Harrisburg Marathon Race Report

This morning I ran the Harrisburg Marathon in PA. I registered for this race back in July after the Marine Corps Marathon was canceled. This was my goal race for the season and I was hoping to run 3:10 or just under. 

This was marathon #27 (28 if you count the virtual Boston, which I do, so okay, 28) but I had never run Harrisburg before. This year, they changed the course to be Covid-friendly. That means no road closures and only paths and sidewalks. It's still unclear why road closures are deemed a Covid hazard, but potentially they didn't want to use police resources. I think cramming runners onto a narrow path seems like it would actually be worse in terms of social distancing, but in many areas of the country, that is all that race directors can get permits for.

In any event, this course was USATF certified as a Boston Qualifier so I was very grateful to have the opportunity to run it. It was well organized and I know the race director went to a great deal of effort to make modifications that would get the race approved. One of those was splitting the race into two days: both Saturday and Sunday. Instead of 600 runners all on one day, 300 runners ran on Saturday and 300 runners ran today. Another was having waves that went off every 10 minutes, and pre-assigning runners to those waves. 

Previewing the start

Saturday Adventures
Greg and I drove just over two hours to get to Harrisburg and arrived at around noon yesterday. Packet pickup was located on site at the race so I was able to preview the start/finish area. This was also the halfway point as the course was two loops of the same route. It was good to get a sense of how things would work and talk to some of the finishers about their experience.

We then headed to our hotel for lunch. We had lunch with our friend Aaron, who we met just two months ago at the local track. He actually ran the virtual Boston marathon on the track while we were doing a workout and we stayed to watch him finish. A fun way to meet a local runner. I suggested he run Harrisburg and so he signed up a few days later! 

Then we walked to the state capital building which was just a few blocks from the hotel. I heard there was a protest going on and I had never been to a protest so this was my chance. I was not going to be a protestor, I simply wanted to observe. There were not many people there (the main event had been two hours earlier) and it seemed like there was an equal amount of supporters for both Trump and Biden. "Stop the Steal" for Trump and "Count Every Vote" for Biden. 

On our way back to the hotel, we were approached by a reporter from a prominent news source. The reporter asked us if he could interview us and of course I immediately said "sure!" I love being interviewed for things! And then, after years of being mostly silent on social media about my political views, I just spewed it all to this reporter! I laid it all out there, didn't hold back one bit, and Greg joined in. And then the reporter asked for our names we provided them. So. . . . yeah that was definitely an impulsive move. Now my political views would be published on this prominent news outlet with my first and last name! DOH!

What had I been telling myself the past two months? Do not let election anxiety interfere with your race! And the day before the race, I go to a protest and tell a reporter all my beliefs. Lovely!

I told myself I would not check that news outlet until after the race and I would think no more about it. But then of course I kept replaying over and over what I said. (Note: I found the article after the race and thankfully none of our comments were used. Phew. Life is just easier when you don't discuss politics.)

We had dinner with our friend Aaron at an Italian restaurant and I ordered my standard chicken parm without the parm. Chicken, sauce, and pasta. Very bland, but it works for me. I should also mentioned that I hydrated with UCAN hydrate during the day yesterday, as I always do the day before a race. I am a firm believer that if you pre-hydrate with water and electrolytes, you do not need all that much water during the race. 

I did not sleep well last night. I got some quality sleep from 11:00-2:30, but aside from that I was awake for most of the night. This is pretty standard for me, so I wasn't too worried about it. But I did feel shaky and I noticed I truly was a little shaky when I started looking at my phone. Pre-race nerves are a normal thing, and I have had them before. 

Before the Race
I ate my typical pre-race bagel with peanut butter and banana. I always have this two hours before race start so there is plenty of time to digest this. I have eaten this same breakfast for every marathon and half marathon I have run since 2006! I've never had a problem with it. I got dressed, put my bib on, applied sunscreen, and mixed my UCAN. 

We left the hotel and during our walk to the race start, I sipped my UCAN. The plan was to have this one serving of UCAN pre-race and then use Maurten gels starting at around mile 12. This is what I had done in training and it worked well. (Although in training I didn't also have the bagel and banana with peanut butter). For hydration, I would carry my own bottle of water mixed with UCAN Hydrate and then ditch it about an hour into the race. Again, something I always do on training runs that works well.

About 15 women in the start corral

We arrived at the start line at 6:35 for a 7:00am start. I ran around the parking lot a little bit to warm up and used the porta potty.  The "elite" men started at 6:50 and the "elite" women started at 7:00. There were about 12-15 women in the 7:00 wave. Before entering the corral we had to answer a few questions and get our temperature taken.  Masks were required. Once in the corral, they spaced us out and then they sent one runner off every 15 seconds. We were allowed to remove our masks once we approached the start line.

It was about 40 degrees. I had a jacket that I would set aside before starting and that Greg would grab after he took my photo. The forecast was 40 degrees at the start, 59 degrees at the end, sunny skies, no wind. What a big warmup in less than 4 hours! I was somewhat worried about overheating during the last half hour, but I also wasn't TOO worried. By that point, the fate of my race would be decided and a little heat for a few miles shouldn't have a big impact. I definitely would not have wanted to start in the 8:00 wave though. On my weather scale, I give this a 9 out of 10. To get a 10 out of 10 we would have needed some cloud cover, as the sun was blinding in places.

Miles 1-5
I was the third female to start. I took my mask off as I approached the start line and began running. Greg was there and snapped a few photos. Then it was time to run the first mile around City Island. I was prepared for a lot of turns and uneven pavement. The uneven pavement was particularly challenging because of the shoes I wore. 

