DNF Aftermath

I've gotten a lot of feedback on my Shamrock experience and since my recap was rather grim, I feel the need to address some of the comments.

I'm not feeling much better about the situation, but I am going to continue running and training and doing what I love to do. I'm upset about this and I am going to allow myself to be upset until time makes it all better.

Most of the comments fell into three buckets:

Figure out what you do differently on marathon day so that you can address the issue and run great marathons.
My coach is in this camp. My response is that I'm fresh out of ideas. I don't do anything different on race day. Really the only difference is that I hydrate more, but I get plenty of electrolytes too, so I don't think I am over hydrating. I have the same shoes, the same nutrition, the same fitness level, the same sleep. I can't pinpoint anything, which is why I think there could be a subconscious mental aspect.

You had a bad day-- don't over analyze it. Just get back out there.
I could have said this in 2010. But it's happened so many times that there has to be something going on.

Focus on shorter distances (aka don't run marathons).
Shorter distances are great and I focus on them quite a bit. But I will continue to believe in myself and my ability to run a great marathon. I have done it many times before and I will be able to do it again.


I don't have any real solutions. I think the next time I run a marathon I'm not going to try and relax, I'm not going to try and "work" on my attitude. I am just going to be me. I am going to let myself feel whatever I feel-- anxiety, excitement, fear, longing. I'm just going to go with it.

And I'm going to wear headphones next time. All of my good marathons were with headphones. All of my bad marathons were without them. Somewhere along the way I told myself that it wasn't good to wear headphones during a marathon. Maybe I just need that music to get outside of my head and pull me along. I don't train with headphones because I am usually running with others. But when I run alone, I have headphones and I like it.

Time to get some sleep.

Same Sh*t, Different Day

I'm going to save myself some time here and ask you to read my 2010 Shamrock Race Report for a summary of what went on during yesterday's race. The link opens in a new window, so go ahead, click the link, and then come back.

Instead of Greg at the halfway point, substitute Coach George, who was waiting for me with a fresh bottle of G2. And substitute my desire for a BQ with a desire simply to run a strong race. There you have my 2012 Shamrock Marathon race report. Too sunny, not acclimated, felt tired at mile 9, wanted to stop at mile 11, pulled off course halfway.

And just like in 2010, those 13.1 miles took a lot out of my legs, even though my average pace was the equivalent of my "easy" long run pace (8:38). I'm left with no medal, no finisher's hat, just a pair of sore quads that will require at least three days of swimming before I will attempt to run again.

I'm through with analyzing why this happens to me over and over and over. Sleep, hydration, being relaxed, starting slowly, not obsessing over my goal time-- I've addressed all of these issues. My coach tells me I need to figure out what I am doing differently on race day, but I don't have any answers. It is what it is.

I want to quit running marathons, but both my coach and my husband tell me that I need to keep at it-- that one day it will all come together for me. One day, my 4-year streak of bonks and DNFs will come to an end. I don't know if I believe them, but I really enjoy training for marathons so I guess I'll keep doing it. I used to be a good marathoner. But that was over four years ago and maybe I just don't have it in me anymore.

I don't have much else to say about this. Same sh*t, different day.

Taper Song: Last Thursday Night

To be sung to the tune of Last Friday Night by Katie Perry (or the cast of Glee)


There's a flu bug at my job,
People coughing will not stop
Germs are all over the room
Like an elementary school
Gotta keep my distance far
Staying healthy’s just so hard
I can’t get the stomach flu
Staying far away from you

In my taper now
Germs are everywhere
I'm screwed
Oh well
Marathon to run
Wanna do my best
It’s true.
Damn

Last Thursday night
Yeah we ran 3 tempo miles
Pushed it hard while coach just smiled
It was hard but I survived
Last Sunday morn
We did our last longish-run
Kept it easy, kept it fun
Just 10 miles, training’s done
Last Friday night
And now that our taper’s here
Gotta hydrate, not drink beer
Marathon is coming near
Last Monday night
Yeah I slept a full eight hours
Dreamt of speedy running powers op, whoa
This Sunday morn
Race a marathon!
This Sunday night
Marathon is done!

Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Leaving work now in my car
Avoiding germs is just so hard
People coughing everywhere
Germs are all throughout the air
Think I need to wash my hands
Can’t let sickness kill my plans

In my taper now

Germs are everywhere

I'm screwed

Oh well

Marathon to run

Wanna do my best 

It’s true.

Damn

Last Thursday night
Yeah we ran 3 tempo miles
Pushed it hard while coach just smiled
It was hard but I survived
Last Sunday morn
We did our last longish-run
Kept it easy, kept it fun
Just 10 miles, training’s done
Last Friday night
And now that our taper’s here
Gotta hydrate, not drink beer
Marathon is coming near
Last Monday night
Yeah I slept a full eight hours
Dreamt of speedy running powers op, whoa
This Sunday morn
Race a marathon!
This Sunday night
Marathon is done!

Throwback Race Report: Shamrock 2008

I've written quite a few posts lately about my growth and change as a runner over the past few years. It's been a fantastic journey and even though I am stronger now (both mentally and physically) than I ever have been in the past, I would love to race a marathon that felt as awesome as Shamrock 2008.

Exactly four years ago I ran the best marathon of my life. Here's how I did it.

________________________

March 17, 2008


I ran the Shamrock Marathon yesterday morning in Virginia Beach.

The Start Line
I was optimistic as I approached the starting area. The winds didn’t seem to be as heavy as forecasted. I was expecting constant winds of 20 mph, but it was more of an occasional breeze, at least at the start line. It also wasn’t as cold as I had expected.

As I was walking around the start area, a photographer asked to interview me for his TV newscast. He asked me about my marathon experience, and my expectations for this race. I basically said that there were a lot of unknowns due to the wind, but that I was prepared and ready.

Miles 1-6
I started the marathon at a pace that felt relaxed and comfortable. Starting at mile 2, my shin began to hurt. I tried not to panic. I tried to ignore it. I was not about to let this muscle strain affect my running. I held steady. At around mile 3, I realized I was running around the 3:50 pace group. I was running a bit faster than them, though, and passed them after about half a mile. I wasn’t going for a sub-3:50, but I figured I would try to stay ahead of them for as long as possible, in case there was any shot of a 3:49. By mile 4, my shin stopped hurting. Or, I stopped noticing it. There was a timing mat at mile six, and my split was 52:46, for an average pace of 8:48 for the first six miles.

