not have been an issue if we weren't forced onto narrow sidewalks and if there wasn't a portion that was an out-and-back, further crowding the course. It was really mentally draining to have to constantly be passing people.

Patricia and I couldn't really run side-by-side because we had to keep passing other people. It just sucked to have to run the entire race on the sidewalk and not get to use the road at all. They really should have closed off the course-- especially if they were creating a situation where half marathoners would be passing 10K runners for the entire second loop.

Even still, we kept each other in check, encouraging each other to stay strong and that we didn't have much farther to go.

Miles 12-Finish

Downhill finish, before the cobblestone

Hills. That's all I have to say here. Oh, and snow. It started to sleet/wet snow during the last two miles which made things even more interesting. But back to the hills. We had already done these monstrous hills on loop one and now we had to conquer them a second time, right at the end of the race. I toughed it out and stayed strong, screaming all the way down the hill because I thought I would fall over.

Even before we ran down the hill that was the same as the Richmond marathon finish, there was another even steeper downhill before that which I was certain I was going to fall on. And of course, all this while passing 10K runners.

At the bottom of the hill, about 30 feet before the finish line, we had the privilege of running over some serious cobblestone. It wasn't a long stretch, just enough to make you slow down considerably during what should be a final kick.

We crossed the finish line (there was no mat) and I was so grateful to be done with that race.

Trying to pass two 10K runners before the finish, cobblestone in background

Post-Race
I met up with Greg, who had a big bouquet of roses for me! I am so happy I actually finished the race because I would have felt guilty if I hadn't.

As was a common theme, Patrica went searching for the post race water and couldn't find it. I think she eventually did, but it wasn't at all obvious. I was freezing cold and so was Greg and the idea of sticking around for post-race festivities did not at all appeal to me.

We were curious about age group awards (not realizing there were people who only ran 10 miles who would be skewing them anyway). We couldn't tell from the results if we won anything but we suspected we didn't. My name actually didn't even appear in the results. I finished a few seconds behind Patricia, and her time was 1:43:xx but there was no record of me. The results aren't online yet, but I will update this blog when they are. My Garmin got 13.34, I think Patricia's was 13.4. Another teammate had 13.5. Sigh.

Takeaways
I actually got a lot out of this race. A lot more than I would have thought given the crappy organization and course.

• I've proven to myself that I can get over a mental slump in a race
• I've proven that getting over a mental slump also makes me feel better physically, and speed up when I am already thinking I am at full effort.
• I can put forth a solid effort and run a strong performance, even when I know a PR is out of the question
• When things don't go as expected, I can adapt and make adjustments
• I hit my "sweet spot" at around mile 6 of a half marathon, so I shouldn't worry if I am not "feeling it" before then.
• It helps to run with someone else. Especially with someone who has a great personality like Patricia, and who can help keep me motivated and positive.
• When things get tough during a race, I can remind myself what I am capable of physically and do it.

I have no official time, splits that are inaccurate and slower than they would be on a non-staircase course, and definitely no PR. But I ran very strong. Some of my miles clocked in as fast as 7:16 (not under the bridge). Others were closer to 8:00 due to staircases and hills. I was completely inconsistent pace wise, but very consistent effort wise once I made the decision that I was going to try my best.

A very valuable learning experience, and I'm glad I raced this one. Would I do it again next year? Definitely not.

Peak Week! (Part V)

Continuing with my tradition of blogging about my "peak week" of marathon training, I wanted to write a detailed report of this week, February 4-10. My total was 60 miles.

My weekly mileage hasn't been this high since the spring of 2010 (which I actually didn't blog about). After getting stress fractures in January of 2011, I decided I would try lower mileage for awhile, with swimming and pool running as cross training. This cycle, I removed the swimming and pool running and returned to higher mileage, along with strength training-- particularly core work. I am very thankful that I haven't gotten injured and that I've felt energized for the majority of my runs.

Previous Peak Weeks

• August 22, 2011: 51 miles
• August 9, 2009: 61 miles
• December 1, 2008: 56 miles
• August 17, 2008: 55 miles

The Big Picture
I know that many marathon plans "peak" 3 weeks out from race day. I prefer to peak 5-6 weeks out in terms of mileage and then do some tune-up races and some marathon pace workouts for the remainder of the cycle.

There wasn't a point when I "officially" started marathon training. I did create a 22-week plan when I was recovering from mono, which I have kept very closely to. I prefer to see myself as simply "training" rather than "marathon training" because it puts the focus more on the work itself and less on the end result.

Monday: 11 miles easy, avg. 8:46
I love starting the week with a 10-11 mile run. Technically, I refer to anything over 10 as a "medium-long" run in my log. I've discovered that if I truly keep these runs easy, my legs feel fresh enough for a interval workout the next day. This run went very well, but my legs did start to feel a little tired during the last mile. That's to be expected and if my legs never felt tired during a run, I would think that I could probably be doing more. It was 25 degrees and windy and I ran my typical residential route.

Tuesday: 8.5 miles, including 4 x 1200m
I did this workout with my team at the track in Arlington. It's a 25-minute drive to get there, and then 40 minutes to drive back to the gym near my office where I shower because of rush hour traffic. But it's worth it to run with such a great group and to have the coach encouraging you each lap. I warmed up for 2.4 miles, and then we started the workout. My times were 5:10, 5:01, 5:01, 4:58. Pace-wise, these are in the low 6:40's. I didn't look at my Garmin during the run, and although the coach was calling out splits at each lap, I have zero ability to do the math when I am running fast. I wasn't targeting any particular pace, I just put out an effort level that felt appropriate for 1200's. Recovery between each was a 500m jog. I then cooled down for 2.1 miles, giving me 8.5 for the day.

Wednesday: Rest + Stretching/Strengthening
Wednesday has been my scheduled rest day for most of this cycle. I know it would probably be ideal to have complete rest rather than to do core work and weights, but it's so hard to fit in strength training on the days when I am running so many miles.

Thursday: 10 miles, inc. 6 tempo avg. 7:29
On Thursday, I ran 2.5 miles warmup, 6 miles tempo, and 1.5 miles cooldown. I prefer a longer warmup in the winter and a shorter warmup in the summer, for obvious reasons! I don't think I have run a 6-mile tempo since the fall of 2011. I wasn't at all intimidated by this run because I knew all I had to do was keep my heart rate between 172-179 and I'd get the desired benefit. No pressure to run a particular pace. It was a pretty good morning for a tempo run-- 27 degrees and very little wind.

Mile 1: 7:31 (165 avg. HR)
Mile 2: 7:25 (174 avg. HR)
Mile 3: 7:34 (174 avg. HR) - net uphill
Mile 4: 7:32 (176 avg. HR)
Mile 5: 7:30 (176 avg. HR)
Mile 6: 7:15 (176 avg. HR)- net downhill

It definitely nice to finish on a downhill! I was very pleased with how I kept my effort level consistent and my heart rate reflected that.

Friday: 5.5 miles easy, avg. 8:44
I was pleasantly surprised at how peppy my legs felt after the previous day's tempo run. This was not a nice day for running- very cold, windy, overcast, but I got it done.