I wore the newly released adidas Adios Pro. This is a fast shoe and I love everything about it but the high stack height and lack of tread on the bottom makes it unstable and slippery. Thus, uneven pavement posed more of a challenge than it would in regular shoes. I am a very cautious runner and I did not want to fall in the first mile. Plus, I had only worn the shoes once before so I wasn't quite used to how they felt in the first mile. All of this caution and uneven pavement resulted in an 8:03 first mile. I had planned for 7:25-7:30, but I wasn't too concerned. The first mile is all about establishing a rhythm and getting the legs moving. 

I failed to establish a rhythm, though, due to all the turns and my cautious approach to any abnormality in the pavement. During that first mile, the two women who started ahead of me stayed ahead of me, and one really speedy woman passed me from behind.

After a mile around the City Island, we ran over a bridge. And then we turned left and ran for a very short while on a path, and then turned again to go onto another bridge. We ran across that bridge, had a few hairpin turns, and then back across the bridge to make an out-and-back. Turning on and off these bridges was definitely momentum stealing, so I still wasn't able to get into a groove during the second mile, which yielded a 7:40. I felt okay, but not great. My UCAN wasn't sitting well and I felt like I needed to keep burping. I didn't judge it though because it was still very early in the race. 

Mile 4

Coming back off of the bridge, we turned onto a path. Greg was waiting there for me and took my photo and that perked me up. I was excited to finally have the consistency of a path with no turns and hopefully even pavement. I really needed to find my groove and I had not yet. And my chest still felt tight-- like I needed to burp. At this point, I passed one of the runners who was ahead of me, so now I was the third female. Keeping in mind, though, I was also competing against the elite Saturday runners, whose times were not published.

Mile 1: 8:03
Mile 2: 7:40
Mile 3: 7:33
Mile 4: 7:22
Mile 5: 7:18

Miles 6-10
I did feel like I was exerting a little too much effort for still being in the first hour of the race, but I trusted my training. I knew I was fit and I knew I could put out a hard effort for a long time. Once I finally established a rhythm at around mile 5, I stopped looking at the Garmin and just went with it. Miles 5 and 6 felt like they were mostly downhill and there weren't any hairpin turns which was a relief. The pavement was bumpy in some places and I had to weave around runners and walkers who started in the 6:30 wave (those requiring 6-8 hours to finish). 

I noticed that my mood was not great. I felt nauseous, like I needed to vomit or burp, and the course was annoying me. So many turns and bumps and I just wanted to cruise on a wide road. I started getting mad at the whole Covid situation and the cancelation or alteration of so many races. I knew that I needed to be positive so I stopped being negative and focused on enjoying the race. Yes, it was annoying, but here I was doing what I loved to do! I had trained hard for the race and I was going to make the best of it. To be clear, the race organizers did a great job and I applaud them for finding a way to make this race possible. But as I was running, I was annoyed at the altered course. 

I ditched my gloves somewhere around mile 7, and I ditched my water bottle about five minutes later. As I said earlier, I believe that pre-hydrating and drinking plenty of water early in the race reduces the need for water later in the race. This is important for me because I often have a hard time taking in water after the halfway point. My stomach rejects it.

And now, a shout-out to AID STATION 3! The volunteers cheered for me by name and one of them said they had my book! They were so awesome and it really perked me up to be recognized. They requested the shout-out too, so THANK YOU aid station number three for being so amazing and just what I needed.

Mile 9.5: my favorite part!

At around mile marker 8, we ran down a hill onto a lovely stretch of flat, even pavement! I was so excited to be on this even pavement and it was well-shaded as the sun was still low in the sky. I just cruised. I finally felt good. I was optimistic about setting a PR. I finally was having the race I wanted to have. The nausea and chest tightness was still there, but it was manageable now that I could just cruise along. Mile 9 was 7:18 and mile 10 was 7:19. Perfect!

I saw Greg during the 10th mile, still on that nice stretch of the course. I gave him a big smile! Greg was able to see me many times during this race without having to move around too much. Because of the two-loop and out-and-back nature of this course, we kept running by the same areas. 

Mile 6: 7:27
Mile 7: 7:17
Mile 8: 7:18
Mile 9: 7:18
Mile 10: 7:19

Miles 11-16
I continued on, and I knew to expect a gravel trail coming up. The gravel didn't worry me too much. My marathon PR of 3:15 was set on a course that was about 70% gravel. I wasn't sure how the shoes would fare, but the benefit of having them for the rest of the race outweighed any stability disadvantage they may have been on the gravel. The hardest part of mile 11 was running directly into the sun on the gravel. It was difficult to see and I needed to be able to see my footing. 

I had a caffeinated Maruten gel during the 12th mile. I have been using these during training and they have worked well. Even though I was still feeling nauseated, the gel went down well. At this point, I didn't think I could stomach water, but this gel was like swallowing a pill. The 12th mile was probably the hardest of the race because it was mostly gravel and had hills and turns in it. I clocked a 7:51 mile. 

For mile 13, we ran over a bridge back to the start/finish area, and then started the next loop. The footing on this bridge was tricky as there were steel plates every 20 feet or so and running over them was not

Mile 13, two runners gaining on me.

stable. At this point, I could hear two runners coming up behind me. They were running together and talking to each other. They were getting closer and closer and I could tell they wanted to pass me. But given that we were on a sidewalk next to an open road, they could not pass me and instead came up quite close behind me. One of them was a woman, so I was now in 4th place. 