Mile 1: 8:41
Mile 2: 8:41
Mile 3: 8:52
Mile 4: 8:38
Mile 5: 8:44
Mile 6: 9:11


Miles 7-13
I started to feel really good, and I started to have hope that maybe I would run a good race and PR. A stretch goal was sub-3:50, because the 3:50 pace group still had not passed me by mile 13. There was a two-mile stretch on the boardwalk where the wind was just awful. There were headwinds at probably 15-25 mph (my estimate) and I tried drafting off of other runners. It helped, but then the person would either speed up, or I would want to go faster than the person I was drafting off of. I reached the half marathon marker in 1:54:50, averaging a pace of 8:46 for these miles.


Mile 7: 8:34 (fastest mile)
Mile 8: 8:40
Mile 9: 8:43
Mile 10: 8:51
Mile 11: 8:39 (I toughed it out through the wind!)
Mile 12: 8:54
Mile 13: 8:41

Miles 14-20
Just before mile 14, the crowd thickened. I found it hard to maintain a pace because the course had gotten really thin, with only room for 4 people across. I realized that it thickened because the 3:50 pace group had caught up with me, and it was a large group. The winds were still heavy from mile 13-17, so I used this to my advantage to draft off of these runners. The problem with running in such a tight pack was the water stations and being able to get water when I needed it. I hit the mile 18 timing mat at 2:37:42, for an average pace of 8:46. Things started to hurt at mile 16, and I started to worry a little. Usually in a marathon, nothing bothers me that much until mile 20 or even mile 21. I wondered how I would make it 10 more miles, but I quickly stopped that line of thinking. It’s much easier to take the race mile by mile. Just focus on getting to the next mile marker.


The 3:50 pace leader was amazing. He kept encouraging me and helping me along the way. He was entertaining and got my mind off the race.


Mile 14: 8:39
Mile 15: 8:42
Mile 16: 8:43
Mile 17: 8:36 (not sure how I pulled that off!)
Mile 18: 8:51
Mile 19: 8:44
Mile 20: 8:56


Miles 21-26
I reached the 20 mile marker in 2:55. This was about 5 minutes faster than Richmond. I told myself that if I stayed on pace, I could get a 5 minute PR or even better. I started to fade. As I approached mile 21, the 3:50 pace group started to get ahead of me. I could still see the 3:50 flag in the distance, but I was no longer with the pack, and I was running alone.

I came up with two new mind games on the spot. The first one was to visualize the mile marker pulling me toward it. I thought "the mile marker wants to get me. The mile marker needs me! I have to get to it! It’s tugging at me!" And that really helped as I convinced myself not to stop running in my pursuit of marker 23, 24, and 25.


It was tough. I had to dig really, really deep. Another thing that I started telling myself was that this pain was temporary. It wouldn’t last long. The race glory would last forever, but this pain and this situation was very, very temporary. And if I stopped, it would only prolong it. So, I just kept repeating to myself over and over "temporary. temporary. temporary." And it really helped! I persevered. I allowed myself to slow down a little bit, but I would not let myself walk. At this point, it was mainly just a mental struggle of stopping versus continuing. My legs were killing me!


Mile 21: 8:53
Mile 22: 9:02
Mile 23: 8:52
Mile 24: 9:03
Mile 25: 9:34 (slowest mile)
Mile 26: 9:21


The last 0.2This was the best part of the race. This is where I surprised myself and became my strongest racer. Maybe ever. I looked down at my watch as I passed the mile 26 marker and looked ahead at the finish. I told myself if I picked up the pace, I could sneak in under 3:52. I said "Your job, is to get to that finish line before your watch reads 3:52. Go for it now!"


My eyes were on the Finish Line arch. I kept my running form strong. I told myself that I really, really wanted a 3:51 and not a 3:52. And I did it!

I finished the race in 3:51:49. A Personal Record by 4:52 off of my Richmond time in November. This is an average pace of 8:51.
First half: 1:54:50Second half: 1:56:59

Out of all of the races I have ever run in my life, I would have to say that my final sprint for the last 0.2 was the toughest effort I have ever put out. I was in so much pain, and I didn’t think I could go any further, but I told myself that I had to get in under 3:52, and I did so comfortably.


I have now set a personal record in each of my six marathons. 

Goggles, Granite and Ghosts

I'm up bright and early on this Wednesday morning (4:30am) in preparation for daylight savings time this weekend. I'm gradually going to bed earlier and earlier, and waking up within the 4:00 hour so that the time change won't mess with my body clock during my final taper week.  But alas, today is a rest day, so what does one do at 4:30am? Blog!

Ghosts
There is a phenomenon that occurs during the taper known as "phantom pains". It's minor aches and pains that suddenly show up during the taper, but then quickly vanish for no known reason. Some folks say it's purely psychological and that you are just more paranoid about stuff, making you more aware of your body. Other folks say that that reducing your training volume causes things to in the body to settle and that there is a physiological reason for it.

On Saturday, I ran my last long run of 15.5 miles and it went well. Nothing fancy, just a progression run starting at a pace of about 9:15 and speeding up to just under 8:00 for the last bit. For the rest of the day, everything felt fine. I woke up the next morning, and my legs still felt good. My husband and I went to the grocery store, and during checkout I noticed that the inside of my knee was hurting. It was whenever I put weight on the leg. On the car ride home, I kept trying to feel exactly where it hurt, but I couldn't really pinpoint anything. I would think that I found a spot, but then it would move.

I didn't freak out, because I knew that logically injuries didn't just appear after a walk through the grocery store. But I did ice the area, which kept moving. Was it the inside of my knee? The back of my knee? My upper calf near the knee? My shin? All of these areas were suspect. But then 5-6 hours later, it vanished completely, never to be felt again.

To play it safe, I went pool running and swimming on Monday and everything continued to be fine. I did a track workout yesterday, and everything still was fine.

Goggles

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I have goggle issues. When I first started swimming for fitness about five years ago, I was fit for a pair of petite women's goggles. These never worked well for me, but I lived with them. Usually, I would spend the first 5 or so laps stopping at the end of the lane, dumping the water out and re-adjusting. Then I would be able to swim nonstop for another 5-10 laps, but have to readjust again. It was weird because they were so hit or miss. Sometimes they would work better than others. Sometimes I just got so frustrated that I would cut the swim short.