Saturday: 20.6 miles, avg. 8:56
I ran the Rock Creek Park loop with my teammates. A wind advisory was in effect, with sustained winds form 20-25 mph and higher gusts. The temperature was in the high 20's so this was really not ideal long-run weather. The wind kept waking me up the night before, so I hadn't slept well. In fact, for various reasons, I didn't sleep well this week at all. It didn't seem to affect my running, but I do want to make sure I get back on the right track with my sleep.

This Rock Creek Loop is much more challenging than my typical 20-mile residential route. The last 5 miles are noticeably downhill, but you pay for that in the first 15 which feel like they are primarily uphill. The coach recommends we hit marathon pace for the last 6 miles, which I did, but because they were all downhill, the 8:00 pace felt at the end of the run felt a little easier than the 9:00 uphill pace earlier in the run. I guess I'm just not used to so many hills. Once I finished, it felt great to have that run behind me, especially with such windy conditions.

Sunday: 4.4 miles easy, avg. 9:02
My legs felt great after the previous day's long run, but once again I didn't sleep well so I was pretty tired. I took a nap afterwards, so now I feel better.

It feels awesome to be logging this type of mileage and feeling good. I think I've finally found a training formula that works for me that I plan to repeat in future cycles.

The Never Ending Story Comes To An End

"The sphinx's eyes stay closed until someone who does not feel his own worth tries to pass by."

The Sphinx in The Never Ending Story

In the past, this is what the start line of a marathon was like for me.

I would cross the start line full of anxiety and self-doubt (although I didn't recognize it as self-doubt at the time) and the sphinx's eyes would open, zapping me as I crossed the start line. About 8-10 miles into the marathon, my body would start to feel as if it had been completely zapped and all of my running abilities magically taken away from me.

As I the start line draws closer and closer, complete with sphinx, I am trying my best to prepare so that I don't get hit by the sphinx's rays. Or maybe I'll even be strong enough to remove the sphinx completely. 

Nearly a year ago, I received a blog comment that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I have to admit that this comment irked me because I wasn't about to give up on the marathon. But I realized that I would continue to have DNFs if something about the equation didn't change.

The short story is that I had two marathon blow-ups in a row due to the heat, which made me put extreme pressure on myself to perform at subsequent marathons. So even when heat was removed from the equation, I was still subconsciously worried and doubting myself. And then it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I became so fearful that I would bonk again that inevitably, I would bonk. 

What am I doing to take the anxiety/self-doubt out of the equation? Two major things, and they're connected.

1. I "feel my own worth" as a person, not just as a runner.

2. I'm focused primarily on the process of the race, not the outcome. 

I will feel my own worth when I pass through the sphinx.

I value myself based on who I am at my core, not on the the things that I achieve. I'm thoughtful, sensitive, motivated, passionate, and a deep thinker. Nothing will change these core attributes and lately I've been taking the time to recognize them more and more through my actions and thoughts. I bring my passion and drive to my running, and there is no race result that will ever change that.

I'm focused on the process, not the PR.

Even though I recognized that focusing on my marathon time was contributing to the anxiety, I didn't know how NOT to focus on it. I wanted so badly to run a marathon that reflected all my hard work and I couldn't ignore that desire. Now, I don't need that result to validate my hard work or the fitness level I have attained. I've gotten so much out of my training, as I mentioned in my last post, and nothing will take that away from me. Months and months of hard work are far more meaningful than how my body decides it's going to perform on just one day. And as I said in the previous post, I'm not doing the training with the focus of the marathon as the goal. Although I have structured my workouts so that I will be prepared to run the marathon that I'm registered for, I don't constantly find myself thinking about "what does this workout mean for the marathon"? I just don't think about that anymore. I've stopped speculating.

I've proven that I can focus on the process and tie emotion to that. For each race I've run since I recovered from mono, I was primarily focused on my training and my race strategy- not the outcome. I've never really liked the "just do your best" motto because I wanted results. But now I see that there is pride in doing my best and I am not in complete control of the race result. I'm not a machine, and my body performs differently on different days. I've accepted that and have therefore set more realistic expectations.

Everything happens for a reason. When my sports psychologist said this to me, I was thinking of it on a spiritual level. For example, I didn't get mono because I caught a virus but because I was supposed to learn something from it. (It's true that I got it from the virus, but when I think of why I got it, I think of what I was supposed to learn). He was talking more on the scientific level: I've had six marathon blow-ups for very specific reasons: heat, lack of sleep, race anxiety, stomach distress, etc. If I remove those elements, then there is no reason for a 7th blow-up.  If it's hot, I will adjust my pacing strategy to run slower. I can prevent lack of sleep and anxiety by removing the pressure I put on myself to perform. I now know what I can and can't eat before and during the race, so I can reduce the chances of stomach distress. Things are changing, so there's no reason for me to think I'd have another blow-up.

Here's me at my next marathon: 

Marathon Training: In The Thick Of It

I haven't blogged much about the specifics of my training lately. I'm really trying to stay focused on the big picture and not get wrapped out in any one workout, one week, or one race. While I naturally get super excited when a run goes better than expected, I keep myself in check by remembering I don't base anything off of "one"-- good or bad. I am looking for patterns in my training runs to assess progress.

This training cycle feels different from previous ones, both physically and mentally.

Physical Aspects
Physically, (insert huge knock on wood) I feel fantastic. No tweaks or even lingering muscle soreness. I'm running six days a week and when my rest days arrive, I don't even feel like I need them. I am running 5, 6, or even 7 miles the day after my long run and my legs don't even feel like they ran long the day before. I haven't even had my standard calf soreness during the past month. I'm sometimes logging both a tempo and an interval workout in the same week and I am exceeding my expected paces every time, simply by running on feel or heart rate. I'm successfully meeting the weekly mileage goals I set out for myself, and sometimes going a little bit above because everything feels so good.  I hope this lasts, I hope this lasts, I hope this lasts!

Maybe it's because I am almost always training for a marathon and the mono forced me to take a much-needed break. Maybe I came back super refreshed and ready to tackle the world. Maybe it's because I'm getting better sleep than I have been in years. Maybe it's because I'm more suited to winter running than any other season. I am at my best in the high 30's and low 40's. Not having to battle heat and humidity every day makes things so much easier. And maybe it's because I'm not forcing certain paces on myself during my runs, but just doing what feels to be the right effort level.

Mental Aspects
That brings me to the mental aspect of my training. I've blogged about this extensively ever since last May when I made the commitment to working through my anxiety issues and underlying perfectionism. It's not that I don't care about my paces or my race results. It's just that I am super focused on enjoying the day-to-day training and watching the miles accumulate in my log. I know I am becoming a better runner in so many ways and I don't need PRs to prove it.

I am getting more satisfaction out of the training than ever before. And I think that's coming from the structured "reviews" I am doing after my runs. I am purposefully looking for the positive and feeding my confidence. I haven't had any "bad" runs in months. Why? Because I don't believe in bad runs anymore. Only runs where I didn't feel all that great so I had to slow the pace. Just getting the miles in on days like those is a huge accomplishment. I expect that I will have days that feel un-energized, but as I said above, I don't base anything on just "one". If I had 5 days in a row of feeling off, then I would start to figure out the problem. But one day here and there of feeling tired is completely normal.