I crossed the halfway mark at 1:39:05. I knew a PR was not in the cards at this point, but I was hopeful that I could maybe beat my 3:22 from CIM. And then it was time to run the entire course again. Mentally that was a scary thought. I already felt worn out and my nausea was getting worse. So around City Island with uneven pavement again, although this time I was more comfortable in the shoes so I was able to run faster. 

I entered a negative mind space again and wondered if I should just stop running marathons and be happy with a lifetime PR of 3:15. Would I ever have a marathon go that well for me again? But I always have these thoughts at some point during a marathon when it's not going well. I start feeling defeated and wonder why I even bother with all that hard training. 

The nausea was getting bad and I really wanted to vomit. I stopped during the 16th mile and dry heaved. I tried to get the vomit out but it was not coming. I didn't want to stop too long so after about 15 seconds I proceeded over the bridge. This obviously cost me some time and I ran 8:01 for that mile. 

Mile 11: 7:37
Mile 12: 7:51
Mile 13: 7:33
Mile 14: 7:31
Mile 15: 7:47
Mile 16: 8:01

Miles 17-21
This was getting exhausting. I felt like I was running an 8:00 pace, but I was still well under that and I have no idea how. I started thinking about CIM and how things got really tough at mile 17. I remembered that I stayed strong all the way until the end of that race. But then my negative voice chimed in to tell me that CIM was on nice even pavement and had no awkwardness. But then again, the weather today was much better. I had expected to feel warm by mile 17 but I still felt relatively cool. Mile 17 was 7:37 which was a pleasant surprise. 

I started to repeat to myself that I was doing what I love most and that I needed to keep doing it. The nausea was so bad and I was working so hard. Finally I reached the turn around and was headed back towards the start. I knew that my favorite flat/smooth pavement was coming up so that motivated me. "Just get to that part and it will be easier" I told myself. It seemed to go on forever, but eventually I reached it. 

During the 21st mile, I caught up with one of the women ahead of me. She had been the first to cross the start line. We ran together for a little bit and encouraged each other. But ultimately I pulled ahead. I really enjoyed having someone to run with for that bit. 

Mile 17: 7:37
Mile 18: 7:44
Mile 19: 7:43
Mile 20: 7:53
Mile 21: 7:44

Mile 22

Miles 22-Finish
I had to dig really deep here. My legs felt really good but it was heating up, the sun was directly in my face and I was still nauseous. I poured some water over my head during the 23rd mile, and that felt great. I  wasn't overheating (at least I don't think I was) but I did notice things get warm. I was able to get down about 3/4 of another Maurten gel at this point. I wasn't sure if I needed it or not but I figured if I could get it down it would only help.

That gravel part came and I knew that would slow me down on top of my already slowed pace. Mile 23 was 8:07 and I was starting to bonk, but I knew I could hang in there and finish. I was the third female (at least for the Sunday race) but unfortunately I was overtaken by another woman during the 24th mile. She passed me at a pace that was much faster than what I was doing and she looked so strong. No way would I be able to keep up.  So I was back in 4th. 

The last 5K was all about staying strong and keeping up the effort. I knew it wouldn't be long until the race was over and finally I would be able to vomit. At least my legs felt good!

Mile 25 was the same as mile 12, gravely, hilly, and curvy, but I made it through in 8:29. And then it was over the bridge again and down to the finish!

I finished strong at a pace of 7:11 for the last 0.33 according to my Garmin. This was partially because of the downhill. But it was good to have a final kick. I finished in 3:23:19. Not anything near what I wanted or I had trained for, but that's the marathon for ya. My 4th fastest marathon.

Mile 22: 7:58

Mile 23: 8:07

Mile 24: 8:36

Mile 25: 8:29

Mile 26: 8:09

After the Race

About a minute after crossing the finish line I vomited black vomit. It wasn't all that much and the medical people at the finish line gave me a vomit bag. I didn't think I would need it, but then as soon as I got it I vomited again-- quite a lot! And it was black. According to the Doctors at Google, this was blood and it's an emergency condition. But to me it just felt like normal post-race vomit. I didn't eat anything that was black, but my guess is that probably something was irritated in my GI tract for running so long with all that stuff in there.

I felt SO GOOD after vomiting. I really wish I had been able to do that when I stopped in the 16th mile. It made all the difference and I felt like I could have run more. It was such a huge relief and after that I felt maybe the best I have ever felt post race. I was walking easily and my energy level was good. I even tackled a flight of stairs to get back up to the bridge! This means that my legs certainly had a faster race in them. But my digestive system had other ideas. 

I ended up winning second place Master's Female. The first place Master's winner passed me during the 24th mile. So close! I'm not sure what my award will be as they are going to mail them. 

Greg and I walked back to the hotel where I sat in a bath for over an hour and drank a coke. I wasn't hungry again for hours. But I felt pretty good, all things considered. 

Final Thoughts and Key Takeaways
This race was bittersweet. It was wonderful to run a live marathon. That's more than most runners get. The weather was pretty good and I was able to push through some pretty bad nausea. A BQ with a cushion of over 16 minutes is pretty good, too. But it's upsetting to have missed my goal by so much, with a PR that is now two years old. I know I have a 3:10 in me and now I have to wait until the spring to try again. 

I think my biggest mistake was eating too much. As my friend Gracie pointed out, nutrition needs change over time. That bagel with peanut butter + banana is something I have been doing for 15 years. When I do my long runs I do not eat beforehand, I only take UCAN. And that works. I almost never have GI issues on my long runs. It's been years since I have. I do think that nerves and adrenaline are a factor, and that can never be practiced in training. I was feeling shaky and anxious when I woke up in the morning. 