About a year ago I got fitted for another pair. This was also a women's goggle, but I think the difference was the shape or the sealing technology. The Aqua Sphere Kaiman Lady-- for those of you who know your goggles. These goggles didn't work well either. Sometimes they did, it just took awhile for me to position them exactly right so that water wouldn't get in them.

TYR Swimple for Kids

Last weekend when my husband drove past the swim store, I thought I might try yet again for another pair. I thought I might need a junior pair, so I tried a few on. I didn't immediately ask for help because I had been to this store for my previous two pairs and neither of them works. But one of the saleswomen came up to me and said "those are too big on you" very decisively. She told me I needed kids goggles. I tried on the TYR Swimple for kids and she said they fit me perfectly.

I went for a swim on Monday and wow! It was as easy as putting the goggles on, swimming, and then more swimming. No stopping. No water in my eyes. Very comfortable. This has changed swimming for me. Now maybe one day I might enter an open water swim. With unreliable goggles, that idea had kind of terrified me before. I can't believe it took me so many years to try this.

Granite
On Monday afternoon, I came home to find new granite counter tops in my master bathroom. The only problem-- it wasn't the granite that my husband and I had ordered. And it didn't match the cabinets or the tile!

Let's back up. Greg and I are having our master bathroom remodeled. We're changing almost everything except for the basic footprint and the cabinets. Back in December, we had spent several hours going from granite warehouse to granite warehouse to select the perfect one for our bathroom counter tops. We wanted to make sure we were matching the color of the new bathroom tile. We put a slab on reserve and the remodeling job started on Monday of last week. (There was a back order on our tile).

Everything except for the glass surround and the granite counter tops was complete by the end of last week. My husband and I spent a large part of our weekend dusting, sweeping, mopping and vacuuming from all the demolition dust. Naturally, we were super excited that the granite would be coming on Monday of this week.

Granite that we ordered

Granite that was installed (dots are the lights reflecting)

Bathroom that the granite needs to match.

 The cabinets are white.

I was so angry about this! I know it's just a counter top and I know it can be fixed, but it just angers me so much that they got it wrong! And now we have to have more demolition, more mess, etc. Apparently, our contractor thought that the granite place had sold our slab to someone else (even though they did not) and decided to just pick a different piece that they thought would be close. I think they were hoping we wouldn't notice, but there is a huge difference! They are are going to re-do it, but they are claiming it's not much of a difference. It's a huge difference!

I refuse to let this stress me out. I was very angry on Monday night and lost a few hours of sleep, but the morning track workout made things all better and I'm much calmer about it now. The correct granite should be installed either Friday or Monday.

It's only 5:35am now. Maybe I'll got take a nap.

A Timely Post

Ah time. What is the meaning of time? Okay, seriously, I am not trying to get all philosophical here, but I have been doing some self-therapy and self-exploring lately on this very topic. As I continue on my journey to transition from super obsessive, stressed-out runner to a calmer overall mental state, I've been thinking about where time fits in.

Pace Tattoo Targets a 3:40 for RnR Arizona 2009

To start, I began thinking about what my marathon time used to mean to me. I had to get a 3:40 or less. I had to! I knew that an 8:25 average pace would get me a 3:40:59 and an 8:23 would get me a 3:40:00 and I thought about these numbers constantly. I fantasized about crossing the finish line and seeing those numbers as I crossed. In training, whenever I got below an 8:23, I knew I was running faster than marathon pace. That was a magic number for me. During marathons, I wanted to start conservatively, but that usually meant a pace of 8:27, dropping to 8:20 by the end. You see, I had it all planned down to the exact pace of every mile.

And-- I felt entitled. I felt like I had done the training, I was in good shape, and therefore I deserved a specific time. If something went wrong on race day then I would feel like a huge injustice was done to me.

After the Bob Potts marathon in May of 2010, when I ran a disappointing 3:53, I started to realize how unhealthy this obsession with time was. I was tired of putting so much stock in a marathon time. It was just making me feel awful.

Next up was the NYC marathon which I ran for fun with my husband, followed by the Memphis Marathon four weeks later, which wasn't a target race. It wasn't until the fall of 2011 that I gave the marathon another serious try. Knowing how unhealthy my time-based thoughts were, and being a black-and-white thinker, I went in the complete opposite direction. Time doesn't matter at all. This is about enjoying the race and having fun. I don't have a time goal. I don't care about my time. I'm not stressed! I'm totally cool.

Lies, of course. And they will always be lies. Deep down, I didn't truly buy into that, and so I stressed about the race, didn't sleep well and wound up bonking shortly after the halfway point. Once again, I was making rules for myself about how stressed I was allowed to be. Rules about how I couldn't focus on pace or time. I definitely had made progress from 2010, but the absolutes were still there. I was lying to myself which made it even harder because I had to deny that my time mattered at all.

This left me wondering, so now what? I don't want to be obsessive about a time goal, but I don't want to lie to myself and say it doesn't matter.

I started to think about why it did matter so much to me for so long. For years, I would often ask myself why I cared so much about getting a specific time. And the answer was always "I just do!" When I really thought about it, I saw my marathon time is the validation of all my hard work. "Prove" that I was as fast and as capable of a runner as I believed myself to be. But at the same time, I knew I was working hard, so why the need for validation?

Looking back, I think it was insecurity. I needed that marathon time to proof to myself that I was capable. I also needed for everyone else to know that I was capable. I used to do the same thing with my weight. I needed the scale to read out a particular number to validate that I was thin. That I was "good" at being in control of my eating. And of course that's not a healthy attitude!

Back to my original question: what does time mean to me now? And what do I think it should mean to me? The second question is easier. I do consider myself an athlete and I am a competitive person by nature. I don't want to change who I am, so I think time should matter to some extent. I think I should set my sights on some kind of target range (as opposed to an exact time) and then on race day, focus more about the strategy/execution than that ultimate goal.