I know I'm getting faster and I think that within the past month I've reached a new level of fitness. I honestly think I could PR any distance right now. But believe it or not, I'm far more thankful that I'm able to train injury free and have things feel good. That's really what's most important to me- feeling good while running and truly being able to enjoy it. I'm just as happy with my running now as I was in November when I was still coming back from mono and not nearly as fast. The specific pace doesn't matter as much as the knowledge that I am improving. Happiness is coming from doing the work, logging the miles, and trying my best. I very much appreciate that I am faster, but I take far more pride in the high mileage I have logged and the consistency I have put out.

I guess I've changed.

Details
What Racing Stripes training blog is complete without a graph? Even though I am less of a perfectionist now, I still love my charts. If someone told me that I would be better off if I didn't keep a log or look at charts, I would resist forcefully! I don't obsess over the mileage here, but I do enjoy giving myself a pat on the back when I see those totals rise.

In terms of my plan, I created my own plan back in October that incorporated a mix of elements. I took the long run and interval schedule from my coach, I based the mileage on the basic principle of a gradual increase, and I based the intensity on various factors:

Intervals: Run by feel, don't look at Garmin. My coach has a pace chart that he suggests we try to come close to for these workouts, but I've been running intervals long enough that I know what the effort level should be. I run better if I don't try to hit a particular time but rather just put out a solid effort level. It takes the pressure off and allows me to focus on feel. As a result, I am running these much faster than I did in any previous training cycle. With the exception of yesterday when I ran with my team, I have been doing my interval workouts solo. I enjoy the group workouts more, but the solo ones are great for pushing myself and finding my own rhythm. I plan to mix up solo workouts with team workouts as the cycle continues.

Tempo: Run by heart rate. The VO2 max test I took last May gave me my Lactate Threshold heart rate zone. I stick to this very closely and always wear a heart rate monitor during tempo runs. Since I know what the zone feels like, I am not constantly looking down at my heart rate. But if I start to feel like I am exerting too much effort, I keep myself in check by looking at the heart rate. As the chart shows, I didn't do tempo runs for nearly a month because I had a 10K race and a half marathon. Those races took the place of my tempo runs. I'll do a tempo run this week and next week, which will be three weeks in a row of solid tempos.

Long Runs: So far, I have kept almost all of my long runs easy. My coach suggests a fast finish at marathon pace approach for all long runs, but given how long my training cycle has been, I wanted to reserve those runs for later in the cycle and not burn myself out too early on them. I'm just now getting the point where I feel ready to start doing those fast-finish long runs at marathon pace, or adding marathon pace miles into the long runs as my coach suggests. So far, I have done a 20-miler and a 21-miler. I have two more 20+ milers on the schedule before the marathon, which will give me a total of 4. I've never done that many before but my body is holding up pretty well so far.

I couldn't be more pleased with how my training has progressed over the past several months.I hope to continue the trend in February!

Cold Weather Running Musings

The big news in the Washington D.C. metro area is that it's cold! Yes, temperatures are below average but it's really nothing that should be seen as out of the ordinary. This weather is to be expected in mid-January and I can deal with it. I have to admit I do start to complain when it's 80 degrees in March or if there's 50 MPH winds or something out of the ordinary. But weather that's perfectly in line with the time of year and not some extreme weather event doesn't at all bother me.

And with that, I present some observations and opinions on marathon training in winter weather.

Having the Right Tools
An analogy my sports psychologist frequently uses is that of having the right "tools" to handle certain situations. He says that if it's 20 degrees out and all you have on is shorts and a t-shirt, you won't feel prepared to go outside. But if you have a warm coat and some gloves, then you'd feel better about the situation. Kind of obvious, but it's useful to think about in terms of my past marathon anxiety issues. In the past, I would go out and try to run a marathon without the proper tools. It was the equivalent of going outside in 20-degree weather in just shorts and a t-shirt. As a result, I was anxious and my body would react to the extent that I couldn't even finish the race.

Now, I have many tools in my arsenal to manage potential race anxiety. I have a hat and a warm pair of gloves and some fleece-lined pants. Also known as a process-focused mindset, a realistic understanding of the wide range of outcomes that could occur, and separation of myself as a person from my running. I understand which elements elements of the race I will control and which ones I won't, and I have ways of feeling in control at times when I might have otherwise felt out of control. Simply knowing that I have these tools and I've used them successfully in past races makes me feel confident and more relaxed going into the marathon. While there are no guarantees that I won't blow-up, I have no reason to believe that it would happen again, given that I am starting the race in an entirely different spot.

Tool Recommendations
Moving toward the more literal definition of tool, I have discovered some great running gear to help me feel comfortable in temperatures in the teen's. I typically don't review running products in my blog, but I make exceptions for items that are extremely helpful.

Brooks Wanganui Cabrio Mittens

• Smart Wool socks. The ones I use are almost as thin as my summer socks but keep my feet from going numb. This is no easy task as I have a pretty bad case of Reynaud's syndrome in my feet. The key, though, is to start running as soon as I get outside so my feet don't  have a chance to get cold beforehand. 
• Mizuno Breath Thermo base layers. I have a pair of Mizuno Breath Thermo gloves and a Breath Thermo half-zip shirt.On their own, they are okay, but they really work their magic as a base layer. Why? Because when you sweat, the material supposedly gets warmer so instead of the sweat making you cold, it makes you warm. This is an important property for the layer that's closest to your skin.
• Brooks Wanganui Cabrio Mittens. The Mizuno gloves don't do much on their own, but when warn with Brooks Cabrio Mittens and a set of Little Hotties hand warmers, they are awesome. Here's how it works: the Mizuno gloves are the base layer, then I put on the Brooks mittens, which are convertible into gloves. I insert one pair of the hand warmers into each glove (two pairs total) so that both the outside and the inside of my fingers are warmed. This solution kept my hands from going numb on a 9-mile run in 12 degree weather.
• Brooks Utopia Thermal Pants. My sister got me these for Christmas and they are a must-have. Last winter, I had to put tights underneath other running pants so that my butt and legs wouldn't freeze.  And that solution was uncomfortable and still very cold. These new Brooks pants are fantastic! I reserve them for temperatures under 25 degrees and they keep my legs and butt warm while still being a lightweight material. They are expensive, but I don't think I could run in such cold temperatures without a pair of pants of this caliber.

You don't get a medal for training in the cold.

While I do believe that training "in the elements" is valuable, it's okay to draw a line somewhere and opt for a treadmill. You can get just as good of a workout on a treadmill as you can outside, but there are some caveats. The primary one is injury. While a treadmill is arguably a softer and more forgiving surface than the road, most people change their gait on a treadmill. If you do nearly all of your running outdoors and then switch to a treadmill, your gait will alter and there is the potential for injury. That's how I ended up with three stress fractures a few winters ago. I also did treadmill intervals on a business trip back in October and my legs were sore for two days after. I had to pool run when I got home because they were so sore. That would not have happened on a track.