I think that for my next marathon I might cut out the bagel entirely (especially for a 7:00am start) and just do the UCAN. I will take less UCAN and mix it with more water so it digests more easily. I don't plan to change my hydration. Of course, if it were cooler I do think I would have drunk less water and maybe that would have helped. I think I need to fuel and hydrate the same way I do on my long runs because I know that works. 

The vomiting has been a thing at most of my marathons and half marathons for the past two years and I think my nutrition needs are changing. I'm running a lot faster which is more strain on my system, but less time on the course so fewer calories are needed.

So, yeah, I am bummed but I guess what I love most about this sport isn't necessarily getting that goal, but chasing it. So there is more chasing to be done.

B & A Trail Marathon Report: Adversity, Anxiety, and Attitude

This morning I ran a marathon! And I finished! It was my 14th marathon since I started running them in 2006.

Those of you who follow this blog know that I have struggled with the marathon for the past five years. Heat, hypothermia, stomach issues and most recently anxiety. In fact I wasn't even able to finish my past two marathons because my anxiety levels were so high. My heart rate soared and my body started to break down before I even got to the halfway point.

Given all of these past struggles, I reset my expectations. Even though I had the most amazing training cycle ever, and I am in the best running shape of my life, I wasn't pushing for a specific time goal. All the "signs" pointed to 3:30-3:35, but being too focused on time has played a major role in my anxiety, so I learned that I had to focus on other things. Primarily- simply running my best race possible in whatever circumstances were handed to me on race day.

Hell Week
(I realize that a good percentage of this "race report" focuses on the pre-race, but for me, that's the biggest challenge in a marathon. Not the race itself, but the buildup. )

Most marathoners are very familiar with the "taper madness" that occurs in the 2-3 weeks before the race. Training volume is down, pre-race jitters settle in and we have all this extra time on our hands. Last week, when I was two weeks out, I had the most relaxed taper week ever. I was actually sleeping 8-9 quality hours a night (my normal is 7 hours, and usually not straight through the night). I felt super relaxed and it didn't feel as if a marathon was approaching.

But then last Sunday night, I suddenly wasn't able to sleep. I've since identified many reasons for why this might have been (daylight savings time affecting my circadian rhythm, the house being too warm, the fact that I bought a new car that day, and the fact that I had slept so much the previous week that my body wasn't tired). Anyway, I tried to just brush it off on Monday and figured I would just make up for lost sleep on Monday night. Well, no, that didn't happen either. I only got 3-4 hours of off and on sleep and during that time I just felt so tortured. I woke up feeling like crap and I started to worry that this was becoming a pattern.  I went to see my sports psychologist, and that helped me a lot.

Finally, on Tuesday night, I slept. It was 7 hours and while I was hoping to make up for Sunday and Monday, I was happy to not have had another tortured night. When I woke up on Wednesday morning, I had this huge knot in my chest. I tried to ignore it, but the more I tired to ignore it, the tighter it got. Greg and I went on a 4-mile run, and my heart rate was elevated by 15 beats per minute. I was running a 8:45 pace, but my heart rate was as if I was running a 7:30 pace. And of course this freaked me out even more, and then I had a downward spiral from there, freaking out about the fact that I had a knot in my stomach and that I was experiencing physical anxiety.

I decided I wasn't even going to run the race. It wasn't worth all this physical anxiety. I was just going to call it quits before I even started. I hadn't expected I would feel like this in the week leading up to the race, and it upset me. I had worked so hard over the past nine months addressing my "perfectionist" attitude about marathons, and yet I was still getting knots in my chest and not sleeping.

After the run, Greg talked me down from my state of distress and I felt much better. Slowly, the knot in my chest went away. The key thing he told me was that my goal wasn't to eliminate anxiety, but to know how to manage it and react when it hit.

Back to the sports psychologist I went and he gave me some great advice on how to focus my thoughts during the next few days.

By Thursday I was feeling better. During my run, my heart rate was elevated by only 5 beats per minute. Still not ideal, but it proved that I was able to lower it from the previous day. Knowing that I had the power to lower it gave me hope and made me feel more in control. I wore the heart rate monitor while running, but I didn't look at the numbers until post-run, which was a good idea. During the run, I stayed focused on the music I was listening to and did everything I could to keep myself positive.

Thursday's run was perhaps just as big of an accomplishment as the marathon itself. Yes, running a marathon is very hard. But for me, being able to manage my anxiety and stay positive when all signs pointed to me having yet another bad marathon experience was huge. I had overcome a major hurdle. Even though it seemed like my anxiety would cause me to have yet another bad marathon experience, I did not let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy. I fought hard against it and insisted on staying positive.

I had a horrible start to my week, but I was getting back on track instead of continuing the downward spiral.

I slept decently Thursday night, and woke up feeling good on Friday morning.

Packet Pickup, Dinner, Etc.
Once Greg and I left the house, I started to feel excited and even more relaxed. Yes! We had a nice trip to Annapolis, got our bibs, browsed around a few stores and had dinner. I was living in the moment and not stressing or obsessing about the next day.

I met up with a friend and her running club after dinner, and it was awesome to get to chat with her for awhile.

Finally, it was time for bed. I kept waking up every hour and didn't sleep well, but by this point, I didn't think it really mattered. I was in an "I'll take what I can get" mode in terms of sleep. (I'm down by about 15 hours for the week at this point- I sure do hope I sleep tonight!)

Pre-Race
I felt pretty calm before the race. Greg and I got up, I had my typical breakfast, went to the bathroom a lot, and we were off. I kept going back and forth between long sleeves and a singlet with arm warmers. I eventually decided on long sleeves since it was supposed to be 43 and raining for most of the race. There was a 100% chance of rain starting at 11:00 and I didn't want to get hypothermia like I had at a previous rainy marathon. I also wore a hat to keep the water off of my face.