What does it mean to me now? And do I have a goal for my marathon in two weeks? I don't really know what time means to me now. Still thinking about that one. Maybe the answer is simply "it doesn't mean as much as before." I don't think I need it to validate that I've been working hard. I've had some fantastic workouts so I know that my fitness is solid. I haven't given much thought to my marathon time during this whole cycle, so I guess that's a step in the right direction. I also realized that I don't know how the paces line up with the times. I haven't spent any time on the pace calculator trying to correlate specific paces with finish times. Now that they've lowered the BQ standard, I actually don't know the specific pace of a BQ.

Why haven't I looked? Because it doesn't really matter based on what I am trying to do time-wise. I think I can run an average pace of anywhere from 8:00-8:20 so I'll start slower than 8:20, run conservatively the first half and then see how I feel. Our coach has a pace chart for workouts and I have been using the 3:30 paces as a guideline. I've never not been able to hit them, but at the same time, I don't expect a 20+ minute PR.

2008 Shamrock Marathon-- A Success!

Regarding PRs, it's been four years since I've run a good marathon (although I technically set a 40-second PR in May 2009). Shamrock 2008 was the last time a marathon went well for me and I have run plenty since then. I do believe that everything happens for a reason so I have let go of my anger around this. I think the purpose here is that I am being pushed to become mentally healthier. Just like I had to experience so many relationship failures in order to work on myself, and ultimately meet my wonderful husband.

My first seven marathons were all huge successes, so I know I'm capable of a strong marathon performance. I just need to make my marathon time less of a priority and my relationship with myself more of a priority.

I don't expect extreme taper madness this time, but it's definitely okay to get a little nervous and anxious. I think most marathoners get that way! I don't feel entitled to anything-- especially given my low-mileage approach. I am fully aware that anything can happen on race day, and I am prepared for whatever the day may bring. I just want to be okay. No matter what time I get, I want to be able to fall asleep the night after my marathon at peace with myself.

Lazy Susan

I recently took a "what kind of runner are you quiz" from Active.com. It was just for fun of course, and I had to laugh when they called me the "Lazy Susan, Casual Runner." One of the reasons my score was low enough to fall in this category was because I indicated that I ran with others and I did most of my runs "in the community" as opposed to trails and mapped out routes. I'm guessing they're picturing a fitness runnergirl who gets together with her other runnergirl friends for a few laps around the neighborhood several times a week. Not the case!

In this context, I will provide a training update!

Running With Others

As I blog about frequently, I run with Capital Area Runners under the guidance Coach George. I run with them once during the week, for either an interval or a tempo run, and then usually on the weekend long runs. When I am not running with CAR, I am running with my husband, and lately he has been joining me on the weekend long runs.

I used to think that running with others wouldn't help me get faster because I'd likely be going too fast or too slow for an optimal workout. But the coach has us work in groups for a reason. We all pull each other through the long runs and on the track workouts, we take turns being the leader. I ran just over 20 miles yesterday with two teammates and my husband during a wind advisory, but being with a group made the time just fly by. It was fun!

I haven't been blogging about my workouts lately, because my head hasn't really been focused on any specific workout, but I'll pull a few examples now of runs with others that have been enjoyable, confidence-boosting, and good race prep.

Feb. 18: 16 miles w/10 at MP

Specifically, 2 warmup up miles, 4 MP, 1 recovery, 3 MP, 1 recovery, 2 MP, 1 recovery, 1 MP, 1 recovery. This was a workout prescribed by my coach and I ran with three teammates plus my husband. This was my second time doing this workout. The first time was two weeks prior, on Feb. 5 with one teammate and my husband. During the Feb. 5 workout, I was focused on going no faster than marathon pace, although the last MP mile was very zippy because I felt good. During the Feb. 18 workout, I was being lead by this speedster, and was worried that I was overdoing it. But one of my other teammates said, toward the end of the workout, "just go with it" in a casual tone of voice and it totally relaxed me. "Just go with it" might be a new mantra of mine. Just as I can't obsess over not running fast enough, I also can't worry about going too fast. I need to stop worrying and just run!

Splits for the MP miles:

4-- 8:03, 8:02, 8:12, 8:00

3-- 8:14, 7:56, 7:58

2-- 7:56, 7:47

1-- 7:39  

Whatever this averages out to, I do not plan on it being my actual marathon pace! But it was a nice workout. Surprisingly, my legs felt great the next day so I guess I wasn't overdoing it as I suspected.

Feb. 21: 6 x 1200m with 500m recovery jogs.

This was a Tuesday morning track workout. The coach lately has been emphasizing not over-doing the speed on the track and trying to get more volume out of the workouts. I had never done six 1200's, so this was a 1200 PR for me. As I mentioned above, we took turns leading. I considered myself to be one of the more conservative members of my group and fully expected that I would go no faster than what the coach recommended, but when it was my turn to lead, I shot out way too fast and then had to dial it back for the second lap. Oops!

The splits were 5:09, 5:12, 5:10, 5:11, 5:10, 5:07.  I was actually running 1200's faster last summer, but that's when the coach cut me off after just four of them, so I'm guessing I was pushing too hard and my form was falling apart.

Running in the Community

There aren't any paved running running trails that I can get to from running out my front door. So if I'm not running with CAR, my husband and I are running around nearby neighborhoods. Thankfully there is a nice path that connects the neighborhoods so we don't have to run on major roads. And once inside the neighborhoods, we run on the street because cars are typically few and far between.

Feb: 11: 20-mile Progression

Two weeks ago, I ran 20 miles on neighborhood roads with my husband. We would have joined CAR, but we had to be somewhere at 11:00am, which meant a 6:30 start time. Actually, the original plan was to go with CAR on Sunday, with a tempo run on Friday, but the forecast for Sunday was a "real feel" of 8 due to the cold temps and wind chill. Therefore, we did the run on Saturday, the day after my 4-mile tempo. 

Splits: 9:43, 9:14, 9:16, 9:14, 9:37, 9:03, 9:05, 8:56, 8:39, 8:34, 8:39, 8:28, 8:52, 8:10, 8:17, 7:56, 7:50, 8:02, 7:49, 7:40.  

It was one of those days where I felt like I could have just kept going and going. I am fairly confident that I could have tacked on an extra 6.2 at a decent pace and had a decent time. But alas, the marathon was not on Feb.11. 

Being the Lazy Susan that I am, I think I'll go have some breakfast and surf the net now.