Putting the injury potential aside, I think that treadmill running can be useful when the roads are icy and unsafe. Or if you just don't feel like bundling up and going out in the cold. There is really no shame in running on a treadmill-- and there is really nothing commendable about running in very cold weather. You do what you need to do to get the training in.

Personally, I will opt for the 'mill if the road is icy and I'm worried about slipping. I'll also do the treadmill if there's a thunderstorm or more than 25 mph sustained winds. And occasionally on business trips if there is nowhere safe to run. However, I will not run more than 8 miles on a treadmill at a time. And I won't run on it more than 2-3 days a week. And as I learned in October, I won't do treadmill intervals anymore. Pool running would be preferable.

Scheduling Flexibility Is Important

I like having a training plan and I have one now. I went without training plans for about a year because I wanted to take things one week at a time, but now I am focused on the big picture and it's important to know what my overall training cycle will look like. The key thing to remember with a plan is that it should be flexible based on how your body feels and on life circumstances. Winter weather is a life circumstance that warrants some scheduling flexibility.

This week, I had planned to run my tempo run on Thursday. Wednesday was a scheduled rest day. I woke up on Wednesday morning and my legs did not feel like they needed to rest. I looked at the forecast and noticed it was supposed to snow that evening, meaning the roads would potentially be unsafe for Thursday's tempo. The current weather was 12 degrees with very minimal wind. No snow or ice on the ground. Pretty nice weather for a tempo, and if I had waited until Thursday I wouldn't have been able to do it at all. 

I adjusted on the spot. Got dressed in my trusty Brooks Utopia pants and layered on the gloves/mittens and did my tempo a day early. The run was fantastic-- my fastest 5-mile tempo ever while keeping my heart rate in the low LT zone. Including warmup and cooldown it was 9 miles total and it felt good! Actually it was much more comfortable than running a tempo in 70-degree weather. I just don't run very well in the heat/humidity so I will take 12 degrees over 70 on a speed work day or a race day.

I had my rest day on Thursday when there was snow on the ground and I did a short treadmill run this morning as there was still snow and ice. I'm not sure how I will manage my long run tomorrow with this ice and snow on the ground, but I'll try to find a mile or two of non-slippery pavement to run back and forth on. My teammates are running the Rock Creek loop (which may or may not be icy), but I need to stay close to home because of other plans I've made.

I think I've belabored this topic long enough! I'm looking forward to some warming next week so that the ice and snow will melt and running outside will be safe.

Walt Disney World Half Marathon Race Report

As I mentioned in my previous post, I ran the Walt Disney World Half Marathon on Saturday. Definitely an interesting experience!

Before The Race
Warning: this is perhaps the longest "before the race" section I have ever written in a blog. I'll do it timeline style.

3:00am-3:45am: Wake Up, Eat Breakfast, Get Dressed

Greg and I woke up at 3:00am and it wasn't pretty. I hadn't slept well because I typically don't sleep well the first night in a hotel room. I'm not sure why, I guess I'm just not used to my surroundings. We quickly had our bagels with peanut butter, drank plenty of fluids and got dressed for the race. I had bought a new skirt at the expo the day before (the same brand I always wear) that helped me feel more Disney-like.

3:45am-4:20am: Drive To The Race, Park, Drop Off Bag
There was no traffic on the way to the race, which we were very thankful for. However the directions in the race information said "follow signs to Epcot" and the road we needed to take did not say "Epcot". This resulted in us missing our exit. We eventually turned around and followed other cars to get there. The instructions told us not to use GPS because roads would be closed off and there was only one way to drive there.

Parking was easy, and it wasn't a far walk to the baggage drop. We actually didn't want or need to check a bag, but the rental car key chain was huge, and neither Greg and I wanted to run with the two keys plus a huge key chain. There was no way to separate out just one key, so we checked a whole bag just for that.

4:20am-4:55am: Porta Potty Line
We waited in line for over half an hour to use the porta potty. And I had to go really, really badly. My stomach was really upset (normal pre-race butterflies) and it was very painful just waiting there with nothing I could do to make the line go faster. I suspected that there were probably porta-potties that were less crowded closer to the start, but we didn't want to risk there not being any and losing a spot in line. I think my entire line knew how much pain I was in. Finally, Greg and I got to use the porta potties. We were very quick about it and were off to walk to the race start.

4:55am-5:20am: Walk To The Corral
The was by far the worst part of the morning. Even worse than waiting in the porta-potty line because I was worried we would miss the opportunity to get in our corral and be stuck behind thousands of slower runners. The walk to the corral was through just one walkway and there were thousands of runners all headed the same way on a road that wasn't large enough. We walked at a snail's pace and sometimes even had to stop dead in our tracks. I tried getting around people but it was no use.

According to the race information, you had to be in the corral by 5:00am. Well, this wasn't happening for all the runners around us. I wasn't too worried about them not letting us into the corral, but I was worried that I would never reach it in time. It was a far walk and we had to walk soooo slowly. Finally we saw a sign for corrals A-E to go one way and the rest of the corrals to go another way. This helped with the crowd a little, but not entirely. We still had to walk past corral E, D, C, etc. to get to our corral A, and these were very large corrals. There were over 20,000 runners.

5:20am-5:30am: Get In Corral, Find A Good Spot In Corral, Tie Shoes
We got to the corral at about 5:20 and the National Anthem was starting. I hadn't even tied my shoes to be "race ready" yet. I did that and then Greg and I moved up in the corral. We got about 2/3 of the way up, and there were still many runners in front of us. I didn't think this was close enough but it was too crowded to get any closer. There was no time to review my race strategy or prepare mentally. The fireworks were going off and the race was starting.

Miles 1-3
The race started and it was very crowded. My plan was to take the first three miles easy, and I didn't want to waste energy weaving through people. Greg, who was planning on running the race faster than me, tried to get up ahead of me but then caught up to me halfway through the first mile. "Honey, I was trying to get ahead of you!" he said. I looked at my Garmin. It read an 8:25 pace. We were definitely both feeling the effects of not getting up close enough. At that point I think I told him again good luck and we separated for good.

I heard two guys around me talking about the B&A marathon. I thought this was really coincidental because B&A is such a small race in Maryland. What are the chances of them having run it? I told them I was planning on running it in March and they warned me about the wind during miles 9-18. I was chatting with them about the course for awhile and then realized I needed to be focused on the race I was currently running! I ran ahead and passed the first mile marker. 8:14. Slower than I wanted, but there wasn't much I could do at that point. I wasn't going to deviate from my strategy because the first mile was slow. I decided to still take the first 5K easy, at around an 8:00 pace.

At this point, I started thinking more about the paces I wanted to run. I felt like I had a lot working against me in this race. I hadn't slept well the night before, or two nights before. I had a lot of anxiety during the hour before the race, which I am sure caused a spike in my heart rate. The weather was humid and around 63, and I wasn't at all acclimated. I decided to just play it safe. No PRs for me-- I just wanted to run smart and not crash. (In hindsight, I wish I was a little more bold, but it's really hard to know what will happen at mile 10 when you are at mile 2).