We got to the race about 30 minutes before it started and I went in search of a bathroom, as per usual. The bathrooms were located inside the fitness club that was hosting the race. The line was long, but it moved quickly. My sports psychologist pointed out that I get un-necessarily anxious when the lines are long and I fear not being able to use a bathroom. He told me that I can't control the bathroom line, so instead of focusing on it, I should really just think about whatever I would be thinking about if I weren't in line. So, I started talking to the woman behind me and asked her a bunch of questions about where she lived, where she worked, etc. The time went by quickly and before I knew it, I had only 5 minutes left and I was still in line. Well, instead of letting it bother me and throw me off my game, I just accepted it and headed to the start line without getting to pee.

Greg, who is coming off an injury, was running the first 5 miles with me. Since I know that my anxiety is at its highest early in the race, this was the best time for him to be there. The plan was for us to treat it like a training run and talk as we normally do.

Miles 1-5
Greg and I started slow. I didn't even bother looking at the Garmin for the first mile because I knew it was super slow and was good with that. During mile 2, I found a porta potty and stopped to use it. I didn't worry about how it would affect my time, I just knew it was something that had to be done, so I did it and moved on.

Greg and I really enjoyed these miles. The weather was perfect-- overcast and 43. It was nice to be running in a new area. We even joked about how there were water stops on our training run. And how people on our training run were wearing race bibs. Laughing and chatting away made the miles tick by fast and distracted me from what I was really doing. Greg held my water bottle for me (filled with G2), which was a huge help. I took a Honey Stinger gel at mile 5.

Mile 1: 8:53
Mile 2: 8:59 (includes bathroom stop)
Mile 3: 8:31
Mile 4: 8:36
Mile 5: 8:29

Miles 6-11
These miles were my favorite part of the race. I knew that I was over the initial hump and I was still feeling good, so all signs were pointing toward a strong race. I turned my music on and let it carry me. I got into a groove and everything felt awesome. During mile 6-7 I was chatting with this guy about his race history. I normally would never be so chatty during a race, but I needed all the distractions I could get. Ultimately I went ahead of him because my plan was to speed up after the 10K point. I didn't want the speed up to be like "Okay, it's been 6.2 miles, now is the time to start racing it!" I didn't even want to feel like I was getting faster, I just decided to give a little more energy.

I had a huge smile on my face. I high-fived the little kids, I said thanks to the volunteers, and I just soaked it all in. I just felt so, so happy to be in a marathon where my body was cooperating. The weather was perfect, the course was nice and it was just amazing. This is why I run marathons. I used to get this feeling back in 2006-2007 when I was new to marathons, but ever since I decided I wanted to BQ, I'd taken myself too seriously to high-five the kids or "waste" the energy to thank the volunteers.

Mile 6: 8:35
Mile 7: 8:20
Mile 8: 8:21
Mile 9: 8:26
Mile 10: 8:18
Mile 11: 8:26

Miles 12-18
I took my second gel at mile 11.5. I had been drinking a bottle of G2, and finished it at around this point. I threw the bottle away (actually found a trash can) and I knew I would be getting another one from Greg at mile 12.5. It felt awesome to not be holding a water bottle anymore.

Mile 12.5

Greg was waiting for me where I expected and I breezed by him, taking the second bottle of G2. It was completely full, and I knew I wasn't going to drink the whole thing, so I squirted some out so it wouldn't be as heavy. The music was still motivating me. I was still running strong. There were some minor inclines and declines on the trail, which I knew were subtly impacting my speed, so I didn't get hung up on the Garmin. I was looking at the Garmin about 1-2 times per mile, which is a lot less than I used to do. It was for informational purposes only, and I never let it change what I was doing. Even when it said 8:00 at one point, I just kept on going at the same effort level.

I realized that the paces I was running probably weren't going to get me to a BQ, but I wanted to play it safe given my lack of sleep that week. I wanted to avoid a crash at all costs. And I knew that if I was feeling good, I could just really turn on the gas during the last 10K.

The turn around was at mile 16.5, and there was a big hill. I knew that the course had one major hill, but I didn't know where. And this was it. It felt like a dream to go down the hill, but going back up didn't feel as good. I had actually ditched the water bottle at mile 14, so I was in search of a water stop. I felt myself craving water, which is never good in a race, but I figured one would show up soon enough. Mentally, it felt great to have hit the turnaround point, even though there was that huge hill still ahead of me.


Mile 12: 8:26
Mile 13: 8:31
Mile 14: 8:38
Mile 15: 8:22
Mile 16: 8:18 (fastest mile of the race)
Mile 17: 8:34

Miles 18-23
There was a long-awaited water station at mile 18. I was very thirsty so I quickly gulped down two cups of water. I took my 3rd honey out (which I had ideally wanted at mile 16, but there was no water there) and the minute I put it in my mouth, I felt like I was going to vomit, so I spit it out. After that, I still had the honey on my lips and when I got a taste of it, it made me feel sick.

I was at that water station for about a full minute. Stopping there for so long may have been a mistake because it made me realize that I no longer felt good. And now there was a pain in my chest and I felt like I needed to throw up.

Mile 20, Photo by Greg

The next few miles were just hellish. I went into survival mode. I didn't try to think about what caused it, I just did my best to power through it and prayed that it would go away soon. I kept burping, and each burp felt like a release, but the pain was still there. In retrospect I think a number of things could have contributed. It could have been anxiety-related because it was in the same area where I felt that knot in my chest earlier in the week, it could have been from drinking too much G2 early in the race, and no water. It could have been from gulping down the cups of water too quickly.