Running: Then and Now

As a follow up to my somewhat serious previous post, I thought I would do a more lighthearted comparison of my running then and now. For "then" I'll take 2009, the year I met my husband and I was still living in my condo in Falls Church.

2009	Now
Always ran with iPod/Headphones	Almost never use iPod/Heaphones
Speedwork on the treadmill	Intervals on the track, tempos on track or road
Monday-Friday always on the treadmill.	Treadmill only on business trips, and even then I try to avoid it.
Usually ran alone, had a training partner for some long runs.	Run with my husband and/or Capital Area Runners. Only run alone if husband is injured or sleepy.
Average mileage was in the low 50's during marathon training.	Average mileage is in the upper 30's to low 40's during marathon training.
Only swam when injured.	Swim at least once a week.
BQ on the Brain.	Focused on races of all distances.
Brooks Adrenaline for long runs and easy runs, Mizuno Elixir for races and speedwork.	No change! These are great shoes for me.
Ran all races in a skirt.	Longer races in the skirt, shorter races in shorts.
Followed a training plan.	No training plan. One day at a time!
Did long runs without gels and on an empty stomach, trying to teach my body to burn fat.	Eat breakfast before long runs, use sports drink and gels during.
Rarely did core work.	Do planks almost every day & stuff on the Bosu Ball.
All long runs on the W&OD trail.	Long runs on various routes in DC, VA and MD with my group, or on neighborhood streets w/husband.
Posted on Runner's World Forums almost every day.	Never post on Runner's World Forums.
Started most runs at 5:00am (waking up in the 4:00 hour), bedtime was 7:30-8:00.	Start most runs at 6:00am. Bedtime is 8:30-9:30.

Most of these changes can be attributed to three huge factors:

My husband and me in NYC

• Meeting my husband and doing most of my runs with him.
• Moving to house where I can run out my front door and have a shorter commute to work.
• Training with Capital Area Runners.

A quick training update: I am now four weeks out from the Shamrock marathon in Virginia Beach. I've completed one 20-miler (progression run) and have another one planned for next weekend. I've run two 16-milers each including 10 MP miles. I've been running decently fast intervals and tempos and feeling energized overall.

I like focusing on how far I've come with my running in the past few years instead of having my PRs be the "tell-all". I don't necessarily think that what I was doing before was wrong or ineffective. I just feel like I'm more balanced now and enjoying it more.

Attitude Adjustment

It's very tempting to write a post that recaps my training over the past few weeks, complete with split times and mileage totals, but I'm going to tackle a different subject matter.

I've had many, many successful training cycles. Suffice it to say, I'm good at training! I'm very consistent and dedicated to running and I have been since day one. In the past four years, none of those training cycles resulted in a good marathon. None of them. So I'm not going to address my progress with this cycle (at least not in this post) because it's not the kind of progress that I really need at this point.

I need a healthier mindset. I've been working on this for about two years now, but change doesn't happen over night, so I'm still working on it. What do I mean by "healthier mindset"? When I met my husband back in 2009, my attitude about running was as such:

• Followed a training plan to the letter and was disappointed with myself if I didn't make my weekly mileage goal.
• Didn't listen to my body and would do all runs as scheduled, even if I was tired or I felt an injury coming on.
• Very focused on time as the only indication of a good run or race, disregarding how the run felt
• Very competitive with others and frustrated when I saw other people get faster at running while I wasn't progressing as much.
• Everything in my life revolved around my running. It was my top priority.
• Needed to "prove to others" that I was fast
• Had to qualify for the Boston marathon because that was the ultimate determination of whether or not I was a fast marathoner.

Doesn't sound like much fun, does it??? A lot of this is deep within my personality, and I don't intend to change who I am at my core. I will always be competitive, dedicated and self-critical. I will always care about how others perceive me. But the extent to which I allow these elements of my personality overtake my mindset and ultimately wreak havoc on my marathons can certainly be lessened.

So what progress have I made in this journey? Although I've always known that my running had an unhealthy aspect to it, I didn't see it as problematic until May 2010. That's when I realized I needed to make some changes.

Stage 1: Drop the BQ Mentality
Ever since I ran a miserable race at the Bob Potts Marathon back in May 2010, I realized that my attitude needed some major work. I had been obsessed with qualifying for Boston and every time I didn't qualify, I'd feel cheated because I trained so well and knew I was shape for the time required. I had gone into every race over the past two years with high expectations and when something went wrong, like the weather, it would just be a huge blow to me. I later realized that the weather was only one factor contributing to my bad marathons-- the pressure I put on myself to qualify for Boston was also wearing me down.

I was able to just say "screw Boston" and focus on running the best marathon I could. The qualifying standards for Boston got faster and I didn't care. In fact, I was glad they did because the race was filling up too quickly. I didn't really look at it as pertaining to me. It was just something else going on in the running world-- it didn't relate to me because I was doing my own thing.

In the fall of 2010, I ran the NYC marathon alongside my husband as his first marathon. I obviously wasn't trying to BQ there. A month later, I ran the St. Jude Memphis marathon without a real time goal, but the race was ruined anyway by digestive issues. And then came the multiple stress fractures, so there was no marathon in the Spring of 2011.

Stage 2: Ditch the Training Plan
The stress fractures, ironically, were very good for my running career. Because of them, I was introduced to pool running and regular swimming and I learned that I could keep up my fitness even without running for 4+ weeks. If I could go for 4+ weeks with just pool running and elliptical, surely I could do that for a few days if something in my body felt "off".

I now felt like I was no longer dependent on a rigid training cycle to keep fit. The best approach would be to take things one day at a time and see how I felt. That's how I approached my comeback from the stress fractures, and it's how I've been training ever since.

Along with ditching the training plan and adding pool running + swimming came a lower weekly mileage average. In 2008, 2009, and 2010, I would typically average my training cycles in the low 50s and peak right around 60. And I was obsessive about getting that target mileage every single week.

No more! Starting last summer I began training with Capital Area Runners, and the coach prescribes weekly intervals and tempo runs, but the rest is up to me. This approach to training has taken the pressure off. I take things one day at a time. I often even start my runs not knowing how many miles I will run or how many intervals I will do. I just go by feel. It's been great not only for my body, but for my mindset because the pressure has diminished.