In terms of a time goal, at the very least, I wanted to go sub-1:46. I plan to run the Chicago marathon in the fall and I need a 1:45:59 or faster half marathon to qualify for Corral C, where I know Greg will be. I knew I was in shape to go sub 1:46, even in the humid weather. I didn't really know how much under, nor did I want to speculate. I was going to try and keep average race pace under 8:00, and see how I felt.

Mile 1: 8:14
Mile 2: 7:55
Mile 3: 8:00

Miles 3-6

The arrow is pointing at Cinderella's Castle

It was still pitch dark, but there was plenty of lights on the course. There were photo opps along the way with Disney characters and with Disney scenery. I noticed people stopping to have their picture taken. I thought it would be cool to come back here and do a "fun run" where I stopped for all the photos. At around mile 5, I finally started to feel like I was getting into my groove. The pre-race anxiety had passed, there wasn't any more crowding, the course was nice and flat, and I had a rhythm going. I had taken my first Honey Stinger Gel at mile 4, so I was feeling good.

Then we entered the Magic Kingdom. I saw the castle in the distance all lit up and it was so beautiful. But once we got into the park, I was not loving life. It was twists and turns and curves and I had to focus really hard on running the tangents and even staying on the proper race course. It seemed like lots of people around me were going off course to get their photo taken or to say hi to their spectators. At least twice, someone who I was running directly behind went off course, and it threw me. Since it was dark, you had to really pay attention to where the cones were. As exciting as it was to be running in such a "magical" area, it was mentally draining to have to focus so hard on where I was going and having to make so many curves.

The photo to the right is a perfect example of me scoping out a tangent while the other runners are looking straight ahead.

Mile 4: 7:56
Mile 5: 7:46
Mile 6: 7:50 (through Magic Kingdom)

Miles 7-10
Most runners would probably say this was their least favorite part of the course. Not a lot of crowd support, nothing really exciting going on, just running from the Magic Kingdom back to Epcot. I, however, really enjoyed the fact that it wasn't as curvy and that there wasn't as much hoopla. I know, I know, I shouldn't be running the Disney Half Marathon if I don't like a lot of hoopla and excitement. But if I'm putting out a lot of effort, all of that stuff is just mentally jarring and exhausting. I appreciate running by a nice lake or ocean with maybe a few spectators cheering for me. But the loud marching bands, the massive crowds of spectators-- I really could do without all of that.

I had my other Honey Stinger at mile 8.5, drank the rest of my G2 and then tossed the bottle. I always love that point in the race where I can toss my bottle. I feel more "free" and I know the end is near. It was starting to get tough here, but not nearly as tough as it was in Richmond. I don't think I put out the effort in this race that I did in Richmond. Overall, I'm fine with that, but part of me wonders why I felt the need to play it safe. I had over a month of 50+ mile weeks under my belt and some really fantastic speed workouts. I think I let the weather get to my head. Yes it was warm and humid and not as nice as the 35-degree weather I train in. But it wasn't disastrous. I guess I am still learning how my body reacts in different weather conditions and learning when it's okay to push a little hard and I truly do need to be conservative.

Anyway, I enjoyed the peacefulness of these miles. I was working hard, but I felt good. I was enjoying being out there.

Mile 7: 7:46
Mile 8: 7:50
Mile 9: 7:50
Mile 10: 7:51    

Miles 11-Finish
Unlike my last 10K and my recent track workouts, I did use the Garmin during this race. I wanted to make sure I kept that pace under 8:00 so as to be sure to qualify for Corral C in Chicago. At this point in the race, the Garmin was showing 7:55, which made me feel confident I would get my sub-1:46, but you never know how "long" the course will be because you didn't run the tangents perfectly. Especially in a race like this where there were so many curves. And the curves weren't just in the Magic Kingdom, they seemed to be all over the course.

At the start of mile 11 was a rather long uphill that I wasn't expecting. It wasn't horrible, but it was getting late in the race and I didn't realize there was going to be a hill. One of the volunteers was telling runners "just get to the top of the hill and then it's all downhill to the finish". I believed him, but he was wrong. There were still a few more hills to come. Usually I try to just maintain my effort up a hill as opposed to my pace, but since it was so late in the game, I decided to go for it and work the hills at a harder effort.

The last mile was through Epcot Center. I hated this as a last mile. I felt like I had energy left in the tank to expend, which would have been perfect for a straight away, but there were tons of twists and turns which kept ruining my momentum. We ran around the big fountain which I later named "the fountain of death" because who wants to run around a fountain during the last mile of their half marathon? I kept waiting for that long straightaway where the finish line would be far in the distance and I could just kick it hard, but I was just twisting and turning through Epcot until I saw the mile 13 marker. It was a pretty strong last mile, but I just didn't feel like I was able to really finish off my tank.

Soaked in sweat

Finally I saw the finish line and gunned it. And the race was over!

Mile 11: 8:02
Mile 12: 7:42
Mile 13: 7:47
Last 0.19:  (6:48 pace)

After The Race
I glanced down at the Garmin and saw an average 7:52 pace which I was happy with because I steadily watched that average pace come down over the course of the race. Hot weather blow-up successfully avoided!

My official time was 1:43:48.
I placed 23rd out of 2,090 women ages 30-34
I placed 128 out of 13,128 women

I'm definitely happy with these rankings!  After I got my medal, I found Greg and we went directly to baggage check for our car keys. He set a PR at 1:36:48, which is about 2 minutes faster than his time at the Philly Rock 'N Roll Half in September.

We drove back to our resort, showered and relaxed and spent the rest of the day at the Magic Kingdom. Sunday was Animal Kingdom and Monday was Epcot. I'll do another blog to recap all the fun we had at the parks!

Final Thoughts
As I try to be less of a perfectionist and go easier on myself, I find two sides of myself at battle. On the one hand, I'm pleased as can be because I ran a strong race with negative splits in conditions that were far from ideal. I ran the time that I planned to run and qualified for my Chicago corral. Plus, this was my second-fastest half marathon ever.This is all great stuff.

I've been trying hard to focus on everything above, but perfectionist in me wishes I had been less conservative and less afraid of the weather. And she's a bit frustrated that she hasn't set a PR since April of 2012. Not like I expected Disney to be a half marathon PR, I guess I am just getting impatient.

When I think back on this race I want to remember that I ran it smart, that it is my fastest "warm weather" half marathon and that it was just the beginning to a very fun vacation with my wonderful husband. My 2013 racing has just begun and I plan to do some amazing things this year.

I'm Going to Disney World!

I'm going to Disney World tomorrow! Yipee! I can't wait. Greg and I leave tomorrow morning and return on Tuesday afternoon. Greg hasn't been there since he was a small child, and I've only been there a handful of times.

What am I most excited about? The zebras in Animal Kingdom. I've never been to that park and I found out that they added 15 new zebras in October, making them guaranteed to be visible during the ride. I hope the ride stops long enough to take plenty of photos and just enjoy the magical presence of these fantastic animals. Yes, I do realize I could go to a zoo and see zebras, but not this many all at once. And I have been to zoos where the zebras are really far away so you don't get a good view.