Anyway, the unfortunate thing was that I hadn't had any calories since I tossed the G2 at mile 14 and with the way I was feeling, I knew it would be nearly impossible to take any more in.

I knew to expect Greg shortly after mile 20 and I wanted to look good for him. I put on my best game face, but I walked as I approached him, threw down my gloves and my hat, and took a sip of water. The water made me feel like I needed to gag. I didn't even say anything to Greg other than that I couldn't drink the water. I didn't take the water with me, or the Honey Stinger chews. I walked away, and then slowly started to run again.

Meanwhile, the sun had come out! There had been a 100% chance of rain starting at 11:00, and instead of rain, we got sun. My hat had been completely un-necessary and my sleeves were rolled up. The weather was still nice-- I just wasn't dressed for it.

Mile 18: 8:24
Mile 19: 9:40 (includes water stop)
Mile 20: 9:10
Mile 21: 9:21
Mile 22: 9:40
Mile 23: 9:40

Miles 24-Finish
At this point, I told myself "You are going to run to mile marker 24. And then you will run to mile marker 25. And then, marker 26." I didn't think of it as three more miles. I thought of it as manageable chunks of distance. Thinking about it like this was very helpful and gradually, my chest/stomach problem started to dissipate. Instead of getting frustrated and discouraged about how this was impacting my time, I powered through it, determined to have a strong finish. In the past, I think I probably would have given up mentally and turned it into more of a catastrophe than it needed to be. Plus, even though I was struggling I was still passing people.

I don't think anyone passed me from about mile 10 onward. It makes sense because I started on the slow side and then sped up. I was thankful that nobody passed me as I slowed down, because that would have been discouraging.

I looked down at my Garmin and realized I could still PR. My average pace per mile was 8:44 and my PR pace per mile was 8:49. I was determined to get it.

With two miles left to go, I came upon someone who was hanging in there, but obviously going slower than me. I said something encouraging to him as I passed. Before I knew it, he was by my side and we were running together. Yay! I had someone to run with. I kept saying "we got this" and my big smile returned. I knew that things were only going to get better as I felt strong again and my chest pain was now just a minor annoyance.

I can't say enough how great it felt to be feeling strong at the end of a marathon. I haven't had a strong marathon finish since March of 2008. It's been five years. It was euphoric. It didn't matter that my time would be slower than what I was physically capable of. All that mattered was that I was going to finish happy and strong, and that I was pulling someone else with me.

"I see mile marker 26!" I said. I got pumped up, we ran to mile 26 and then I realized if I sprinted I could get under 3:49. I ran that last 0.2 like the end of a 10K and my final kick was awesome. It was so awesome that I felt like I could have kept going. In fact, I think that if the race had been 28 miles, my overall overage pace would have been faster. Ironic, but true, since I had plenty of energy and my legs felt good.

Mile 24: 9:01
Mile 25: 8:55
Mile 26: 8:23
Last 0.2: (7:43 pace)

After the finish
I was actually perfectly coherent and I felt great. I've never felt so good at the end of the marathon. And not once during the entire race did my legs get tired or hurt. This proves that my training paid off and I was truly in shape for a much faster marathon. It's just that I wasn't able to exert the energy I had when I was in so much discomfort. And it's amazing I had the energy that I did given that I hardly drank any water from mile 18 to the finish, and my last calorie intake was mile 11.5.

My time was 3:48:50, good for 3rd female, ages 30-39. It was a small race.

I found Greg and he said "You look much better now than when I saw you last!" I was so happy! I haven't felt so satisfied with a marathon in years!  And the funny thing is, if I would have run a 3:48 last year at this time, I would have been crushed. If I had the exact same race experience, I would have been so upset that I didn't qualify for Boston despite how great my fitness level was and how hard I trained. It wouldn't have mattered that I broke 3:50 for the first time, or that I beat my PR by over 2:00. It would have been a depressing day of "this is so unfair, why can't I just run a good marathon". But not today. I was fulfilled in so many ways. And as for that fitness I built up? It's not going anywhere! I still have the Cherry Blossom 10-miler ahead of me!

We waited around for the awards, which were given pretty quickly. Thankfully, they didn't wait for the 7-hour finishers before giving them out. Normally with a time like mine, I wouldn't expect an age group award. However, being an out-and-back race, I hadn't seen too many women ahead of me. I won a $20 gift certificate to National Running Center. I think I was supposed to get a plaque, too, but I didn't realize that until after I left so I hope they mail it to me.

Final takeaways
The age group award and the PR were just the gravy in this race. I am most proud of how I conquered my pre-race anxiety and got to the start line feeling relaxed. This resulted in a strong, happy finish and an affirmation that I have made some major fitness gains over the past few months. Especially coming back from Mono last summer.

I really hope I never have a "hell week" again during my taper. But if I do, I know now that I can manage the physical anxiety, and that a sleep deficit won't kill my race. I actually felt great physically during the first 18 miles, and again during the last 2.

In terms of lessons learned, I think I need to drink both water and G2 early in the race. Since G2 is a watered down version of Gatorade, I figured it was kind of the same thing, but it's probably not. And also- never trust the weather, even if there is a 100% chance of something! I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I pushed a bit more before the stomach issues. I'm not thinking about that in terms of what I did wrong, but just for next time I would like to have more confidence and be a bit less conservative. This race was not focused on speed or testing my fitness-- it was about refining the process. I've made huge progress and I now know what I need to do next time.

I'm really, really tired right now and I'm looking forward to a relaxing evening.