Lately I have been averaging in the high 30s/low 40s, but the runs have been more focused on quality than they had been previously. Most importantly, I don't care about what the specific mileage total is. I like to look at it in my training log and be aware, but I attach no value to the number.

Stage 3: Have No Time-Based Expectations
When I ran the Milwaukee Lakefront marathon last fall, I had come a long way in changing my attitude. I had no time goal, I didn't care if I qualified for Boston, I hadn't obsessed over my training. I went in feeling confident and just knowing I would nail it.

The problem was, everything was now "perfectly aligned" for me. Wait. . . that's a problem? Well yes. Today was the day. I had so many issues with illness and injury and weather and finally I had the perfect day where I was in great shape and the weather was cooperating. Despite not having a time goal, I just felt like I had to do well. My marathon time just had to line up with what my shorter distances had been predicting for years.

But the race was a complete disaster. I went out slowly and the only explanation I could find was that I had stressed myself out too much and didn't get the sleep I needed in the weeks prior.

It's hard to have no time-based expectations. I know where I am at fitness wise. I know exactly the time I "should" be able to get. How do I just ignore that?

By telling myself that nothing is guaranteed in the marathon. Nothing. I've learned it the hard way.

There is still more "attitude work" needed with this cycle. Truthfully, I know I will always be competitive and driven so I will never go into a race completely stress-free. It's just not in my nature. I've really enjoyed the low-stress attitude that I've been having toward my training lately, so I am going to try and bring that with me on race day. I'm actually trying not to even think about race day. I would love to just wake up one morning, prepare myself to drive to a long run with my team, and then have my husband tell me we're actually going to a marathon instead.

Race day is just another training run. The only difference is that when it's over, I get a week-long break from running!

I'll return to blogging about my workouts soon enough, I just felt like writing another one of those "OMG it's going so well posts" wouldn't be very significant. Training almost always goes well and it's not where I need to improve.

Staying Fit While On Vacation

I've just returned from an incredible vacation to Cancun, Mexico. My husband and I stayed at Excellence Playa Mujeres, a five-star, all-inclusive resort. It was incredible. We chose it because it was the highest rated all-inclusive resort we could find on Trip Advisor, at a destination with a direct flight option. Having a direct flight was very important to us in our decision-making process because otherwise, you spend the entire day travelling and the risk of delays doubles.

Unfortunately, our direct flight on the way home was cancelled just a few weeks after we booked the trip last August and there was nothing we could do about it. More on that later.

The vacation was so relaxing and fun and much-needed in my case. I'm a very high-stress, type-A person who cannot relax at home. Even if I am doing something relaxing, like watching a movie, I am not truly relaxed because I know there are other things I could be doing, like housework or laundry. Or my mind wanders to what's coming up at work or what my running schedule will be. But when I am on vacation, it's impossible for me to do anything except for relax and have fun, so I am able to truly kick back.

Our patio was to the left of this pool.

For me, exercising is a stress relief and I truly enjoy it. I was able to do plenty of that on vacation, while still taking a "recovery" week with no speed work or long run.

Swimming
For anyone who swims, you know how frustrating it can be to have to share a lane, or to be in that ultra-humid indoor pool environment. I was in a swimmer's paradise at this resort. We had a "swim up suite" which meant that when we walked out onto our patio, the pool was right there. The resort had many different pools and this one was the most secluded, so I had the entire thing to myself. (Plus, the water was cold at this pool so people didn't want to get in for too long if at all.) It was probably about 5-10 yards longer than a typical indoor pool and the water felt so much fresher than what they use at Cub Run Rec Center, where I usually go.

On Sunday, I swam 26 laps while my husband ran on the treadmill. I can't emphasize enough how awesome this was. Beautiful weather (high 70's) the pool to myself, and fresh-feeling water.

Getting ready to swim. Wish I had thought to bring a cap!

I was also happy to have a pool that was a little longer than what I was used to. But then I realized-- hey-- there are other pools here that are even longer. In fact, there's one pool that you can swim non-stop in because it flows around 6 of the resort buildings, making a large circle. My husband and I walked around that pool one night and I wondered if I would be able to swim it without stopping. I had no idea how long I could swim without stopping because I am used to having to turn around at the wall. I only stop for a few seconds, but it's enough of a break to get a longer breath.

If you look back near the hammock, that little blurb in the water is me-- just to give you an idea of scale. (Click on the photo to maximize). And this is just a small part of the "course". I knew I wouldn't be able to swim freestyle the entire way, so I told myself I could alternate with breast stroke if I felt tired, but I wanted to minimize that and swim as much freestyle as possible. Check out the video!

The one thing this video taught me was that when I breathe to my left, I lift my head up before putting it back in the water. I don't do this on the right side. Ironically, before I learned to breathe on both sides, I used only my left. I had to force myself to learn to use the right side. I knew the proper way to do it, so I did. However, I didn't realize that the "natural" feeling side was incorrect. Something to work on. 

I successfully swam the entire thing non-stop and it took me about 8 minutes. And then I did it again!

Running

This place had the best fitness center I have ever seen at a resort. The treadmills were new, with built-in fans, and you could run for longer than the typical 60-minutes. They had a fridge full of bottled water which was part of the all-inclusive, as well as cold wet washcloths. Given how much I overheat on a treadmill, this was much appreciated. Despite all of these things, I still had a difficult time on the treadmill, and didn't attempt any kind of speedwork. It wasn't possible to run outside because it wasn't safe to leave the resort. The advertised "jogging trail" was just a path through the resort that wasn't at all long and also slippery. (My husband broke his toe by slipping on the pavement. . . ) Here are my workouts. 

• Saturday: 8-mile run on the treadmill
• Sunday: 26 laps of the pool (about 1500 yards)
• Monday: 7.5-mile run on the treadmill + swimming in winding pool. 
• Tuesday: 6.5-mile run on the treadmill  + swimming in the winding pool
• Wednesday: Swimming

Core Work

I didn't forget about my planks!

Eating

At this resort, it was easy to eat healthy because they made the healthy food so delicious and had plenty of healthy options. Don't get me wrong, I had my fair share of the self-serve soft-serve ice cream and tropical drinks, but most of my meals were on the healthy side and very yummy. The breakfast buffet had a smoothie bar and you could get a smoothie made out of almost anything-- including cactus. Although I think a cactus smoothie is an oxymoron. They had an entire section of health foods, including this chilled oatmeal that you could top with fresh berries. Yummy! They also had 24-hour room service, but we only did that once because we liked having a larger selection.