I'm also excited about dinner in Cinderella's castle on Saturday night, a reservation we had to make months in advance, and exploring all the countries in Epcot. I can't wait to find the perfect souvenirs for my little nieces, one of whom is obsessed with Tangled.

Oh yes, and there's also that half marathon on Saturday morning. It totally doesn't feel like I am racing. I typically get way more fired up for a race, even just a 5K. I guess my focus really is on the trip itself and all the fun I will have, and the race is just one piece of that. Also, since the weather is forecast to be hot and humid, I really don't care about my time. I definitely want to go out there and run the best race I can and prepare well for the conditions, but I know my time will be a far cry from what I could do if the race was in DC this weekend. Once again, good practice for being process-focused and not results-focused.

Am I bothered by this weather? Not as much as I probably would have been in the past. And the annoyance that does exist comes from the fact that it's typically much cooler for this race and not as humid, but Florida is going through an unseasonably hot/humid spell right now. I feel like I just bring warm weather with me whenever I travel for a race!

Anyway, I've accepted this weather and I'm going to prepare as best I can, given that I am not at all acclimated. I've been sleeping well, I'm hydrating, I have no nagging aches/pains and I'm far more focused on having fun this weekend then my race performance.

If you'd like to track my race, my Twitter account will be tweeting my splits. Follow me at @Elizabeth1111.

Things that I am hoping to bring home with me:
1. A zebra from one of the Animal Kingdom shops, and probably other zebra stuff
2. A big shiny Disney medal
3. Souvenirs for my nieces and nephew
4. Several extra pounds from all the yummy food (well, I'm not hoping for the lbs, just the food!)
5. A great set of photos to remember the trip by
6. A suntan. Hey- if it's going to be really hot, let me have something to show for it!
7. Greg. (Just stating the obvious here.)

I have been looking forward to this trip for a very long time and I am so happy it's finally here!

2013 Goals

A year ago, my yearly goals would have looked something like this:

Marathon: Sub-3:35
Half Marathon: Sub-1:40
10K: Sub-45:00
5K: PR
Miles to run: 2000+
Injury Free.

They don't look like that now. I've changed and grown quite a bit over the past year and a result, I see my running in a different light.

Before I can set my 2013 goals, I think I need to take a look at where I am now. My goals are to continue to hone the "tools" that will make me a happier person and a stronger runner, both physically and mentally. These tools or skills aren't a "yes/no"-- rather, they exist on a spectrum of how strongly they can hold up with  increased amounts of pressure or adversity. I have quite a few of these, but I am going to go with my top 5 skills that I want to strengthen in 2013.

• Focusing on the process of running a race, as opposed to the outcome
• Not comparing myself to other people
• Separating my running from myself as a person-- not defining myself as "a runner"
• Focusing on the big picture of my running- not any one individual race
• Attaching emotions to the process (ex: being happy about executing my race strategy)

The better I am at each of these, the less anxiety I will feel about running and racing, the better I will sleep, the more relaxed I will feel, the more content I will be. And ultimately, this is what leads to strong performance.

A year ago, I didn't have any of these skills. One bad race would upset me so much and overshadow the big picture of my running and all the hard work I did during training. And I couldn't let it go-- I couldn't separate out my running from other parts of my life and who I was as a person. A "bad" race would hang a dark cloud over me for days. I knew I had anxiety issues that were impacting my marathons and the more I tried to get myself to relax, or convince myself that I didn't care about the time, the more anxiety I generated. I finally put a stop to the cycle and committed 100% to learning how to be kinder to myself.

With 1 being "I don't have this skill yet" and 5 being "I have this skill and I am extremely confident that it will hold up in any circumstance, even extremely high pressure ones", here is how I evaluate myself now.

Focusing on the process of running a race, as opposed to the outcome. Now: 3. Goal: 4
I've demonstrated this skill at my past 4 races, including my most recent race where I felt like I was physically in shape to PR. However, none of these race were what I would have previously considered "goal races" so there wasn't as much pressure as there might have been if the race was my "A" race. I'd don't know if I will ever be able to push this to a 5 because I've always been so focused on my time goals, but I think I can get this to a 4 with more practice. A "4" would be where after the race, I'm still thinking in terms of process and not judging my race result. 

Not comparing myself to other people. Now: 3. Goal: 4

I've made huge strides here. I used to constantly compare myself to others. I don't do it as much anymore, but that's because I am literally having to remind myself not to. A 4 or 5 would be when the temptation is not even there and the thought doesn't even cross my mind to compare my running to someone else's

Separating my running from who I am as a person. Now: 4. Goal: 5

I never did this before because I didn't think it was important. Actually, I thought that all successful runners were completely defined by their sport and ate, breathed, and slept it. I've opened my eyes and taken a good look around me and realized that the most successful athletes I know are not at defined by their running. It's just one aspect of their life and they aren't carrying it into conversations at parties or into the workday, or letting it just occupy their mind 24/7. So once I realized that separation is actually a very good thing, I adapted nicely. I think I'm at a 4 because I still find my mind wandering to running when it really should be focused on something else. But only occasionally and I see this happening less and less.

Focusing on the big picture of my running- not any one individual race. Now: 3. Goal: 5
Perhaps a bit aggressive to move this to a 5, but I think I can. Marathon training is really focused around one goal race and all the workouts, etc. are timed accordingly. Therefore, it's hard not to see the marathon as the "A" race of the season and everything else as "B" and "C". But I really want to put everything on a level playing field. No one race defines my training cycle. And there aren't races that are "just for fun" and "for time". Every race should be fun. And I should care about my time for every race, although not have it be the main focus. As I explained in a previous post, only 20% of races are likely to be PRs. And 50% of them are likely to not go my way. That's just how the sport is at my level, and I want to accept that within the big picture of 2013.

Attaching emotions to the process. Now: 4. Goal: 5

I've always done a little bit of this. I've always been really satisfied with my training and proud when I ran a race to the best of my ability. But it's always been overshadowed by the race result, since my emotions were more strongly attached to that number, and not the process. I've had so many fantastic training cycles for marathons, and had marathons where I ran the best race I possibly could given the circumstances- be it heat, an upset stomach, or whatever. And I was proud of myself for that, but that feeling of pride was never the dominant feeling after the race. I have a more realistic view of racing now, and there is no reason why I can't always run the best race I have in me that day and be proud of it. 

In closing, I think I have progressed more as an athlete in 2012 than any other year prior. Ironically, I only have one PR to show for it. But I think I needed to go through mono and other adversity to get some perspective and to "practice" skills that would be hard to learn if I was in peak condition physically. With these goals in mind, I am ready to embrace whatever 2013 brings. 

Ringing In Hope 10K: Strong, Not Clumsy

I ran the Ringing In Hope 10K this afternoon at 1:00pm. Definitely a weird time for a race, but it worked out great.