An Uphill Battle for an Important Cause

I ran the St. Jude Memphis marathon yesterday morning. The company that I work for is a gold sponsor of the race because St. Jude is our charity beneficiary. As the director of marketing, I was responsible for coordinating our sponsorship and our involvement in the race. The company is relatively small, so it was quite a "high" to see our logo on all the shirts and on the huge LED scoreboard in Autozone park at the finish line.

Tour of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital
On Friday morning, my husband Greg and I got a private tour of St. Jude Children's hospital. This came as part of our sponsorship. We expected the tour to be depressing, but it was actually anything but. The hospital doesn't look, feel or smell like a hospital. The focus is on the quality of life for the children. They even continue to go to school while in the hospital. There is bright artwork all over the walls and ceilings and our tour guide told us how the hospital came to be. It's really a fascinating story of how Danny Thomas, a man who had almost no money, prayed to St. Jude (the St. of lost causes) and immediately things started to turn around for him. His vision for St. Jude would be a world-class facility to treat childhood diseases that would be funded strictly by donation. The operating costs of the hospital are $1.6 million per day, and that's all achieved through donations. Of course, they could choose to sell their research and become for-profit at anytime, but if they did that, then the research wouldn't be freely disseminated and there would be special interest groups controlling things. Greg and I were both so inspired by the hospital and the generosity of all the people and organizations who contribute money to make it all possible.

The Expo
Greg and I manned my company's booth on Friday and we got very little traffic. Even though there was no shortage of runners at the expo, no one was really interested in what our technology company did. Which is okay-- we were mainly there for awareness and to show support of St. Jude. The CEO of my company ran the half marathon with two of his sons, age 16 and 12. They all did very well, considering they didn't really train for the race. (Actually, the 12-year-old trained and he ran a 2:11:02).

Race Strategy & Goal
This was not a target race for me. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I would do the full marathon based on how torn up I felt after NYC just four weeks prior. But I felt strong enough to run the full, so I decided to go for it. I didn't have a goal in mind, but I felt like I was a shoe-in for a PR, given my recent half marathon and 10-mile times. Also, given the fact that I ran a 3:51 nearly three years ago, and I was in much better shape now, 3500 training miles later. I decided that I was not going to try and BQ, but go out at a pace of 8:40 (just 9 seconds per mile faster than my PR) and then speed up at the halfway point if I felt good. I figured I would end up with something around 3:45. I ran the half marathon last year, and I reviewed my half marathon splits, which were based on feel and the elevation profile. Miles 1-13 of the full marathon are the same as the half marathon so I knew what I was in for.

The Start
Unlike New York, where we had to wake up over five hours prior to race start, we only had four blocks to walk to the start line. We left the hotel at around 7:15 and ended up walking there with my company's CEO and his kids. The 5K race started at 7:15, so we were able to see our CFO and his wife participate in the walk.

The weather was 54 and overcast. I was really happy about the overcast, but 54 was about 10 degrees higher than I would have liked. Last year, it was 27 degrees at the start line and I was really happy about that. I thought that as long as the sun didn't come out, the weather shouldn't hold me back too much.

This race uses a self-corralling system. I think it works a lot better than the assigned corrals. Instead of assigning you a corral based on a predicted time from when you registered, runners could choose where to line up. This was also a wave start, and corrals were released every two minutes. Greg and I lined up in coral 4, which included the 3:40 and 3:45 pacers. He was going for a faster pace, but we lined up at the front of the corral so that he wouldn't have to weave through people. Very well organized, in my opinion.

Miles 1-7
These miles were relatively crowded, given that both the half and the full marathoners were on the same course. My strategy was to walk through the water stations, Galloway-style, so as to preserve my legs. I did this in my marathon back in March of 2008, so I figured it would work again. I really didn't want to bonk and I wanted to play it conservatively. For these miles I was running in the 8:30-8:45 range, depending on the hilliness. I hit the 10K at 53:37, which is an 8:39 pace. There seemed to be an equal amount of uphill and downhill, and I ran based on effort. It felt very easy, but I kept telling myself that it should feel really easy.

Miles 8-13

I remembered miles 8-10 being the toughest part of the course last year, so I slowed up quite a bit-- to about 8:55. This portion was run through the woods and it's where Greg lost me last year in the half. The 3:45 pace group got way ahead of me, but I was okay with this. These miles were all uphill and I did not want to overdo it early in the race. I also remembered that the elevation profile showed miles 11-13 being downhill, but this wasn't the case. It was a net downhill, but those last few miles are all long rolling hills. It wasn't as if I was "out of the woods" when I got out of the woods. I didn't make up any time during miles 11 and 12, because they were hilly. Mile 13, on the other hand, was all downhill. I crossed the halfway mark in 1:54:30, which is a pace of 8:45. During all of my previous BQ attempt bonks, I had reached the halfway point in 1:50 or faster. So I knew I had set myself up for a smart race.

Miles 14-19
Greg finished the half marathon in 1:42:47 (a 5-second PR). He came to watch me just after I crossed the halfway point. It was really a mental boost to have him cheering for me. He also got everyone around him calling out my name.

According to the elevation profile, miles 14-20 were uphill. I figured this was a net uphill and that there would be downhills as well. I was wrong. It was just a steady climb, all the way to mile 20. I even said to someone running next to me: "Is this entire race uphill?" This was very disheartening to me because I was hoping that after a conservative first half, I'd be able to speed up during the second half, but I was still running in the 8:50-8:55 range on these hills. And by mile 18, I felt like I was running out of gas.