Grouper at the French Restaurant "Chez Isabelle"

Smoothie Bar

There was also a large selection of sushi-grade fish to choose from at breakfast. I had salmon almost every day!

Relaxation, Romance, and a Little Chess

The weather was perfect every day. We spent most of our time relaxing on the beach or at the pool. I usually never have time to read, so I really enjoyed reading Atlas Shrugged. The book is 1,000+ pages and I'm now almost done with it! If you've read it, please don't comment on how it ends. 

Here are a few more photos:

Greg and me at a Tapas Bar

They had beds on the beach!

Showing off my core work!

They also had some rather large chess sets in the lobby, which Greg and I took advantage of in the evenings:

What move should I make!?

One of the nicest things about this resort was the room we stayed in. As I said earlier, it was a "swim up suite" but it also featured its own hot tub and the most luxurious shower I have ever been in. The mini bar was stocked with a great selection of beverages, all part of the all-inclusive. Take a peak!

We left the resort on Wednesday at noon to catch a 3:00 flight to Houston, that would connect us to Dulles. Because of the Houston layover, we wouldn't be getting into Washington Dulles until just after 10:00, which annoyed us because the flight was supposed to be direct, but it wasn't the end of the world.

But then there was a ton of rain in Houston, so our flight there was delayed by over three hours. We got to spend 5+ hours in the Cancun airport, one of which was spent in the line of people checking in and figuring out what they would do about their connections.

We didn't arrive into Houston until about 9:00pm, and our connecting flight was long gone. And since there had been so many weather delays, most of the airport hotels were booked solid. I literally called about 10 different hotels, all of which were booked. We finally found a Howard Johnson that had two rooms left. Our room was non-smoking, but the place smelled like smoke anyway. Particularly the bathroom-- I couldn't stand it in there long enough to take a shower. What a contrast from our resort! I didn't sleep well at all because I was uncomfortable and the was a trucking station right outside of the hotel which was loud.

The next morning, we went to the airport and our 12:00 flight was delayed for about an hour-- no explanation given. The loudest, most obnoxious child ever sat right in front of us, and there was no way to sleep. I did fall asleep briefly, but then she was banking on the side of the plane where my head was resting, so that was the end of that. We finally arrived back into Dulles, had a baggage delay, and then got a cab home.

If the original direct flight hadn't been cancelled, we wouldn't have had to deal with Houston weather. But I guess we're lucky we made it out of town without a snow storm or anything.

Aside from it taking us over 24 hours to get home (and costing us an extra vacation day), the trip was wonderful! I can't say I really feel relaxed due to the stress of the journey home, but I enjoyed being at the resort while it lasted!

Brrrr. Cold Weather Running Tips (And Update!)

I know we've been spoiled in the Washington DC metro area with seasonably warmer than usual temperatures for most days and very little snow. While some folks love the fluffy white stuff, I hate it. I run in the dark before work, so I am not able to spot icy patches and I am not able to see the ground I am running on. Yeah, I know, I could get a head lamp. But I don't.

Thankfully, the weather hasn't yet caused me to take it to the treadmill, but I fully intend on using a combination of pool running/treadmill/elliptical if I think it's too icy to run outside. I think that too much treadmill running was the culprit behind my stress fractures last winter, so I wouldn't attempt to replace all my mileage with treadmill mileage.

As for the cold, there has only been one morning that was brutal, with a temperature of around 13 degrees. Otherwise, the temperatures have been in the mid 20's at their worst, with the wind chill often knocking them down into the teens.

Brooks Wanganui Cabrio Mittens

The biggest challenge in cold runs is my hands. Last January, I posted about the Little Hotties hand warmers I put in my gloves. However, they don't work well in traditional gloves. And the lack of air when put in mittens actually makes my hands hot and sweaty. So how do you best use these little nuggets of warmth?

The hotties need to be on your fingers, so my friend Cristina turned me on to the hybrid glove/mitten, which allows you to put the hotties in the mitten part, while still having access to your fingers if need be. I bought a pair of Brooks Wanganui Cabrio Mittens which are made of a heavier/fleecier material than other hybrids. They have been working great, but the only drawback is they come in either small/medium or medium/large, unisex. The small/medium size is too big for me, but I make it work anyway buy stuffing my sleeves into the base of the glove.

Another benefit of these gloves is that unlike regular mittens, you have quick access to your fingers for taking gels.

When it's really cold out, I end up using two pairs of hotties (4 total) one for the fronts of my fingers and the other for the backs. The lone thumb ends up getting cold, so I have to periodically insert it into the mitten area so it can share in the warmth.

As you may be able to deduct from reading this post, I have, in fact, been running again. I'm finally over my cold and my calf has been behaving. Here's a recap of my workouts since I last posted.

Sunday, Jan. 8: 13-mile run on the C&O Canal Towpath with my husband and my CAR teammates. Slow start, fast finish, average 8:48.

Monday, January 9: 4 miles of pool running + 500m swim. A fairly short swim for me, but I was feeling really worn down due to the lingering cold. I was really dragging the rest of the day

Tuesday, January 10: 6 miles, easy

Wednesday, January 11: 8 miles total, including 2 x 2 miles at tempo pace, followed by 1 mile at tempo pace. 5:00 recoveries. The first set of 2 was (7:30, 7:10) and the next set was (7:17, 7:06) and the final mile was (6:56). That first mile was the hardest. I think it's just really hard to get going in the cold. Even though the second set was faster than the first, it felt easier because I was warmed up. I did do a warmup before I started, but 1.5 miles at an easy pace just doesn't cut it when it's sub-freezing.

Thursday, January 12: Rest! (except for core work)

Friday, January 13: 6.5 miles total, including 5 x 800m on the track, with 400m recoveries. I was pleased with my paces. If I were going to do any more than five of them, I would have slowed my pace a bit.

Saturday, January 14: Another rest day!

Sunday, January 15: 16-mile run with my husband (well, he actually did 18 and we parted ways at mile 12). Cold and windy with a "real feel" of 16 degrees. Slow start, fast finish. Average 8:49. This run felt great at the end and I felt as if I could have gone farther/faster, but I didn't want to push it.