Ringing In Hope offers a New Year's Eve race and also a summer race. Greg and I have run every New Year's Eve race and summer race since they began in December 2010. We like this race because it's relatively close to our house (20 minutes), the parking is easy, and the course is decent. It's not flat as advertised-- however the hills are manageable because they aren't steep. They are quite long, though.

It was time to put my sports psychology stuff to work. My past few races have all been mono comeback races, so there was no PR on the line. No pressure to perform. Going into today's race, I knew I was in excellent shape but I wanted to keep the same relaxed mindset I had at the Turkey Trot and the Richmond Half Marathon. I wanted to focus on my race strategy as opposed to a time goal. Here are the things I was super focused on in the days leading up to the race:

• Run the first half relaxed, and then really hammer it home in the second half. Note: the course is two loops, so the first 3 miles are the same as the second 3 miles.
• Do not look at the Garmin until after crossing the finish line.
• Instead of looking at the Garmin, focus on running strong, pushing your hardest and trusting that you will run the best race you have in you that day.

So, this race was really all about trusting myself and my ability to pace myself while also pushing hard. Lately, I have been running all of my interval workouts without looking at the Garmin until after I am done with each interval. I've been hitting (and even beating) all of my target paces, so I had every confidence that if I run by feel, I would be able to pace it appropriately. By doing my intervals on the track without looking at the Garmin, I know that it's a more "freeing" way to run. I am focused on getting around the track, looking ahead of me, and focusing on my form. I cannot focus on all of that stuff when I am looking at the Garmin and thinking about that number. 

Usually I consider the Garmin an important part of restraining myself in the beginning of a race and not going out too fast. But today I was going to trust myself. I had no idea what I was capable of, and I didn't want to restrain too much. I also didn't want to have negative thoughts going through my head if my paces weren't as fast as I had hoped for.

I've been told many times over the past few years to try racing without the Garmin. I've actually run some 5Ks that way, and they turned out pretty well. Last May, I ran a 5K on a very hilly course without looking at the Garmin. I knew I was running at my absolute maximum effort. My time wasn't even close to my PR, but I  won my age group and walked away feeling confident that I gave it everything I had. If I had been looking at the Garmin, I think I might have gotten discouraged and let negativity creep in, which is never good during a race. 

This non-Garmin thing was somewhat of a risk. But my sports psychologist is always telling me that I need to "try stuff" and if it doesn't work out, then I need to see it as valuable learning. I was willing to risk going out too fast or poor pacing in order to see if this approach would work. 

So there were many reasons for not using the Garmin. This is not to say that a successful race would cause me never to look at my Garmin again during a race-- I'm not trying to make rules for myself. But it would be nice to have it as a potentially helpful option.

Alright, enough about the Garmin or lack thereof. I had to come up with a fueling strategy for a 1:00pm race. Typically I eat a bagel with peanut butter for breakfast two hours before a race and that works well. But now, I would need to be eating more than once beforehand. I decided I would stick with my bagel and peanut butter at 10:30, so that I would have just over 2 hours to digest it. And then I would also have a bagel (sans PB) for breakfast, as well as a banana, at around 8:00. I also drank plenty of water.

Before the Race

Greg and I arrived at the race and began our warmup with one of our teammates, Cristina. The warmup ended up being 2.5 miles, which was good because it was cold out. 37 and overcast. But after the warmup, I felt hot. I went to my car and changed from my long-sleeved shirt into my singlet. I knew I might be cold, but cold was better than hot. 

During that process, I accidentally left my gloves in the car. There was still about 15 minutes until the race and Greg went to the bathroom, I chatted with my coach, we did some jogging around to stay warm. All of a sudden, I realized I didn't have my gloves. Instead of panicking, I just booked it back to the car. There was only 5 minutes until race start but I knew I could not run this race without gloves. I have reynaud's syndrome and my hands get numb and start to feel frostbitten very easily. I sprinted back to the car, which was almost a quarter mile away. I didn't want to panic about being late to the start, but I did need those gloves. I worried that running so fast just 3 minutes before the start was wasting precious energy, but the gloves were worth it. I did a jog back to the starting line, and arrived just as they were finishing the national anthem. 

Mile 1

Mile 1, Photo Courtesy of G. Buckheit

Greg and I started a little further back in the crowd than I would have liked, especially with lots of kids in front of us. It was a weaving game for most of the first mile, and I tried not to expend too much energy doing so. The first 2/3 of the first mile is uphill. It's a very long hill, but not that steep. I focused on my effort level and not my speed. It's tough to know what pace to start a 10K. Everything of course feels great at the beginning, but you never know how you will feel a few miles into it. 

Miles 2-3

It wasn't until the second mile that I had passed most of the kids and felt like I had my own area to run in. I noticed a teenage kid who was running very sloppily and clumsily. I wondered how I looked. I told myself, "run strong, not clumsy" and that became the mantra that I repeated over and over again for the rest of the race. These mantras just come to me in the middle of races and they are always different! Somewhere in the third mile there was a photographer with a "smile" sign. It was the professional race photographer. I smiled and tried to get a nice photo.

Mile 4

During this mile, I had two women in my sights-- both looked younger than me. One was about 4-5 seconds ahead of me, and the other was about 10 seconds ahead of me. I caught the first one and we were neck-and-neck for awhile. I encouraged her by saying "we got this" but at the end of the forth mile she had fallen behind. The other woman was running really steady and I used her as a bit of a pacer. 

Something that I noticed that was very annoying was the cone placement. I have run this course many times in the past and there never have been cones. They essentially had us running the widest part of the course, so that it was impossible to run the tangents without feeling like we were cheating. In the past, there were never any cones, so I could run the tangents of the neighborhood streets, and the distance ended up being pretty close to 6.2 miles. I kept hearing my Garmin beep well before I passed the mile markers, so based on that, and the fact that the cones prevented us from running the tangents made me suspect that the course would be long. 

Mile 5-6

Running by feel sometimes means closing your eyes!

This was when things really started to hurt and I really had to hang in there. I just kept pushing and pushing at the same effort level and refused to back off.  That last mile seemed to last forever and I kept wondering when that final hill would come because I knew that would mean the end was close.

I passed the photographer with the "smile" sign again. This time I did not smile- I was pushing too hard!

I saw some of my teammates who had finished the 5K during the last mile. They cheered loudly for me and that helped perk me up. The final hill came, it seemed to go on forever, but I powered up it focusing on my form-- strong not clumsy!!! And then there was a nice downhill finish and I really picked up the pace for a very strong final kick. As I approached the finish line, I saw the clock was reading 45:xx. As I crossed it had just turned into 46:00, but since I started a little far back, I was pretty hopeful that I broke 46:00.

After the Race

I saw my teammates and Greg and everyone was all giddy. Most of them had run the 5K, but a few of them had done the 10K. Greg set a new PR of 43:22, which is about a minute faster than his previous PR from the summer. He's getting super fast!

My teammates and I after the race. Can you tell who ran the 10K?