I had walked through almost every water station, pouring water all over my head (I felt hot, and the sun did start to peak through the clouds) and I knew I was well hydrated. I had taken my honey gels at the appropriate time, but by mile 18, I just felt like I couldn't handle the constant uphill nature of the race.

I also had to pee. I've only stopped to pee at one marathon out of the 11 I had done, but there was no avoiding it this time. Luckily, there were plenty of porta potties on the course so I didn't have to wait too long. Having to stop really killed my time for that mile and it made me realize that I was tired. This is why I hate stopping during marathons (except for the controlled waterstop walks). I never realize how tired I am feeling until I stop, and then it's so hard to get going again. But I did get going again, and I was still hopeful that I could gain back some time during the last 10K with the downhills.

Miles 20-Finish
Mile 20 was a nice downhill and I started cruising again. Suddenly everything felt good and I thought I could still PR, despite the bathroom break the slowness of miles 14-19. But I began to feel nauseated all of a sudden, and my stomach really hurt. I've been fortunate to never have an upset stomach during a race before. It happens to me a lot during long training runs, but never during races. So, I guess it was my day to finally join the ranks of the many runners who've had stomach issues during an actual race. I had to go to the bathroom really bad, and I started looking for places along the side of the road I could go. I really just didn't think I could wait for a porta-potty or a restaurant of some sort.

We were running through a residential area, and I asked someone standing outside of a house if he lived there. He said no and I said I really needed a bathroom ASAP. He told me that there were some porta potties up to the left. It hurt so much to run, but I needed to get to those porta potties, or I was just going to explode. Finally I got inside a porta potty and had a diarrhea attack. Ugh. It felt really good to finally go to the bathroom, but I realized how bad the situation had gotten. This was at mile marker 22.

The last four miles were just awful. Even though I had gone to the bathroom, the pain moved to the right side of my belly button and felt like a cramp. Every time I ran it was a sharp pain so I had to walk. It actually didn't hurt when I walked, but the moment I started running, it would cramp up. And as I expected, miles 20-26 were all downhill. It wasn't rolling hills like miles 10-12, this was just nice consistent downhill to makes up for 14-19. It was so frustrating. My legs felt good and I had a lot of energy. I didn't feel at all like I had hit "the wall" and yet my stomach hurt so badly when I ran. Other runners and cheerers told me "I could do it" and that's what you hear when you bonk. So even though I ran a smart race, and even though I wasn't bonking, I still had that embarrassing "I am walking the last four miles of this marathon" experience.

I really wanted to drop out. But I didn't drop out because I was doing this for St. Jude children. And I was also representing my company, a gold sponsor of the race. It would have been bad PR and I think I would have regretted it. The people I work with don't care how fast I finish, they just care that I do finish. Even a 5-hour marathon would have been better than stopping. If I had been doing this race just for myself, then I probably would have dropped out. But I was strong for my company and for St. Jude. Seeing the hospital and understanding the cause really helped power me through.

I was able to run for about 20-30 seconds at a time, but then the pain would get really bad. When I got to the last mile, I realized that physically holding the side of my stomach helped to some extent, so I was able to run for a minute at a time. Slight improvement.

In all 12 marathons I've done, I've never walked during that last 0.2. No matter how badly I felt, I have always run that final 0.2. But not in this case. I was in so much pain! But as soon as I entered the stadium and I knew that my co-workers and husband would be cheering, I held onto my stomach and ran through the finish line.

I finished in 4:14:38, which is my 3rd slowest out of 12 marathons.
I placed 57 of 188 in my age group, which is still respectable.

As I finished, the medical people swarmed around me, as they had seen me holding my stomach, I assured them I was okay. I felt nauseated and tired, but I knew I would be fine once I sat down for awhile. I made my way up to the suite that my company had in the stadium where everyone was waiting for me (I was the only one doing the full marathon). They were all very supportive and understanding. I was so happy I finished and didn't bail out.

Reflections
Even though I am in the best shape I've ever been in (well, maybe I was in better shape in the weeks leading up to NYC) I ran my third slowest marathon ever. I went into this race with no expectations and I ran it conservatively, based on feel, and I still had a bad experience. I wonder when things are finally going to line up for me in and when I'll be able to run a marathon that truly reflects all the training I've been doing. The last time I ran a good marathon was in March 2008-- nearly three years ago. I only trained for 7 weeks, and I averaged about 35-40 MPW. For over two years now, I've been consistently running in the 40's and 50's, and my race times at other distances have dropped dramatically. Half marathon is down from 1:50 to 1:41. The 5K is down from 23:30 to 22:21.

After my experience with Bob Potts last may, I changed my perspective and I decided I wasn't going to use a BQ as a motivator. I was obsessing over it and it wasn't healthy. Since then, I've just wanted to run strong and put in good training miles. I feel wonderful about everything I've accomplished over the past two years, both in terms of my actual race times, and in terms of where I am mentally. I am much more relaxed about it now, although still as focused on training and racing to the best of my ability. So, I'm not really upset about this experience from yesterday. I'm not disheartened like I was after Bob Potts in May. I'm just wondering when I get to run a marathon when I say "Wow- I rocked it!" instead of "Oh, that was miserable." I remember how it feels to run a strong marathon. My first six were awesome. All of them PRs. The next six were plagued by injury, illness or bad weather.

I am just going to continue training and doing what I love to do-- run. My legs don't feel like I ran a marathon yesterday, because I didn't run a marathon. I walked most of the last four miles. I'm hoping to be back running by Tuesday.

If I can offer one piece of advice to marathon runners, it's that you need to love the training for the sake of the training and for the sake of it making you a stronger person. Your race might not reflect your hard work and dedication, but the important thing is that you know you've made yourself stronger.