These workouts were out of sync with what the rest of my team is doing. They are doing hills instead of intervals, but considering this is my first week being "back" and probably the last week they are doing hills, I didn't think doing just one hill workout over the course of a training cycle would help me, so I got a head start on the intervals. We typically do intervals on Tuesday and Tempo on a Friday, but I reversed them because I wanted to prioritize the tempo run over the intervals. I didn't want the intervals to wear me out to the extent that I couldn't execute a good tempo.

So the week wasn't in line with the schedule I'm trying to be on (that of my teammates) but it worked for me.

I'm definitely more optimistic today than I was when I last posted. However, I know that there will be more obstacles to come in my training. I have a vacation coming up, followed by two business trips in February. I'm planning to do just two 20-milers instead of my usual three, but I keep reminding myself that my best marathon ever was run with just one 20-miler under my belt.

Slow to Start

My running life: slow.
My working life: fast.

I started a new job this week, which is why I haven't had time to read and comment on as many blog posts as I would have liked. I think this is going to be the norm for me (at least initially) because there aren't enough hours in the day to run, work, sleep, spend time with my husband, and also read the 30+ blogs I am subscribed to.

The new job is wonderfully busy. They've taken the phrase "throw you right in" to a new level and I spent my entire first week in back-to-back meetings. Of course I also have a ton of projects I'm working on, which require extra hours because the work day is spent in meetings. I love interacting with other people and sharing ideas, so I'm excited about this high level of collaboration-- it's just an adjustment from what I am accustomed to. The job will also require a fair amount of travel (maybe once per month) because of various events and visiting other office locations for meetings.

My running has not been going well, and I'm far behind where I would like to be in my training for the Shamrock Marathon in March.

First half of December: Recovering from Overtraining
I've identified the cause of my poor performance at the Memphis Half Marathon as over training. I took five days off after the race, but I still felt like I had zero energy for every run I attempted two weeks post race. I wasn't "sick" in the traditional sense, but my energy level was extremely low, my heart rate was elevated, and for the first time in years, I simply didn't care about what my training log said. I had originally dismissed the overtraining idea because my mileage had been relatively low in November. However, I did 3 races within the course of one month, plus some long runs and intense speed workouts. According to what I read, overtraining can occur if you don't give yourself enough rest in between hard efforts, and I think that was the culprit for me.

Apparently, overtraining takes about 2-3 weeks to recover from, and even longer in more severe cases. I remember trying to run in the second week of December and actually having to stop a few times because I just felt like it was so hard to move. I tried to run seven miles one day and I stopped when the Garmin said 6.9 (something I never do) because my house was in sight and I just wanted to not be running anymore.

Second half of December: Calf Strain
When I finally got some energy back, I did a short tempo run in a hilly area and messed up my calf (which had been feeling "off" but not injured). I spent the next two weeks in the pool and and the elliptical, running 1-2 miles here and there because my sports chiro told me I needed to put some stress on the muscle.

New Year's Eve: 5K Attempt
This race wasn't even worthy of a report in my blog, but I'll do a brief recap here. As you may be able to guess from the previous two paragraphs, I was out of shape for this race. Not for lack of trying, but these were the circumstances I was dealing with.

I primarily wanted to do this race because I've done New Years Eve races for the past three years and I think it's a good tradition. I convinced my husband to sign up for the accompanying 10K so I figured I would run the 5, and then cheer him in.

The calf issue was about 90% fixed (I could still "feel it" even though it didn't hurt), so I was fully prepared to DNF if something felt off during the run. I was perfectly fine with pulling off the course or walking if I felt any bit of pain. I just really wanted to give this race a shot. Half of me thought it was extremely stupid to be racing given the risk of re-injuring my calf, but the other half me thought the calf was okay and stubbornly wanted to race.

5K Finish

The good news is I finished the race with no calf pain. The bad news is, I was slow. I wasn't really trying to put out race effort due to my lack of training. I think I landed somewhere slightly harder that tempo effort but regardless, the dang thing felt hard. 23:18 for my slowest 5K in over two years. Nearly two minutes slower than what I ran just one month prior.

I didn't look at my Garmin at all during this race so I shot out too fast on the first mile, which was almost entirely uphill (7:09 pace). This pace would have been reasonable if I had been in better shape and racing it all-out, but I wasn't in good shape at all. If I had let myself look at the Garmin, I would have slowed down to a tempo effort of 7:30 on an uphill. After that first mile, the rest of the race was a struggle. I simply wanted to hang onto that effort level and get a good workout in, fully knowing that I was slowing down.

My husband felt similarly beat up by the race and opted to turn off at the 5K point instead of doing the full 10. Not a great performance from either of us, but we were happy to have participated and put out a good effort.

I did win 3rd in my Age Group, but someone else went home with my award because my D-Tag didn't register. My husband's didn't either, so I think it's because we registered on-site and our paperwork didn't get entered into the system. Regardless, my time was recorded in the "backup data" so I am listed as third place in the official online results, I just didn't get the recognition at the race. I don't care all that much because this was such a bad race for me, but the thought of an age group award did help pull me through during that last mile.

First week of January: Common Cold
On my first day of work, I noticed that quite a few people were coughing. Sure enough, I had a full-on cold by Wednesday night. Sore throat, stuffy nose, sinus pressure. It's not good to do speedwork when you're sick because it's a strain on the immune system, so I have been keeping the runs slow and easy.

I'm also out of shape, which is another reason for the slowness.

Being sick with the common cold confirms my self-diagnosis of over training. I ran 7 miles yesterday, which felt way more energized than the 7 I ran in mid-December. Overtraining: you feel like you can't run and you want to stop. You may actually find yourself stopping and walking. Common Cold: you have less energy, but the run feels decent with no urge to stop.

Looking Ahead
I feel mentally ready to get back into marathon training (It's only 10 weeks away and I haven't even done a long run yet!!!!!) But my body has had other ideas. I still think I have enough time to train and run a good race, but more obstacles are yet to come. I have a 6-day vacation at the end of January, some work travel in February, and there will probably be snow/ice which will force me onto a treadmill or into the pool.

I'm hoping to do my first official long run tomorrow with my team. Wish me luck!