I looked at my Garmin and realized I had averaged a 7:18 pace for the run. This is the exact same pace as my PR from last November when I ran a 45:19.  However, this course was 6.3 miles according to my Garmin (and 6.33 according to Greg's Garmin) so instead of tying my PR, I ended up with a 45:57. I don't want to get hung up on the fact that I could have potentially PRed this race had the course been a true 10K, but it is a little bit frustrating to not "get credit" for the pace you actually ran. It seems that the course was measured properly for the tangents but the new addition of the cones made everyone run really wide.

I was super excited to see my splits and find out how my pacing was after the race. Here's what the Garmin said:

Mile 1: 7:23

Mile 2: 7:17

Mile 3: 7:19

Mile 4: 7:24

Mile 5: 7:07

Mile 6: 7:26

Final 0.3:  6:38 pace

Since this course was 2 laps around the same loop, I find it interesting that I ran the 5th mile 10 seconds faster than the 2nd mile. 

I think I paced this race very well without the Garmin and I'm glad I didn't use it. I was super excited that I ran pretty much the same pace as my PR, only for a little longer and on a hillier course. As suspected, my training over the past two months has put me in excellent shape, and I'm excited to continue the streak of strong, relatively high mileage. I was very process-focused for this race, I didn't have a specific outcome goal in mind although I wanted to break 46. I slept very well in the days leading up to the race and I thoroughly enjoyed the afternoon.

Greg and I stuck around to see if perhaps I won an age group award. It was a decently competitive field with 10-year age groups, so I thought my chances weren't particularly great. However, you never know! I took them a long time to get the results together and it was very cold. I had changed back into my long sleeves and jacket, but I was still freezing in the 36-degree weather. The announcer was rushing through the awards as fast as she could and I caught a glimpse of her paper to see that my name was listed! I won third place for the 30-39 age group with a time of 45:57. I was so excited about this. It was kind of anti-climatic claiming the award since they were rushing through them and so few people were left, but I was happy I stayed to get my $15 gift certificate.

Edit: I just looked at the results and it seems they gave me the award in error. I was actually 4th place. I hope they give whoever they left out their proper award!

End of Year Totals

No December 31 blog would be complete with my end-of-year running stats. Considering I had mono this year, which took me out for about three months, I think I fared pretty well mileage-wise. November and December were definitely my strongest months and I hope to carry the trend into 2013.

Total Miles Run: 1,584

Average Training Pace: 9:00/mi

Total Miles for December: 217.3

PRs: Just 1 PR this year. 10-mile PR in April at 1:15:52

Could have had a 10K PR today without those darn cones, but we won't go there. . . 

Happy New Year to all my blog readers. Wishing you healthy and happy running in 2013!

Racing hurts.
Photo courtesy of Cheryl Young

Setting The Bar

As a "recovering perfectionist" I am learning that I tend to set the bar too high. Previously, I would go into the majority of my races expecting PRs. Unless I was coming off of an injury, or the weather was warm, then I would shoot for a PR and then be disappointed when I didn't get it. I always thought this was a good thing because I wanted to set the bar high. I wanted to push myself. But now I am realizing that pushing oneself doesn't mean setting the bar high for every race in terms of a time goal.

There are three "levels" of performance, according to my sports psychologist. You can run the best race you have in you on race day, and end up in any one of these three areas.

1. You have your "bottom line" which is the range of times you would get if things didn't really go your way. You might expect to fall your bottom line range if the weather were hot, if you were coming off of an injury, if you just didn't "feel it" that day, if your nutrition or hydration were off. There are many reasons why you might run in your bottom line range. 

2. You have a "mid-range" area where if things went well, that's where you'd land. You felt good, the weather was decent, you had trained well, etc.

3. You have an "upper end" area where the PR and beyond lives. This happens when you have an amazing day, everything comes together. You're feeling great, you've trained well, you're well rested going into it, etc.

Of course, there are always the out-liers on the bottom end, like if you injure yourself during the race, or have major digestive issues, etc. That wouldn't be considered part of #1, that would just be an extenuating circumstance, which happens to everyone from time to time.

In a given year, how often can I expect to be at #3? Previously, I was expecting more than 50% of my races to be at #3. This isn't realistic-- at least not for someone who has been running for as long as I have been. For experienced runners who have been running for awhile and are past the point of setting PRs at each race, it's realistic to be at #3 about 20% of the time. My sports psychologist told me that "normal" and "realistic" for experienced runners is 50% at the bottom line, 30% in the mid-range, and 20% at the upper end. He said if you ask elite marathon runners how often they run a marathon that they think is a very strong performance, they will say about 1 in 5. At the end of 2013, if half of my races are at my bottom line, and 30% are in the mid-range, and 20% are at the upper year, then it's been a good year. If I exceed that, then it's been a great year. 

He also said that if he were to interview the first 1,000 finishers of a large race, that probably 20% of them would have set PRs, 30% would have been in their mid-range, and half of them would have been at their bottom line. This was an eye opener for me. I don't think he's lying-- he's been in this profession for over 25 years. So I've been digesting this concept for awhile now and trying to apply it to myself.

This is not to say that I should only try to get a PR in 20% of my races. Rather, to understand that PRs are the exception, not the rule. And I also think the point is that I need to go into a race not trying for a particular time, but to do my best and focus primarily on how I will run the race, not what the result will be. This "setting the bar" is not so much about goal setting, but being realistic about how I review my performances afterwards. The key is that you can run to the best of your ability and land in any one of these three areas. Running the best race you can on a particular day does not necessarily equal a PR, even if you are in the best shape of your life.

In the past, I've always expected my marathons to be at the upper end.  My first six marathons were all PRs and everything went perfectly smoothly. In fact, I exceeded my expectations with every single one of them! Since I know I am capable of running fantastic marathons, I have always expected it out of myself. I figured that if I set the bar any lower than how I performed at my first six, then I would be doing a dis-service to myself. 

This is simply unrealistic and it creates a great deal of pressure, resulting in exactly the opposite of what I want. Going into each marathon, I knew I wouldn't be satisfied unless I was in that "upper end" of performance range, just like I had been for my first six. And as the years went by, I just felt more and more pressure to prove myself. Thus, my marathons have been a very long string of anxiety-related blow ups.

My sports psychologist wanted me to think about what specific ranges of times I would put in each bucket for 2013. The ultimate goal of training is to lower all of the ranges, but this doesn't happen overnight. I shouldn't be revising these buckets every time I race-- I need to be focused on more of the big picture of my running as opposed to any one specific race. Will I run a 3:30 marathon? Absolutely, I know I will. Will it be the next marathon I run? I don't know. I'm focusing now on the bigger picture of my running, and I won't let one race, one day, be the judgement of weeks and months and years of hard work and dedication. 

One of my many new year's resolutions is to set the bar high for myself in a completely different way. Instead of always trying to set PRs with my running I will have extremely high expectations in the areas of:

- Believing in myself and my ability to work hard

- Taking good care of my body

- Keeping running separate from other areas of my life

- Conducting constructive post-race reviews and weekly training reviews

- To have patience

- To compare only to myself-- not to other people

- To just let myself run without judgement

These are by no means easy for me, but they are all within my control. The bar is set for 2013, and I'm looking forward to a happy, healthy year!